A stay at home wife needs some freedom and money

Question

I have been a stay at home wife and mom for 15 year. Previously, I was an energetic go getter, military, serving 8 years. I perform and do stage managing/technicals at many local theaters around my area.  That's my passion and it's what I'm best at. My family has been living off of my husband's wages all this time and now I am ready to get up and get out, make my own way and money. I didn't realize how much I've missed out on and I feel intimidated. I'm not sure if I should get just a 'regular'job -you know what I mean? Or should I continue to look for employment in the field I've been working in for the past few years. I really just need the money, but getting money for doing what I love sounds so much better.  Any advice? Wait for the job I want or just grab any job I need ??‍♀️

B Thompson · Answer

I would do both.

Rose Holland · Answer

Pursue your dream. Reach out to some of the veteran organizations such as Hiring our Heroes, Corporate America Supports You and Heroes to Hired for assistance and to connect to your career field. There are also a number of Mentorship programs focused on veterans and military spouses that could help you make connections.

Along with this take advantage of a free year of LinkedIn premium at LinkedIn.com/veterans. Feel free to connect with me there and I can provide you with additional resources.

J. Harrington · Answer

Hi Liz! Military spouse here! Feel your pain. Dunno how bad you need the money, but  have you thought about volunteering in your local theater to refresh your skills and start networking again? Go from a no name to a face they see and know, when theres a job opening, who do think of? Liz! In the meantime you COULD do a part time job too while you wait for your dream job. Good luck out there!

Melissa Nicholson · Answer

Hi Liz! Have you thought of job sharing to work part-time with a partner in a job that’s typically full-time? I feel like you could go into event planning or staging corporate events easily that ties into your passion too!

Kathleen O · Answer

Hi Liz, After reading your post. I sense that you are in a vulnerable position financially, as your spouse has been the primary wage earner for 15 + - years.  Do you have an individual retirement account that has a balance close to what you spouse has?  Are you equally involved in your family's financial decisions?
I think you need to concentrate on your financial security. While your passion is in local theater work, I don't believe those jobs pay well,have good benefits, and have good job security.  I'm sure you can translate your skills (project management) towards another field that pays better.  I'm sorry if I sound blunt.  You have valuable skills and the job market is very good at the moment! 
I took time off from work for 3 years when I had my daughter, so I know the feeling of thinking your skills are not valued because you chose to stay home to raise your children.

Nancy McSharry Jensen · Answer

+1 on CalKath’s remark. Your project management and organizational skills are directly transferable to business manager or executive assistant roles. You can keep volunteering for the theater but face it - it doesn’t pay much. Also tell current and former colleagues you’re looking to get back to paid work. Then sock that money away.

HtxSmith · Answer

Do the stage management gigs pay? Is there enough work in the area to meet your needs? If not, take the work you can get and find a flexible job to supplement. Retail and food service have a lot of arts industry folks because it's easy to adjust schedules.
I worked in the theatre industry for almost two decades, so feel free to reach out if you want to bounce ideas off me.

Anonymous · Answer

Liz,
I'm right there with you! I've been looking for quite a long time now and am really frustrated. I need a job that feeds my soul, challenges me, and gives me the opportunity to learn; however, I find that it is very hard for a candidate to get the job they really want without knowing someone on the inside that will get your resume in front of the right pair of eyes. I volunteer at two different organizations and those actually do 'feed my soul'.  One of them is looking like it may transition into a paid position so that is really positive...but back to your dilemma! :-)

Others made mention of possibly taking a bridge job until you can get one you really enjoy; if you need the money, that may be the way to go. As a cancer survivor, my perspective may be a little different than most peoples'. My rude awakening taught me that we only get one life and we don't know how much time we have so I want to spend my days doing work that is meaningful to me and is uplifting. I need enough money to meet my obligations but other than that, I'd rather enjoy my work and earn a lower income than get paid really well but feel unsatisfied at the end of the day.

Good luck with your search and thank you for your service!

Crystal Rhineberger · Answer

What about thinking on what responsibilities the job you want would give you, aim for the “basic” job that would require those responsibilities? In that case you would really be shining, would also have a goal to work on (so you won’t feel stuck), and you would be bringing in income.  Later with some financial responsibilities aside you could put feelers out for the truly desired.
I commend you highly for you getting back out there

A stay at home wife needs some freedom and money

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