Smart Shaming

Question

Good Morning! I got to thinking about something last night and wondered what my tech women colleagues think! I came to my current position at a tech start up after a 20+ year career in nursing, mostly in critical care/neuro trauma. I was considered an expert. I considered myself an expert in my nursing role. When I started at my current company, I knew nothing. I used to walk around with handwritten notes on the palms of my hands to remind me what ATS stood for. In a way it was freeing because I could ask a lot of questions and never feel stupid. I wasn't expected to know much. But, fast forward almost four years, and I have spent days, nights and weekends learning everything I can about my industry. I have become really good at my job. My question now....will  I always be considered a non-tech person? Because I didn't start in tech ? Because I haven't earned it? My sense is that there are people who will always consider me 'less then'- My sense is that there are plenty of people who have a healthy  and respectful working relationship with me, but that there are others that take great pleasure in pointing out to me that 'you just don't get it'  or worse, withold information from me because they feel keeping that understanding from me shifts the power position- Would love to hear ideas about how you've dealt with a similar situation! Thanks All.

Tatiana · Answer

Ehhh, I think you've more than put your pound of sweat in and at the end of the day, people will always be annoying about something. If it isn't where you went to college, it'll be about your working history. I think the only way to deal with it is to keep the blinders on and just do what you do. Be the best you can be and leave what other people think out of the equation. Some people want to be exclusionary no matter what, and it's not your job to convince them otherwise. Save the energy and time and pour it into your own work!

Lady Pele · Answer

My VP didn't start in this industry, but she has become very savvy with technical details.  The formal education only sets you up to learn, but technology changes so quickly, everyone is always learning something.  I'm glad that you're being supported by many.  The few that don't can either be ignored or confronted.

There is no reason to tolerate condescending remarks like 'you just don't get it'.  I would be tempted to respond 'Don't worry about it.  If you don't think you can explain it to me, I'll ask (insert their boss' name) for help'.

Withholding information is even worse, because that's deliberate sabotage and can impact the project's/department's/company's results.  That needs to be addressed and stopped every time it occurs.

I'm impressed that you were willing and able to re-create yourself and your career path.  Congratulations!

Anonymous · Answer

It sounds like the haters are likely intimidated or self-conscious so they're targeting someone that is not like them. I've experienced this in tech and other industries and it always ends the same: their poor behavior will catch-up to them.

I recommend being open with your HR rep and seeking guidance there. That way, these actions are not only documented, but you can get some helpful tactics for handing these situations. Sounds like you're killing it so congratulations!

Six Figure Salary Coach · Answer

Hey Nicole! In your role, are you directly 'coding' (sorry, not sure if that's the right term here) or are you more of a project manager? What's your role in relation to the operations itself.

I have had a similar experience throughout my career. Not in technology but in hazardous waste management. I work with brilliant people! People with P. Eng, Masters, and high-level science and toxicology degrees. Brilliant people!! I have a business degree..... So not much chemistry and Science Background. Like yourself, I have done a lot of work to try and educate myself on the science, or processes, etc. While I'm not the one out in the field or facility doing the work, I do have enough understanding to talk intelligently about our business. But I definitely always have had a and insecurity about not having that detailed chemical background.

However, I can truly say it has not held me back in my career. Sometimes I feel like it is my own insecurity that has held me back. I've been in the industry for over 10 years and I'm far from an expert, but I know how the business as run and have positioned myself accordingly!

I think what you have overcome to be successful in this industry will continue to serve you well! Your work ethic and desire to learn is admirable. Sometimes from the outside looking in will give you a better Vantage Point. Even though I am nowhere near as smart as my co-workers (from a chemistry perspective) , I've been able to ask 'dumb questions' to provoke thoughts to give them innovative solutions.

People will always try to tear others down out of insecurity! Trust yourself, your work ethic, and your instincts! Learn who the people are that are your allies and use them to help you in the workplace.

IntentionGirl463460 · Answer

I have political science background and have been doing t3ch project / product management for +20yeaes.

There may be a “you don’t get it element” and there maybe a women element and there may be a competition element - you can’t control any of that :) Build good relationships, connect with a few mentors - in and out of your group and company.

Here’s a book you may like. https://www.amazon.com/Cultivate-Winning-Relationships-Morag-Barrett-ebook/dp/B019ZVI5I8/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1

And as an executive woman engineer mentor told me once - “you’re technical enough”

Deep breath, shoulders back, keep being amazing ???

GlickGe · Answer

I couldn't agree more with those who have said we're always learning.  Any job, any industry, requires constant learning and development.  Avoiding being curious or asking questions would be a mistake.  When someone says, 'you just don't get it,' why not ask, 'how am I not getting it?' Open the door for a conversation and challenge the notion that you couldn't 'ever' get it if they could provide some time 1:1 to discuss.  Brené Brown wrote an excellent book called, 'Dare to Lead' and this may offer you some encouragement and perspective.

KnowBetter_DoBetter_BeBetter · Answer

Simply put and to the point of your question: you’ll always have haters and supporters. all you can do is recognize who’s for you and embrace them;  ignore those who are against and continue to grow and thrive... clearly you’re more than capable, so that label of not being tech enough is just a way to make themselves feel exclusive and better than. But their need for that label  is merely a reflection of their insecurity in  your presence. Keep excelling. You got this and remember haters are gonna hate.  It’s not you, it’s them.

Nicole McKeon · Answer

thanks- and I probably wouldn't go as far as to label anyone I work with as a hater- I think it may just be a culture that has inadvertently developed. Thanks for your warm words.

Maggie B · Answer

I work in IT as a Business Analyst with a degree in English.  You're more technical than most out there, and there's no need for you to be as technical as the developers.  Know who you are and what you add to the organization, and if any questions come up? Remind them.

Kim LeBiavant · Answer

Thanks for posting this Nicole!  I am an NP taking a career pivot into tech and having a serious case of imposter syndrome.  I feel like I also spent the past 20 years learning medical acronyms and now I have to learn a whole new set of them!  I have been exploring on-line learning tools to try to gain more knowledge of coding and systems because I feel like it will help me not only get the knowledge I need but also the credibility.   But maybe that is just my old mind set I had while working in medicine, where we love to have a string of lots of letters after our name to give ourselves credibility.   In reality my hard earned experience building clinics and patient's trust gave me credibility.  
What I see form my friends who have built themselves credibility in the tech industry, both in technical and non-technical roles is that they have worked hard  too have earned their credibility in that role.  They take risks, contribute to teams that build products and drive innovation within their company, sometimes fail and sometimes succeed over the course of many years.  
Remember that building credibility takes TIME.    
You could also look at that snarky remark as a que that maybe you should seek out more technical knowledge.

Smart Shaming

You're invited.

See what women are sharing on Fairygodboss.