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Show of hands, please. How many of us believe someone we've dated (or are dating) genuinely falls on the spectrum of Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
I've previously dated someone who I suspected was on the spectrum and was blown away by "The Fear of Narcissism," a 2016 essay by Kristin Dombek I recently read. Basically, it traces the evolution of NPD as a condition psychologists believed less than 1% of the population has to suddenly becoming this "buzzy" term we apply to anyone and everyone. That being said, I DO think that for some people, narcissism is genuinely a condition! Just curious to hear others' thoughts as well.
Jenny
29
12/03/18 at 7:57PM UTC
I wonder what the line between this and having a huge ego is. Huge ego as in slow to admit when wrong, having one straight view on subjects, reluctant to change views
Anonymous
11/28/18 at 4PM UTC
Well, there's NPD and there's narcissism in general. I'm not sure if the rates of NPD have changed, but from what I've heard society is growing increasingly narcissistic. I don't think I've had a relationship with anyone with personality-disorder level narcissism, but definitely a couple that were on the spectrum. :-/
Side note: I hate that we weren't all taught about narcissism in school - I took a psych course even! I didn't know about the signs or how much damage it can do until my 30s... I was lucky I didn't end up in a toxic relationship. I know too many people who did.
nikki1022coffee+chocolate addict
614
11/27/18 at 9:58PM UTC
I most definitely dated someone with this condition. And I'm NOT one to rush to label / exaggerate. His behavior was unlike anything I'd ever seen before — bizarre, disturbing, scary, frustrating, hurtful, etc. I am so glad I got out of that relationship quickly, and when I look back it's hard to believe I was ever interested in the first place.
Anonymous
11/28/18 at 4:02PM UTC
They can be so charming! I'm glad you got out.
Anonymous
11/27/18 at 9:54PM UTC
Whoa, can you share some examples that lead you to believe someone you dated had this disorder?
nikki1022coffee+chocolate addict
614
11/27/18 at 10:23PM UTC
The man I dated had an extremely inflated sense of self-importance. He was constantly in need of praise/admiration, and he would pathologically lie in order to make himself seem like a more admirable person. He was somewhat delusional about things he was working on, his future, etc., especially as it related to his career. He also had a complete lack of empathy; he did extremely hurtful things and showed zero remorse/regret/guilt when I found out about or reacted to his hurtful behavior (but he could turn on his charm/lie, at times, to appear empathetic).
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