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High competencies poor references - get kicked out
Hi,
I have over 20 years of experience in software systems and coding and dealing with all-male teams, all-male thinking and all-male decision-making. Here's the problem:
teams don't "like" me or give me bad references so now I do not hired even if I match many job roles. How do I break the curse of not being liked? What should I do, which legal agency can I approach and say I need a special path to enter the workforce because I'm being discriminated against - and the discrimination is accepted ?
Annetta Moses
Consumer Insights and Strategy Leader
1.31k
11/18/19 at 9:05AM UTC
I agree with the comments about seeing if past clients will give you a reference or recommendation.
I want you to also think about what you can do going forward to have a mostly Male team respect your work. Think back on your career do you have any male co-workers who can provide you with an understanding of why you don't get references.
Perceptions may not be true but to change perceptions you need to understand why your male co-workers are not respecting your work.
Orlagh CostelloEngineering Manager for food manufacturing site
1.2k
11/05/19 at 1:02PM UTC
That's a tough one. I agree with the options above - see if there were any clients/ team members willing to give you a reference and look for coaching or other assistance in improving relations in work. I've worked with plenty of people I haven't particularly liked, but that wouldn't stop me giving them a fair reference... But there are ways to work with people that help eliminate those issues.
LEANNE TOBIASInvestment real estate/sustainability
4.09k
11/02/19 at 10:45PM UTC (Edited)
I am sorry that you have encountered these difficulties.
I agree with Jackie Ruka’s advice (above) that it would be helpful to you to reach out to people with whom you have had good relationships to get professional references. These can be colleagues, clients or business partners with whom you have collaborated.
Get 2-4 references for your work and you should be fine on that front.
On how you can be ‘liked’ in the future: would some coaching perhaps be helpful? And might a coach be able to help you determine what environments might be best for you?
As well: if you have some friends from your prior jobs, would they be willing to help you get some perspective on how/why you fit/did not fit in certain situations and where you might work in the future?
Additionally: can your skills be used in an environment that might be more congenial to you in the future? Are there companies in your industry with more diverse work teams? Could your skills be used in a school system, a university or in a non-profit or government organization?
Finally: are there some professional associations for your industry that you might join, an alumni organization for your college or university, or some community organizations that might benefit from your skills? This might help you to make professional connections in a more relaxed and receptive setting.
Anonymous
11/05/19 at 4:38PM UTC
Job security and ensuring bonus money did not come my way and a dwindling budget were realities; people who did not "fit" in were basically people who were new. So many of the suggestions do not apply - I simply experienced the reality of recession-driven decisions in hiring and firing.
Further, I discovered that what is rewarded in Academia and schools and universities - intelligence, working hard, solving problems - is viewed with suspicion and keen observation in the jobplace. The hardworking jobber is viewed as competition - especially for performance review time and negative reviews are given so that other people get promotions, bonuses and salary increases.
How can toxic culture and practices be tackled by one employee ?
LEANNE TOBIASInvestment real estate/sustainability
4.09k
11/05/19 at 6:47PM UTC (Edited)
These very difficult questions.
As American employment law is now written, you cannot pursue legal action unless you were discriminated against due to race, gender, religion, ethnicity or age. And if you do sue
successfully, will the payout be sufficient to compensate for the emotional wear and tear and possible reputational damage?
No, you can’t sue just b/c you were disliked, treated unfairly or distrusted because you were regarded as competition by your colleagues unless you can prove actionable discrimination (ie race, gender, religion, ethnicity, age.)
So where does that leave you? Looking for a situation that is a better fit for your talents and personality.
I understand your frustration and anger, as I’ve encountered some similar situations myself.
Anonymous
11/06/19 at 5:52PM UTC
I think that nails it; being discriminated for anything other than the recognized categories is accepted - when it shouldn't. Why? Because we're in the 21st century, because we're in globalization and the laws need to change - businesses need to change.
To not change and accept these negative systems is to fall behind the rest of the world.
Lastly, I think suing does not solve the problem of having antiquated laws and falling behind other countries in business practices. Discrimination should not happen - its not a healthy cultural force and its not what educated societies practice.
Jackie RukaProfessionalHappyologist Thrive in your purpose.
2.07k
11/02/19 at 3:54PM UTC
Is their a client or project you worked in where you could get a written recommendation or testimonial. Also , LinkedIn is helpful to connect with people you communicated with in your role to endorse you. Just ask.
Anonymous
11/05/19 at 4:43PM UTC
workers are not allowed to interface directly with clients or to reveal clients outside of the company. I was working on a high-security business critical project
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