Please Help

Question

Well, I got graduated 3 years back, since then I am having trouble at all of my jobs. 1st job, my manager was hitting on me and asking me to remove my DP from whatsapp/facebook. I quit from there in like 2 months. Next job was very hard to get, At first it was easy but there also my manager was not a good boss. It is not just me, he never had a team to stay for long,  in every 3 months his team gets changes. I stayed there for 4 months. I got my current job in about 6 days from leaving there. It was fresh new start, everyone was so good, manager became my very good friend, we even started travelling together in her car. Everything was going good, I was relieved that I found a perfect work environment for me. But, boom. 90 days of happiness and company lost its major project. They became poor. But I stood with them with all the hurdles and helped company to stable. I earned manager position. It was bloom. I was happy. Then my manager's husband lost his job at microsoft and he joined, I knew he was threat to my position but I looked on the positive side in learning from his experience. After him, company's atmosphere changed, I never saw my manager working, her husband is a chainsmoker, she use to smoke one in whole day but now she is either leaving for home early because they have 'daru party'  or smoking cigarettes outside. My boss is working so damn hard every day-night. He bosses around my boss. I don't understand what is happening. They both aren't doing anything. He is here since march 2019, we got no new projects. Instead lost 6 that I got to the company.  & Now he is analyzing my performance and he says I haven't been worthy. I even had my own dream project that was my idea and I was working on it since college but I need resources so I gave my project to the company in 2017. He suddenly took all the access of my project from me and shut it down without even letting me know, that also when I was on leave. I used to love this company, I am so depressed I am even started to think that I am not meant for jobs. It's so confusing. He has asked to submit a report, and I am here writing an essay instead of it. I am loosing my optimism and my mind and I  don't know what should I do. Please help.

Patti · Answer

That is extremely frustrating. And irritating. Start a job hunt because it is easier to find a job when you have a job. Cliche but true. When you are asked why you are leaving tell them that you have done all you can there, and feel it is time to move in another direction. Good luck.

Erin Howard-Reid · Answer

This is absolutely heart-wrenching. I am so sorry you're going through this. I've been in your shoes and it's so, so difficult.

However, it does sound like you have one heck of a resume after just three years out of college. You brought in at least six projects to this company - and if you found an employer with more resources who knows what you could accomplish - you would be unstoppable!

My advice, and you can take it or leave it, is this: Take care of your wellness ASAP. As you begin updating your resume and applying for new jobs, you need to be your normal, optimistic and awesome self. I know this situation is impossible, but you owe it to yourself to get out of there - and that means being able to put yourself in the best possible light during your job hunt.

Ann Schulte · Answer

I heartily agree with the previous comments, and add this: try to dissect what you clues you may missed in the interview process.

Are there common themes in what you were seeking, what you found, and how it ended up? And being honest with yourself, what mistakes did you make? Did you compromise, oversell, want a job so badly that you contorted yourself to fit?

This reflection is only for yourself, only so that you can learn from these experiences rather than reliving them.

LEANNE TOBIAS · Answer

I agree with others that it is a good idea for you to look for a new job, and that you need to take great care of yourself and recover your optimism.

What I am reading in your letter is that you were promoted to management and that you brought 6 projects to your company, including one that you created.  That is a superb record— focus on these accomplishments to find your next job!

A few additional suggestions:
 - You might not want to put your first 2 jobs on your resume because they were so brief.  
- Do not mention your unhappiness with your current job or your issues with your boss’s husband.  Focus on your achievements, your promotion and your strong working relationship with your boss. 
-As another commenter suggested, say that you want to move on because you are looking for new challenges and growth.
-I have adopted a life rule that I created when I was stuck in a toxic organization: “The worse the day, the better the evening.”  Don’t bring your toxic workplace home with you. Use your precious time at home to have fun and renew yourself.   Switch your attention to activities and people who uplift and affirm you!

Emily Phelan · Answer

Completely agree with A.N.! I'll also give you one little 'trick' I always use when interviewing. When asked what my biggest weakness is, I say something like 'I can't leave something partially done. Just because the clock hits 5:00 doesn't mean I can get up and leave. I need to leave my work in a manner that sets me up for success the next day, so if it means staying an extra 30 minutes, so be it.' I have gotten a lot of surprised reactions from that. It makes my 'weakness' a strength and lets the employer know I am dedicated to the work I do, I'm not just there to punch a clock. It sounds like you have some really great potential to be an amazing employee. You need to go into interviews with confidence and SELL YOURSELF for the great employee ou are. Best of luck to you!!!

scorpio229 · Answer

What kind of jobs do you habitually seem to be 'stumbling in' on? Are many of them  'basement' start-ups, with no real business plan or ethics guiding them? Are you finding yourself working 10 hour days and still feeling unaccomplished?  Perhaps you need to research your companies better and inquire to see if you would even fit in there and be happy. Usually placements that could be fronts for unethical establishments may tend to hire people who may  be unethical themselves. Some may even have asked themselves, ' How did a kid like you end up working in a place like this?' Do you have self-esteem issues, and you are afraid to apply to some of the places that you really desire to be employed with? Take care of yourself and start applying to more reputable companies and deal less with these fly-by-night flaky 'fronts'! Happy searching!

Anonymous · Answer

What was your area of study in school? Reading your post, you may want to brush up on written communication skills. I am sorry if this sounds rude, but I am trying to help. A good add-in for Microsoft Word is called Word Rake.

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