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Weird interview experience
I just got home from a job interview and I am pretty disappointed. I was interviewing for what I thought was my dream job; I'm really excited about the company and the job description. But the person who interviewed me -- who would be my boss -- was really abrasive. I know it may be a mistake to judge after meeting someone just once, but I really have a hard time envisioning work with/reporting to this person. Anyone else ever experienced something like this? advice??!
LisaDLisaDanforth
35
01/22/19 at 11:01PM UTC
What was the environment like around the office? This would be a pretty clear telltale sign of the energy you'd be in each day. I agree with Alyson above, always trust your gut. The only times I've been disappointed with big decisions like these if I overthink things and don't go with my gut.
Alyson Garrido, Career CoachJob Search and Career Advancement
447
01/22/19 at 10:01PM UTC
Two things spring to mind, Genevieve. First, always trust your gut. If you're getting a bad feeling from the interviewer that's a red flag. Of course, they might be having a bad day. If so, it's worth it to chat again or asking some more questions. The other possibility is that the abrasive tactics were to test your grace under pressure and customer service skills. Typically if the interview is a test, though, you'll be told afterward.
Lady Fairygodboss 93
70
01/08/19 at 10:18PM UTC
Once I had an interview with a manager. It went well, then I was going to meet the owner. As she was looking over my application, she asked who my "In Case of Emergency" was - my brother? I said no, he's my boyfriend (we lived together at the time, and later got married). The owner commented that she "didn't like that", an unmarried couple living together. Later I called the agency that sent me and told her about the owner's comment. She informed me that the company did want to hire me, but I turned them down anyway. The agent had to call the owner and inform her that what she asked me and the comment she made was against federal law, and that she could no longer represent them. They were shocked. So glad I didn't take that job.
Changemaker839930
21
12/25/18 at 9:38AM UTC
Hi. 1. the interviewer was abrasive ? You failed to describe, so perhaps its your perspective; perhaps its YOU who are too sensitive ? 2. This person is hiring. This person is there to be civil, not loving, and to weed out the applicants. Perhaps the abrasivess was you ? 3. So they were abrasive? So ? 4. Maybe, as is typical of younger applicants, you expected sugar, you got salt. 5. Did you ever consider the interviewer has to also talk to whiners and idiots- those whose parents told them everyone loves you. Not true and not they don't.
If I was so bothered , I, me, a woman person with back bone, would have politely stopped the interview , asked had I done sonething wrong, and moved on. I might have also said that perhaps this wasnt the job for me.
But then, you sat there , and whine after the fact. Fact: it doesn't matter how abrasive the other person is - you want the job and you want it interviewed your way. And maybe it was a test - to see if you could handle certain unmentioned aspects of the job? ( like , oh, abrasive customers ? You failed ).
While I agree, the job climate is as uneven as the weather, do you want the job? Can you pass " trial by fire"? And if you haven't met the boss, then WHY are you letting this guy get to You?
Your two- dimensional judgement needs a bit of expanding. It's a job. Its not Google or Amazon, so stop expecting same from other corporations. They simply want bots.
And you, may have dodged a bullet. Things,happen for a reason, and theres,something better waiting for you.
anon1502
40
12/24/18 at 8:15PM UTC
If your deedly boppers are going off, listen to them. If the person seems abrasive, they probably are. And on the flip side, a person who adopts a persona or who tests you like that in an interview is a person who likes to play games and abuse their position of power, rather than simply get the job done. It's a hard enough task to conduct a pleasant interview and get good information out of the candidate you are interviewing to see if they are a good match under normal circumstances, but someone who is throwing a "persona" into the mix is a person who likes to play with their food before they eat it. I would trust your gut feeling - and I would keep looking.
Anonymous
02/20/19 at 3:41PM UTC
This is spot-on, and I wish I could throw in an extra <3 for "deedly boppers" :D
Elizabeth Marie
1.58k
12/28/18 at 5:05PM UTC
Ditto on trusting your gut and keep looking.
Lady Farnwell
399
12/24/18 at 4:42AM UTC
Once had an interview with a person who liked to counter everything I said. She seemed very focused on finding ways to respond negatively to each comment I made, to a degree that made me wonder if I was interviewing for the team whipping girl role, with "ability to soak up boss getting her negativity out of her system without it affecting me personally" being a primary qualification.
I turned down the job because of this. Why work for such a disagreeable, difficult manager when life is so short?
I later interviewed for a different role at the same multinational. Got in. Was a very well regarded employee for 4 years, was promoted twice.
Cue the multinational ritual of the reorg.
Cue yours truly suddenly in disbelief at who her new manager was.
She was every bit as much of a disagreeable jerk (to me and to a very small handful of other strong women in the org) as I'd observed during the interview. It provided plenty of evidence that I was 100% right to turn down that role originally. Her female reports who were afraid of their shadows or "working their physical assets to succeed" shall we say, were seen as acting appropriately female and were not targeted, but business-minded and technically-minded mid-career women took arrows constantly. Within 18 months, I was written off as a failure despite having been identified as top 2% (not a typo) of division staff by two previous managers previously.
Moral: Life's too short to put up with petty games. Unless you've been unemployed for 6 months and are desperate, don't work for jerks. The latter includes those who game-play in interviews, for whatever reason they're doing it, if the game-player is your prospective manager.
Ceci
1.9k
12/28/18 at 5:01PM UTC
^^ "Don't work for jerks" - Amen.
Ladyboss709969
46
12/24/18 at 4:25AM UTC
Maya Angelou once said that when someone tells you who they are, believe them. Whether his attitude was a tactic to test you or not, you really don't want to be there. Every time I've interviewed with someone who has had me seeing red flags, the situation did not turn out well for me. Over the years, I've learned to start looking for red flags when I walk into the office, the subtle and not-so-subtle comments made during the interview, the interaction between the interviewer and other people in the office, the body language. Twice I walked into an office, and everything went smoothly and was just beautiful. However, I got a distinct gut feeling that told me NOT to accept the job. I did not. In both cases, the company had a massive layoff within a few months. The first to go? You guessed it: the new hires. Trust yourself. Trust your observations. Trust your gut instinct. Those kind of trusts never fail you.
Anonymous
12/28/18 at 5PM UTC
Love this advice!
Anonymous
12/24/18 at 3:38AM UTC
As a professional, you should feel comfortable with your reaction to someone abrasive. Unless you truly need this opportunity, I suggest listening to your instincts. Even if it's an interview tactic (agree it's a solid reason if job is sales or high-stress), why join a company that is their culture? And that is a way to test a candidate?
Head BookwormHead Bookworm
52
12/24/18 at 2:04AM UTC
To conteract all of those who tell you to run...I had a terrible phone interview with a man who would be my boss and I told the recruiters...there is no way they will offer this job to me based on that interview. For whatever reason, they still offered it, and though I knew he would be difficult, I also interviewed with another man, who was really mellow and who would be the one in the office with me, so I gave it a try. I was only there a week when the unpleasant man disappeared and was fired. So sometimes, things work out...
Anonymous
12/29/18 at 2:09AM UTC
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I also think that all interviewers are human and everyone sometimes has a bad day. So you gotta explore further rather than decide everything on the basis of a single call.
Leader362265kcisis
44
12/24/18 at 2:01AM UTC
If this person had not been the person you would be reporting to I would say see what the other interviews are like, this may have been a "test" (a poor one IMHO), but since this would be your direct report RUN like H... in the opposite direction because your dream job could easily be your worst nightmare! BTDT & because I wasn't smart enough to learn from mistakes, turned around & did it again. A friend & I interviewed for the same position later (didn't know it at the time) compared notes, both had the same kind of interview--I listened to my instincts that time, she took the job & almost didn't live to regret it, it was that bad. Learn you are your own best judge & don't let the dreams & dollar signs blind you.
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