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How do you deal with coworkers making offensive jokes/statements?
How do you handle coworkers that make offensive jokes or statements all the time? They have made fun of a company calling the whole company and all their workers autistic, they rant about how younger generations don't have common sense (which I am way younger than them), how technology has ruined society (we work in a tech firm), they make jokes about different nationalities, genders and gender preferences, religions, political beliefs, etc feeding into all the negative stereotypes. Two coworkers in particular, one of which I have to share an office with, make it a competition on who can come up with what jokes. Most of them are told inside my shared office. I am often offended/angry about their jokes, and I really don't get along with my office mate, but I'm not sure how to handle it. It is creating a toxic work environment for me, and anyone else who has to hear it.
Any advice?
Maggie B
Business and Data Analysis Consultant
983
03/03/20 at 9:09PM UTC
I had a boss and a coworker like that once, who would go on rants about "lazy millenials" but then called me and another co-worker - both millenials - "the A-Team." We started asking questions when they'd do it. Not just "What do you mean by that," because that can come off as confrontational, but "When you say X, did you know that Y?" and treating it more like a "teachable moment." If they're not open to a dialogue, though, noise cancelling headphones and asking to sit elsewhere might be in order.
Linda Grace SolisDiversity, Equity, and Inclusion Champion
423
03/03/20 at 5:53PM UTC
If there is no anonymous reporting line for ethics violations, you can speak up!
I've been in your situation a number of times. If I were you, I would talk to the person I share an office with first, and alone. I would say something like, "Susie, I wonder if you might be able to talk to your friends about the off-color jokes they tell. I'm sure they aren't meant to be offensive, but that kind of joking makes me uncomfortable. I hope you understand where I'm coming from; after all, my *name relative/friend who is not white/differently abled/another religion/another ethnicity* is Black/autistic/Buddhist/Hispanic."
You shouldn't have to point this out, but some people just assume everyone is just like them.
Also, I know you share an office with this person, but you don't have to be friends with them. You just have to not sabotage each other!
If a one-on-one talk doesn't work, take it to HR or your diversity office if you have one.
This is hard, and I applaud you for your courage in speaking out.
Katie Henderson Ladyboss752675I am an expert in all things visual.
757
02/27/20 at 12:04AM UTC
Discrimination of protected classes is not only insensitive, it's unlawful. That being said, your coworkers may view you as a humorless stuffed shirt when you don't join in their joking around. (I've had such an experience that I wish I had handled better. ) As Zoe mentioned above, the key is "non-aggression". Breathe in and out love for your sisters and brothers, watch for the teachable moment, and cultivate patience-- this may take some time! Be wise, be kind, and good luck.
Zoe KaplanStaff Writer & Content Strategist @ Fairygodboss
8.06k
02/26/20 at 8:35PM UTC
I'm so sorry this is happening! If you're comfortable approaching them, one of my favorite tactics is "calling in instead of calling out." "Calling out" is when you simply tell someone their behavior is wrong; "Calling in" is a non-aggressive explanation of why you think their behavior is problematic. People often respond much better when you "call them in" and improve their behavior over time.
Sharon BarkeFabulous marketing and design professional
63
03/05/20 at 5:59PM UTC
That's a unique perspective I haven't heard before. I like it, @Zoe Kaplan
Anonymous
02/26/20 at 7:30PM UTC
I have found where our company has an anonymous ethics web portal and hotline. I have submitted a question to the web portal to ask if it directly violates our ethics policy.
Anonymous
02/26/20 at 6:53PM UTC
This is inexcusable. I'm sorry you've had to live through this. But please take action to make it stop and hold these people accountable.
Document what you're hearing and seeing with dates, times and quotes if possible. Then sit down with HR and present what you've observed. Explain how uncomfortable and inappropriate you feel this is. Ask for intervention and action. If it doesn't happen asap, do it again until it does.
These folks are terrible representatives of ANY company, and should be dealt with immediately.
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