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Anonymous
03/11/19 at 6:24PM UTC
in
Other Stuff

LinkedIn "Chatterer"

I accepted a LinkedIn request thinking it was a gentleman that retired from a previous company. It turns out to be someone I don't know; I can only tell he has silver/white hair from his picture. While he's not trying to pick me up, he sends me messages apparently just because he's lonely. Because he's polite, I don't want to just remove him as a connection, but neither do I have the time or inclination to chat with him several times a day. I've already mentioned that I'm running six projects and working 50+ hours a week. Does anyone have a kind message that will help me help him without hurting him? Do you think he would be offended if I gave him links to senior chat rooms?

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Tory Fedel
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270
Talent Curator and Advocate for Gender Equity
03/21/19 at 12:19AM UTC
This has happened to me on multiple occasions, I disconnect from people who do this. It is a professional network, not a chat room. I know it sounds drastic, but I feel empowered to manage my network and it is clear on my profile why I am there.
Anonymous
03/19/19 at 1:25PM UTC
Why do we (women) feel the need to make excuses for another's behavior towards us? His messages were inappropriate, tell him to stop contacting you and remove the connection. Do not ever think about it again. You are not responsible for his feelings about it.
Anonymous
03/18/19 at 2:08PM UTC
Thank you, Alyson. I used your phrasing this morning when I found a LinkedIn message from him asking me how I slept and removed him as a connection.
Alyson Garrido, Career Coach
star-svg
447
Job Search and Career Advancement
03/14/19 at 8PM UTC
This is a tricky one! If someone reaches out to me for coaching, and mentions other concerns, I always try to provide resources around their other concerns, so I would probably send resources if they are available. I wouldn't assume that one particular option is best (senior chat rooms) if he has not mentioned that as a specific concern. I like JDaisy's idea of a polite note and delete. You could be polite and direct, too. That way you don't have to consider if he's seeing your LI activity. Something like 'Thank you for your connection request, Jim. I understand how you feel. I use LinkedIn for professional networking purposes and I'm not comfortable continuing with this personal direction since we don't know each other. I'm wishing you all the best.'
Anonymous
03/12/19 at 1:41PM UTC
Thanks everyone!
Anonymous
03/12/19 at 12:45AM UTC
Wow, this is really bizarre but at least its not someone harassing you. I agree that you can simply delete his connection (pretty sure the recipient doesn't get any kind of notification, thank goodness). I've had to do it once or twice myself though never for this kind of reason...
Anonymous
03/11/19 at 8:06PM UTC
You have no obligation to him! His words may be polite, but his behavior is subtly invasive - the fact that he's not respecting boundaries is not a good sign. I'd agree with JDaisy that a polite (but clear) message followed by a disconnect is a good call. I'd say the message is optional.
Paula R. Joseph
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1.03k
Source/Manage/Coach/Scale High Performance Teams
03/11/19 at 7:29PM UTC
I'm also very cautious about social media connections, so I understand. And I appreciate you are trying to do this gently; we need more of that in the world. How about something like, "Hi John, thanks for the connection but I'll be stepping back from LinkedIn for awhile due to my higher priority projects and work/life balance. I wish you the best in your career." Then delete his connection. I wouldn't send him senior chat rooms; that's a bit too personal. Good Luck!
MomLife
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693
Career mom
03/11/19 at 8:17PM UTC
^^^ Yes! Great message. Short and concise.

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