Help! Advice for getting passed over on a promotion
January 7,2020 at 3:42AM UTC
I've been at a fast-growing start-up for just over a year and I've grown both my role as well as inventing the role of one of my coworkers. Recently, my boss asked me to look up job descriptions to help shape my plan for this upcoming year. I send over two Director-level roles and candidly told him those are what I am aspiring to growing into. I've been a Senior Manager for over 3 years, previously I had a Director title after being with a company for over 5 years and getting promoted progressively.
Today I was informed by my boss that he (director) and our most senior leader (CMO) decided they will hire a director-level external candidate and move me to be on that person's team to continue to grow the function.
WTF!!!?? I'm so upset this is not being offered to me, yet, I for some reason agreed with my boss that bringing in someone with more experience is something I can get onboard with.
Now what?! Do I ask why I wasn't chosen? Do I tell my boss I want to be considered knowing I wasn't chosen? Do I let it grow and ride this wave and see where I land?
That last option seems the most reasonable but it's gnawing at me that it feels the most "out of my control" and I'm worried I'm giving in and not fighting for myself...
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I just pre-ordered this book that a friend recommended and wanted to share - it's about burnout recovery - coming out 10/24.
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I have 30+ years of experience in Talent Acquisition/Leadership and I am still getting declined for not having a Bachelor's degree.
I was laid off from my position in July due to the company being sold and have been very diligently working every day to network and apply for positions. I have also been working toward a degree in HR part-time but had to wait for my kids to finish school for financial reasons. Am I feeling ageism for the first time and just not realizing it? I am at such a low point from all of the rejections - not even getting interviews from my applications. I update my resume and cover letter every time based on the opportunity so I'm not sending anything generic. I also try to connect with someone from the company via LinkedIn. How can a company justify the degree as a BFOQ and not a preferred requirement, when clearly the job can be done without a degree?
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Wtf is going on with employers???
I applied to a couple of jobs on Indeed. I tailored my resume to each position. When I haven't heard back, I sent messages through Indeed expressing my interest and NOTHING. I cannot take this job hunt anymore. Why do employers post jobs if they don't seem like they're intending to hire?
What is going on with this job market? I heard September-October was the best time to apply.
Edit: Just so no one thinks that I'm entitled, I have been looking for another job for 3 years. I should feel allowed to be frustrated. Yes, I have been getting interviews.
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Nervous about a company that prefers Ivy League grads.
I worked on a team previously that placed a lot of emphasis on school prestige, preferring graduates of Ivy League schools.
The organization in general didn't have that value, but this particular team did. It was a negative experience, as some adopted a very superior attitude that disregarded experience and demonstrated capability.
(As for why I was hired--sometimes you can be the best option they have without being their "ideal" option, if that makes sense. Also, pressure from HR to think more practically and to be more open-minded.)
I'm interested in another company that I've admired for years yet have been hesitant about because they clearly primarily recruit from Ivy League schools. While the initial conversation with the internal recruiter was positive and he wants me to move forward, I continue to think about the negative experience I had before.
*Would you assume that any company that cares about pedigree to this extent will behave the same way as my former team did toward someone who doesn't fit that mold?*
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My manager knew I was dealing with a very close family member/SO dying this spring, and my "depression"(from the situation)/exhaustion combo impacted my performance to a degree.
It wasn't an FMLA eligible situation. He did a 180 from compassionate to putting me on a PIP on his way out the door, so I had to navigate extreme work stress on top of end of life/death. I can only hope he gets the most painful kind of cancer possible, tomorrow. Or as someone else said "who the F pips someone in that situation?"
My ADHD coping mechanisms were broken by this stress combo, and I'm so depressed--more from the PIP than anything else now-- that it's rare anymore to have one day where I'm NOT crying at my computer or randomly otherwise. I wake up devastated Sunday morning that tomorow is Monday and borderline suicidal Sunday night for months now. I have been remote since well before the pandemic and am killing myself when I'm not at work trying to find another remote job (necessary for me now), so I'm also beyond burned out from the job search every day.
The other night, the phrase "killing myself" almost became literal, albeit because I was stewing about work and distracted, but this is totally destroying my mental and physical health. The PIP was supposed to end last week but my boss wouldn't give me a clear answer when I asked if I'd completed the outstanding items to her satisfaction, so I spent a chunk of time thinking I'd get bad news and focusing on my job search. Instead of caliing it done, they extended it with additional items despite my doing the things I was told to do in a previous week 1:1 to call it done. I have been pushing for them to just end the pip early (because it was so counterproductive to my ability to focus on ACTUAL work) but to no avail.....and then they extended it. I've been so miserable that I would totally take a huge pay cut for another remote job just to GTFO and yet I have had no luck with my search yet since I didn't really have bandwidth to start looking until the "after death" phase of this a few weeks ago. I have never disclosed my ADHD to anyone at work other than a colleague who is openly autistic who has been supportive and thinks disclosing might "level set" better with my manager; has anyone disclosed something like this in a difficult situation like this and had it help? Could it? The company seems like its allyship with neurodivergents is performative at best since there is no real willingness on anyone's part to respect what I need to be successful despite the million times I've mentioned neurodiversity in passing in discussions when I'm saying what I need to work best. I'm not asking for anything with a dollar value and what led to this would be hard fo r a neurotypical person! It's insanity to be punished for failing to be superhuman and then get additional time despite noted improvement because they want more than what they wanted 2 weeks ago to call this done.
At what point do you just tell them to discuss severance in a bad market? If I didn't have others to take care of I would have already!
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Please HR people, what EXACT information is given to the employer when a credit check is done?
How specific or complete is the information? Is it just the credit score or more details like the amount of outstanding debt and past due amounts? Thank you!