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I’m in debt and engaged but I don’t want our money differences to be an issue later on.
My only debt is in student loans but the number is high. Between undergrad and masters, $80,000 in debt. I now have a very stable, well-paid job but it’s going to take years for me to pay off and I don’t want my to-be spouse to feel that burden. Has anyone been here and how do you deal?
Alison
Dismantling the patriarchy - one bro at a time
684
04/01/19 at 7:02PM UTC
Great advice, Toni!
Anonymous
04/01/19 at 6:49PM UTC
My partner had 6-figure debt that I didn't know about until about a year into the relationship. It definitely scared me but you sound like you have it under control. My partner didn't know exact numbers and didn't have a plan until I sat down with him and we made an excel sheet together. Once we had the hard numbers, I was totally scared but knowing where he stood and making a plan really helped me wrap my head around it.
Toni B.Career Service Professional
255
03/29/19 at 4:33PM UTC
First off... congratulations!
Now... I'm not married or engaged but have been with the same person for over a decade. I also have a lot of student loans. The debt doesn't have to be a burden to either of you.
Before getting married you should have several conversations about finances and just as many after you've gotten married. Does your fiance know how much debt you're in? How do they feel about it? Do you have a plan to pay it down? Do they agree with said plan?
The most important thing is that you both are on the same financial page and try to maintain that. Communication is key and being comfortable talking about it. The debt won't go away magically (even if we want it to).
Create a plan and stick to it. You both will be good.
I know this is the money section but I love weddings! When's the big day?
Julez
986
04/01/19 at 5:26PM UTC
I'm with Toni! Keeping communication open by talking about your debt before and figuring out a long/short-term budgeting strategy before might help keep you both on the same page. Congrats on the engagement and best of luck!
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