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Passive Aggressive/Threatening coworker
I’m a supervisor and have a passive aggressive coworker who reports to me. She used to be an asst. store
Manager but didn’t do her job well so she has joined our team in a lesser rank in status. She is very hard to work with ! She hears what she wants and then when she is told she isn’t doing her job in the correct way, she blows up and actually tells me I don’t know how to do her job...but I do! She has walked out of 1:1 meetings with just us, she has come out and yelled at me and had threatening tones to her voice, and of course, she says I have a “vendetta” against her. How do you deal with this type of person????
Barb HansenStartup Product, Growth & Strategy
6.66k
11/25/19 at 6:06PM UTC
The advice above it spot-on.
I have been in a similar situation, and working with a person like this can be draining and very stressful. Take care of yourself - her actions are a reflection of her issues not of your managerial style, but her actions can wear you down.
A very wise manager of mine (the manager I had while trying to deal with a very toxic direct report) said to me, "This situation is hard for you as well, remember to take care of yourself. If you need to take an hour and walk around Nordstroms (which was not my thing, but it was how she relaxed), then do it"
FYI - I ended up letting that toxic employee go. It was a big deal. I was brought in to replace the boss on a broken team. I had 6 month to fix the team or their work would be outsourced. I had the full support of my manager and the HR team. We went through team-building sessions, rebuilt workflows, physically moved the team to a new section in the office, and I am proud to say that the employee satisfaction rating on the team went form 65% to 95% (from the lowest in the company to the highest) in just under a year. Even with all of the support that I had, I was not able to save everyone, the toxic employee mentioned above was let go and another person choose to take that time to work elsewhere and even with all the support I had, it was very stressful on me as well.
Diana Schomberg
27
11/25/19 at 11:29PM UTC
Had a meeting today with the toxic coworker and my manager. My manager had my back (praise Jesus) the whole time. I listened to her comments and replied to her concerns/grievances about me. I told her what was truth. She didn’t like it but in the end she apologized to me and I asked if we could start fresh. I reminded her that I’ve always had her back....she knew I was right. She changed her demeanor to support me and even though she said it was going to take her a while to get “over it” (her issues of passive aggressiveness), she would try. My manager asked her to not talk about this and to be positive and supportive of me because it’s not always my decision as to what she does every day. I told her I wanted a new start. The meeting ended fine. The issue was resolved in my eyes, but I’m still going to document, document, document!
Kim WarnerOn a mission to clean up the fashion business...
227
11/25/19 at 1:03AM UTC
Keep a work journal. Document your work day, with dates and times. Include your interactions with all of your team, not just her, but when an incidence occurs, be sure to document it. Don't put your personal feelings in your journal. Document only the facts: what was said, what was done. Then you can take this information to HR and/or your supervisor.
Diana Schomberg
27
11/25/19 at 3:24AM UTC
Currently doing this! Thank you!
EmpoweredGirl298899Sales queen, former realtor, chef seeks PT job
21
11/24/19 at 11:20PM UTC
Ask HR if your company has a firing process using personnel reviews. With enough bad reviews, she may decide to go elsewhere. However, most personnel problems are personal problems. Try to find out the root of the difficulty, and perhaps you could make suggestions to help her solve it.
Diana Schomberg
27
11/25/19 at 3:26AM UTC
She has had so many I’m surprised she hasn’t been already. Idk how much more HR needs. I’m thinking to going higher up and speaking to my manager’s boss.
Jackie RukaProfessionalHappyologist Thrive in your purpose.
2.07k
11/24/19 at 10:54PM UTC
Sounds like she is resentful, which is a tough attitude to work with. Most people just want to feel understood and perhaps she is misunderstood? I would have a heart to heart talk with her and learn more of what she really wants to do? In addition, she may do well by learning some leadership skills and team player qualities. Perhaps HR has a workshop or program that would help her in those areas?
Diana Schomberg
27
11/25/19 at 3:24AM UTC
Tried to have the H to H...she won’t have it. “None of my business”. This is also a person who thinks supervisors can’t be friends outside of work with coworkers...
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