How did you know you were ready to be a parent?

Question

I'm about to turn 28 and my baby fever has been nonstop recently. I just got a great job (but we didn't necessarily work out maternity leave) and am not wondering - what happens if I'm more ready to be a mom than I thought? Do I give up my career? HELPPP

Natasha Nurse · Answer

Great question. It is probably something you know in your gut but everything is negotiable. If you want a baby, you should work on taking steps to make that happen and when you need to negotiate things at work you will. Never put your life on hold for a job :)

alfredo27 · Answer

DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR CAREER.

Crystal Rhineberger · Answer

Instead of “giving up” the beloved career, can you change direction to slow it down a bit? Give you time to plan for babyhood, toddlerhood, and the neat child gets older change (plenty of giggles there! Promise).
Can you prepare for a career pause? (Throw some finances aside, keep up with the current requirements while thinking on training you might need in the future, and mayb a slight mentorship to get back onto deep waters again)
Have you discussed options with your mate? Full disclosure here is a great policy.
Stating to your employer that you may have divided attentions is never a bad thing! Having a child and career and success are all possible at one time. Just be aware of how high you set the bar

Anonymous · Answer

I had been on the fence for a while [about babies] and work in a job where there isn't much growth. I think Ietting go of the 'ifs' and 'what's this going to mean to my job / life' to take this step and just jumping in really helped. It's all about when you feel more ready than not and that's different for anyone. I had a long time to myself/with my husband, looking for other work and trying move into a different job, then in the end it was better for me to just be ok with where I am career-wise and start a family. If you feel in your gut it's right, just go for it!

JB09718 · Answer

I felt the same way and it’s difficult to try and figure all this out in advance. I wound up working for two months after i returned from maternity leave and it was SO hard. I put my career on pause and stay home with my little guy full time now. I don’t have any regrets and would make that same choices again. Everyone is different though, you won’t  know what’s right for your family until you’ve tried it.

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think you need to give up your career at all. You can always take some time off or slow down in your career pathing. Though keep in mind that this may impact your career trajectory. Something to think about if that's important to you right now. There are groups (some on Fairygodboss) for working moms, moms returning to work after time off, or stay/work-at-home moms that might be worth exploring to learn more about others' experiences. Nevertheless, there are a lot of options and resources available to make a plan before you start your family.

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