Princess 'Teammate'

Question

A peer on my small team learned I was making more money than her so she demanded to make the same... So now she does and she works 25 hours a week and has probably half to two thirds the responsibility I have.  She is really good at saying no and it is apparent our boss can be controlled by her. I am very resentful about this situation. How do I bring this up with my boss who knows I am pregnant and knows I won't leave because of that? TIA

Jennifer A · Answer

My first question is are both of you hourly non-exempt employees or are you both salaried and exempt.  I ask because for hourly employees, you are correct - she now makes the same hourly wage but if she is working 25 hours a week, she isn't getting paid the same as your are as a full time employee.  Under 30 hours and she might not be getting benefits and as such your boss is paying her just a little more to compensate.

If you are both exempt employees and she is sitting there for 40 hours but only working 25 - well then I say this is a different story.   First, look at both of your job descriptions and make sure that you aren't taking on more than you should.  If you are, you might need to learn to say no a little more - especially with your bundle of joy on the way.  Take a page from her book and take care of yourself more.

If that's not the case, I would keep being a high performing employee and keep highlighting my own performance goals and how I hit them.  Let her sink or swim on her own.  Unless her work is flowing onto your desk.  In that case, you might have to talk to your boss about appropriate performance standards for the both of you for the good of the department.  Concrete things like we have to produce X in Y amount of time.  This way your boss will see your excellence and the lack of performance on her part.

Last, I'm going to bring up a slightly sensitive item that happened to me with my pregnancies.  I'm not saying this is happening to you, merely pointing out that it was something I had to really watch out for.  With my first child, I was Miss Merry Sunshine.  Nothing and no one could bring me down.  My second, well that was another ball of wax - I was 'irritated' for 8.5 months and felt like everything rubbed me the wrong way.  I wanted that child with every piece of my being but the hormones...well let's just say that having the male hormones in my body was a difficult time in my mental life.  I put this out there as a reminder that pregnancy is not just about our bodies but also about the hormones that affect our mood and well being.  In my case, they mucked me up good!  I was lucky that a good friend who worked with me told me what was going on and I was able to listen and hear what she was saying. 
 She also helped me hang on by my fingernails until my precious baby was born.   I guess what I am saying is if there is someone you really trust in your organization, you might want to get their opinion to make sure hormones aren't mucking with you.  Even if they aren't, these people can help you practice your approach for speaking with your boss and make sure no one can accuse you of 'over reacting' to ensure you come off as the competent professional you are.

LEANNE TOBIAS · Answer

Check out similar jobs on Salary.com to see if your earnings are market rate.  If they are, I’d probably forget the whole issue.

If you are underpaid, I’d suggest collecting market information, combining it with information on how you’ve been adding value for your employer, and discussing a raise with you boss based solely on the value that you bring.

Comparing yourself to your co-worker is just not a good approach.

Taltheas · Answer

Thanks for your efforts in replying. Unfortunately, I was looking for more goal-oriented and data driven ideas focused on comparing responsibilities - if she 'earned' the pay, her share of work should be equitable. I connected with someone in my network on this subject and she suggested a data driven approach - ask to compare responsibility lists, which is what I am going to do. I also found allies on my team to back me up with our boss.

My background started in a male-oriented industry and I hope some of you reconsider your relationship-oriented / harmony-oriented responses, because those types of ideas really don't move the needle when it comes to gender pay equity and women getting ahead in the workforce. Taking calculated risks and executing them well will - please consider this for your own careers.

Six Figure Salary Coach · Answer

One thing I want to ask you is this... Were you happy with your wage prior to finding out what she makes? The reason I ask this is because it can be very dangerous to evaluate how you feel about YOUR success against factors relating to somebody else. I totally understand the frustration, but just remember that you can't let other people's factors impact how you feel. Don't be that susceptible.

In saying this however, if this motivates you to ask for more, for reasons relative to your performance, then I would say go for it. Comparing your wage against your co-workers is not a valid excuse from a managerial perspective. I help women request pay increases and promotions (with confidence and backed by a solid 'business case'). So if this motivates you to take a look at your own performance, and push yourself forward, then I am 100% in agreement with you. If you're only rationale for requesting more money is because someone you work with makes more than you... That is an uphill battle.

If it's something you're interested in, I have a free Facebook group that talks about how to request pay increases and promotions with confidence. If you would like the link, I'd be happy to share it with you.

Regardless of what you decide, don't let other people impact how you feel about yourself, your wage, and your contributions. I know it's easier said than done. I have been in this situation many times! I've found out that a poor-performing sales representative made more than me as a manager.... And yes, he was a man and I am a woman...... That was ridiculous! But I harnessed my frustration into digging deep into my accomplishments and using that rationale to request a pay increase and pushing MYSELF froward. Yes, maybe it was the wrong motivators but it forced me to really look at what I brought to the table, stop being complacent, and really understand why I deserved more. If this resonates with you, feel free to reach out to me and I'd be happy to get you started on the right track.

SShep · Answer

While it can be tempting to do so, I've never found it beneficial to obsess over the salary or performance of another coworker. I agree with the sentiments above in that - so long as her performance doesn't affect your actual workload - take a deep breath and let it go. Unless you have a copy of her actual paycheck, you don't know what she makes or what the benefits situation is.

Perhaps you envy her ability to get what she wants ($) while maintaining control over her workload (saying no), and this could give you pause for reflection? If it really bothers you so much, make a plan to move away from this job once you are back from maternity leave.

“Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t.” – Steve Maraboli

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