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Anonymous

06/17/19 at 8:17PM UTC

Diversity & Inclusion

When I asked for a promotion, I was told by my boss that I act “too European” to be promoted

I work for a Fortune 100 company. I’m really not a fan of the culture of our department and I would have loved to leave for a company with easier people to work with, but I have to wait for the right opportunity to come. With one of my colleagues in a higher position retiring, I have asked my boss if she would consider me for the promotion rather than hire from outside. I was said “NO”. She said that I’m technically qualified, but I act “too European”! By “acting European” she meat that I’m direct and blunt in how I communicate and I need to work on this before I can get promoted. I would like to point out that since I started working at this company four years ago I have been receiving “exceeding expectations” performance ratings. I know from the feedback that my staff like working with me and other departments I work with have expressed the same. Should I find a company where I can fit in better or do I need to work on my “European” behavior. I grew up in Europe, so I am European.

Join the conversation...

Bosslady143126

06/28/19 at 8:16PM UTC

Yes- it is a form of discrimination frequently used against women and falls under the discrimination type known as “performance bias”. There’s a set of articles at Lean In that describe this.

Anonymous

06/25/19 at 6:10AM UTC

I understand protected class. What I'm asking is if anyone views it as a form of discrimination as discrimination can and does exist outside of legal boundaries.

Anonymous

06/24/19 at 6:38AM UTC

I'm curious. It's noted that this is discriminatory based on the way it was described. What if her boss simply said that she was too direct? Would you define it as discriminatory then? I ask because I believe this is a form of discrimination that has damaged a lot of reputations.

JTepper

108

Manage revenue and commissions for my division.

06/24/19 at 11:25PM UTC

Unfortunately, being direct isn’t a protected class under the law. However, race and ethnicity are, so her boss was out of line using that language.

SophieG

226

06/21/19 at 7:38AM UTC

Hi, I think there are too angles here... 1) yes, your boss has scored a massive fail saying you are too European. Is that too Danish, Spanish, Greek, or maybe a bit British (we are still in after all.. just)? Suffice to say you need another conversation with them about what exactly does that mean as that feedback is neither helpful nor constructive, and indeed does stray into bias etc territory. [and do you want that fight?] 2) Performance does not equal potential. You could be brilliant at your current job but still not be demonstrating qualities required for the next role up. Maybe some of these are influencing abilities, and your boss is wondering how on earth you are going to navigate that group of stakeholders with your current approach. Honestly I currently don't know what that means - 'too European'. Arguing the toss, too much passion/ too little, too direct/ too indirect? You have an opportunity to turn this into a massive learning experience. Or you could leave, which may also be the right thing to do if your boss' view of being too European means e.g. you don't have a Harvard degree and grew up in Connecticut, because you cannot do something about that. Best wishes

Lauren Wong

06/19/19 at 10:29PM UTC

Reminds me of this article: https://www.fastcompany.com/40537073/what-happened-when-i-stopped-trying-to-out-man-the-men-i-work-with I have gotten the same feedback, and have worked on adjusting my communication style. However this has been in situations where I am with a new boss, new team. For you, I'd question and dig in on why has this feedback not come up previously? Is it that this is a newer trait for you? Is it that you're exceeding expectations for your current role but need to work on XYZ to move into a different role? Has it been communicated but not as clearly in past performance reviews? Either way, make sure you're always on the lookout for the best place for you to be yourself and to grow your career!

HILYEDUCATED

285

I AM A GOOD WOMAN

06/19/19 at 7:58PM UTC

Sounds a little discrimatory to me based on heritage. This is first time that I heard of someone not being considered because of the way they "sound". You have all credentials, well liked in the departments you work with, your immediate co-workers enjoy working with you, but to your to your boss you "sound" European" Well, perhaps in reality she "sounds" a little jealous and is playing a little strong arm. Is there anyway to go over your boss, Your record should do the speaking no just your boss.

IntentionGirl314658

06/19/19 at 6:36PM UTC

Your boss just full on broke the law. It’s basic discrimination based on national origin and it’s illegal. Talk to a labor attorney ASAP. She can’t legally say “I’m not promoting you because you’re too European anymore than she could legally say “I’m not promoting you because you’re Hispanic” to someone who is Hispanic. You’ve been given the keys to the city, my dear.

Bosslady143126

06/28/19 at 8:08PM UTC

Yes! This is illegal discrimination based on national origin. Your employer broke the law. First realize that HR will not help you. They are there to help the company make problems go away at the least expense. That often includes using intimidation techniques to get you to just quit. However you must show with a paper trail that you attempted to resolve the issue with the company before finally resorting to legal action. Doing that means reporting the incident to HR and working with them through their “investigation” and “resolution” attempts no matter how false. Document every conversation from now on, preferably in writing either in regular forms you use to check in/report status to your boss or in email summary following each verbal conversation. Consult with an employment law attorney ASAP. Be careful to find one with a strong track record of representing employees not employers, arguing cases in court, and winning! You will need to report this through the company’s official channels and when you do be prepared for retaliation. It’s the most common way employers push employees out of the door without remediation. They’ll also try to manipulate you into contradicting your story or to “admit” that you aren’t really being discriminated against. Retaliation for reporting discrimination is considered a separate case. There are strict time lines for taking action with the eeoc. You must file your case within 1 year of recognizing that you’ve been discriminated against. The most common resolution to these cases is an attorney will help you negotiate a separation package from your employer in exchange for not taking legal action against them. The potential $ amount will vary depending on your actual damages, if they retaliate (in which case you will be due pain and suffering damages), local & state laws, your employment agreement (for example whether you signed a pre-employment arbitration agreement), and how badly the company wants to keep you quiet (these agreements almost always include some form of mutual gag order). Your attorney’s negotiating position is higher if you are still working for the company. Resist the urge to just quit. Also resist the urge to let them have it verbally. You must remain profession and consistently hold to your position that you are asking for fair and legal treatment. Also begin to network with other employees to find others who have experienced discrimination, past or present, from the company. The more witnesses you can gather to support that discrimination is a systemic issue in the company (not just your boss), the stronger case you have. Other victims may be unwilling to cooperate but if you know their stories you can brief your attorney who can, if needed, depose the right people to get the story out even with a victim who is too scared to testify. Good luck and stay strong! Your fight for fair treatment is not only for yourself, but it is for all employees. We all deserve deserve fair pay, opportunity, and employers who follow the rule of law.

Jeannie1!

06/19/19 at 4:30PM UTC

I have been told that I was direct. The same is not said the male employees. I will not let that hinder my work, role, or any potential future applications. I work on goals successfully. Go for it!

Keri Wilson

792

Business Excellence Consultant

06/19/19 at 4:08PM UTC

A lot of really good points here. First, I want to say, I'm sorry you're going through this. Work should be fun and challenging and interesting, and this type of experience makes it feel icky. Who wants to feel icky 40+ hours a week? I've been in 3 situations where bosses gave me, what I would consider "personal", not performance related, feedback, and had no examples to back it up. Always get examples. "That's interesting feedback, can you let me know the next time you see me do it?". With that said - in no situation, did my bosses ever let me know, or end up giving me an example, and in all three situations I either left or was RIF'd. So there's that. We like to believe we're all climbing the corporate ladder because we're awesome at our jobs and our management values our value. In reality, people have likes and dislikes. You can "rub someone the wrong way" and if she/he has any power, that can be the end for you. It's not fair. It's not always a "legally covered act of discrimination". It's always an opportunity to take a look and see if you want to change anything. You don't have to. You may not have enough information to change anything - and you may not get anything useful if you ask. Work is a two way street - hell, it's a multi-lane highway - and we're all out there driving. Some follow the rules, some have road rage, some take an exit and go another route.