For Real: The No. 1 Strategy You Need to Start Loving Yourself More :)
The idea of spreading kindness around like it’s confetti is a popular one these days! And why shouldn’t it be? Making someone else’s day better is a good thing! :)
So why, then, isn’t the practice of treating ourselves more kindly a bigger deal? Sure, Google will supply you with over 6 million self-care activities in one simple search. But after fizzling that rainbow bath bomb while letting Pink tell you that you’re effin’ perfect, you’re back in your same routine the next day, cursing at yourself for spilling coffee on your shirt. So instead of creating one more bath-bomb-based listicle, I polled some followers about the way that they talked to themselves, and our mean mental mantras are so ingrained in our brains that it’s often hard to see them for what they truly are: rude word choices.
What I mean is, we have a choice in how we talk to ourselves just like we do when we’re talking to other people.
Here's a legit thing I’ve told myself:
> You’re a stupid, ugly cow, how could anyone love you.
> Nobody would even miss you, so you might as well just do it.
There’s so much hate in those words! And none of it is true. None of it! And you deserve to learn how to change your mental words! (You do! You so, so do!)
Other real talk I’ve leveled at myself:
> Okay seriously, you’re spiraling out, and you've gotta get it together.
> You’re being destructive, lock it down because you know it'll only get worse.
Or like when I was running late on my way to meet my husband for our engagement photo sesh— I made a wrong turn and my GPS totally lost all perspective, and I had to squelch thoughts like you’re so freaking stupid! Can’t you even get to your own engagement photo shoot on time?? and replace them with:
> Okay, okay, hang on. Stop being negative. That’ll only make you cry and you’ll be so much happier when you’re not a mucous-y hot mess for your photos. Plus you’re totally a positive person, so thinking about yourself positively is easy! Like, remember how bomb your mascara looks today?
There’s always a point in any situation, right after we’ve said the first rude comment to ourselves, where we can get into the habit of calling ourselves out for our own negativity. And I’m intentional about calling this a habit, because it won’t come naturally to you at first. It’ll feel forced, and you won’t even want to believe it. But if you’re really dedicated to changing the way you treat yourself— you’ll repeat it. And you’ll continue to say nice things to yourself until your body calms down and you can move on.
Seriously, sweet friend, start calling yourself out for being rude to your own darn beautiful self! You have to start listening to your own thoughts. And this’ll be kind of hard at first because we’ve been used to just letting ourselves ramble on about how much we hate those damn skinny jeans because they give us a huge effing muffin top because we ate too many pumpkin bars at Thanksgiving. To us, these are normal thoughts, and now we have to start listening for them. And replacing them them with a simple, powerful "Whoa, you decided to stop talking to yourself like that. Stop it."
That's where it starts. There's so much more to the world of positive self-talk, but it allllll starts here. With listening and labelling your own negativity.
You can so, SO do this!
I believe in you!
Are you ready to start? (Heck yes!)
Here are some self-talk & positivity resources I'm into right now:
This book on mindset for great education on how to grow your current mindset. (https://tinyurl.com/rwnf399)
This pdf guide to positive self- talk that's got actual, legit how-to's. ( http://braveheartopenmind.com/sign-up-to-get-a-free-pdf-of-kaylas-guide-to-positive-self-talk )
This yoga channel for positive, loving exercise. (https://www.youtube.com/user/yogawithadriene )
This aerobics video for fun, stress-free, low-impact cardio (It's not high video quality, but it's cute!) (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvRVZxOmU6w&t=1s)
This meditation for mindfulness and self-care. ( http://braveheartopenmind.com/7-minute-self-love-meditation )
This self-confidence reflection exercise for highlighting your positive points and strengths. ( http://braveheartopenmind.com/2019/09/self-confidence-reflection-exercise )
This guide to writing strong self-affirmations for positive self-talk ( http://braveheartopenmind.com/2019/10/build-your-own-affirmations )