© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.
Friend?
I'm torn. I have a friend who I've known for about 8 months. Unfortunately, I tend to only see her when her boyfriend is out of town or has plans. I've irritated, as I don't think anyone's life should revolve around a guy. My birthday is coming up and I've mentioned my party to her numerous times. His birthday is close to mine. His family is coming into town on his actual birthday, so she's now celebrating his birthday on the same night as my party. We're fairly new friends, so there's not a lot I can say, but I'm bummed. Should I be? While I really wish she could make it, maybe it's more about the fact that her decisions tend to be all about him.
Why do women do this? I think women tend to forget that friendships are important and it bothers me when friends disappear only to resurface again when they're single.
I would rather have a few friends than deal with friends who don't value each other. Thoughts?
Anonymous
04/24/19 at 2:16PM UTC
Your friend likely doesn't know she is making you feel this way! I would try to give her the benefit of the doubt, and remember that you are a great/fun friend! This doesn't have to do with you, I don't think. She is just balancing other priorities, too. Like other commenters said, maybe try to include her boyfriend in your plans? Or, start by inviting them both to group events you or your friends have. Then, you'll have more time with her even when her boyfriend is in town.
Anonymous
04/23/19 at 6:52PM UTC
Birthdays are hard... Since he's her boyfriend and his parents are coming in, I think this is an instance where you shouldn't bring up any animosity. I know it feels like the last straw on the camels back but if you chose this time to voice your concerns she'll think you are being unreasonable, especially since you're new friends. I would make an effort to include him in your next plans, he's obviously important to her. But if you truly want to hang with just her make it known you want to have a girls day!
PenelopeSage
849
04/23/19 at 5:58PM UTC
I think it's normal to feel bummed but it does sounds like you're still fairly new friends. Maybe that's why?
I can barely make birthdays from friends I've known forever. It's not that I don't value them but I think as we grow older and get busier, priorities shift a little bit.
Anonymous
04/23/19 at 5:57PM UTC
Do you all ever hang out together or is it only when your friend's boyfriend is out of town? I ask because the best friends of mine are also friends with my partner. This helps so much because it's a great way to enjoy everyone's company as much as possible because having time for anyone nowadays can be tough.
© 2022 Fairygodboss. All rights reserved.