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Are you satisfied?
What are five things you are currently putting up with?
Patricia OhomaOffice Manager for small Renewable Energy Co.
38
11/21/19 at 2:19AM UTC (Edited)
1. Live with my ex in a toxic environment, because...
2. My job doesn’t pay me a living wage/hours.
3. Chronic migraines.
4. Constant stress over #1 & #2 and how I can find a better job, where do I need to relocate too (living in a small town/area) to achieve this, and what I really want to be doing with my life?!
5. I sold everything when I entered into the relationship (moved in together) so now I have to figure out how to get a car, furniture, etc.
Hard life lessons.
Keaierra R.
25
11/25/19 at 7:46AM UTC
If you don't mind me asking where do you currently live(city wise)?
Patricia OhomaOffice Manager for small Renewable Energy Co.
38
11/25/19 at 3:37PM UTC
Small island in WA state. It’s essentially a retirement community for the wealthy. So full-time jobs are scarce and the ones that come up pay just a tiny bit over minimum wage. On average, a studio costs $1300 a month and 1 bedrooms are over $1500. Splitting a house with a roommate will run about $1000 each for a decent 2 bedroom. Time to seek out a living wage where housing is more affordable, before I have to move back to the east coast and in with my parents - again. I guess my biggest struggle is - what do I want I actually want to do/what will fulfill me?
Kathleen Young Rybarczyk
20
11/18/19 at 1:57AM UTC
1. Fibromyalgia - this has been a BIG adjustment but my family is WONDERFUL.
2. Losing weight - I'm trying to lose 100 pounds while living in a house with two adult guys and two growing teen boys. Yeah, it's an adventure, but I'm about 18 pounds in 3 months.
3. Finances - I can't work because of #1 and other medical issues right now and it's hard on my husband & family.
4. Cleaning out my house. Nineteen years of STUFF. It's getting donated, sold, recycled or kept.
5. Adjusting to my kids becoming adults - my daughter just got engaged, my oldest is prepping for college, and my youngest just became a teen.
A lot to adjust to, but I am lucky to have AWESOME people in my life to help me, especially my husband.
Keaierra R.
25
11/18/19 at 2:58AM UTC
I'm glad your family is supportive during this time. I am also on a journey to lose weight, its difficult for me also because I battle depression but with time I've gotten better. Have you talked to them about how much you're trying to lose? if not I would suggest that first and see how they can help you with your goal. There are a lot of work from home opportunities I've seen, some even part time, try that and see what you can find and maybe that take a little stress off yourself and husband. With the kids growing up you'll adjust before you know it.
AllorynW
42
11/17/19 at 8:04AM UTC
1. special needs daughter with behavioral issues, including anxiety, ODD, and rigid thinking.
2. 83 year old Dad who has become a mean old man recently and who believes everyone thinks he is senile or incapable even though we don't. He is unhappy with the changes advanced age has given him and is turning this into that perception.
3, 4, and 5. My sister, brother-in-law, and 9 year old niece also live with us. Neither my sister nor BIL work because BIL has become disabled (but not totally incapacitated) and she has to take care of him. He was denied disability 2 years ago and finally has a hearing coming up to appeal that decision. In the meantime, he is deteriorating mentally--depressed by physical limitations, lack of income, yada yada yada--and taking it out on my sister and everyone else in the house. The nicest word I have to describe him right now is not one I feel comfortable typing here. There are days I could just choke him. I don't, but the thought passes through my mind. When they moved in, my sister agreed she would be the "housewife" so to speak and would handle things like dusting, vacuuming, picking up, dishes, and so on. Not. She has not held up her end of the agreement at all. This house is a disaster. Yes, I clean, but I do other things, too, like work as much as possible. We have a set agreement on who is responsible for what and I'm doing mine plus hers when it gets to the point I can no longer stand it. If you look up unreliable in the dictionary, her picture is there. My niece is a pretty good kid, all things considered. She's 9 going on 18, in fourth grade, and likes all the silly, silly 9 year old, fourth grade stuff. I have banned slime from inside the house and am so sick of the various, stupid YouTube videos she watches at a volume I'm sure the people across the street can hear, I could spit nails and hammer wood.
Bottom line: I live in a multi-generational household with extended family. DO NOT RECOMMEND. I told the family I would like them a lot better if we didn't live together. At supper. Earlier this week. The holiday season is supposed to be a time when you look forward to getting to see the family and everyone spends time together. My attitude? Ha! My dream holiday season would be to get away from my family and spend no time with them. Maybe I could tolerate them better when I get back. LOL.
These are the things I am putting up with while trying to be as positive and upbeat as possible and focus on the good things rather than dwell on the bad.
Faye Nelson-RamseyAlways looking for new Challenges
599
11/18/19 at 2:24PM UTC
If I may offer some advise about your Dad. Has he been checked to see if he is having microstrokes? I'm not trying to scare you or anything like that. I ask because my Mum went through a period where she became a mean, embittered woman who took it out on everyone. We all chalked it up to her declining health and crappy attitude. It wasn't until after she had a major fatal stroke that we found she had been having really small, microstrokes that were altering the chemistry in her brain which was probably a huge part of the change in her personality. Had we known, there is treatments that can help, it could have made her quality of life along with our memories of her much better. Might be something to speak to him and/or his doctor about.
AllorynW
42
11/18/19 at 4PM UTC
No, he hasn't that I know of. He sees his regular doctor and his cardiologist for physicals every 6 months, though. His cardiologist called him amazing at his last one in early October. Still, I will mention it to him.
Honestly, I think it's our situation coupled with his lingering grief from mom's death in 2012. Dad was furious with Mom for leaving him behind, in his opinion, he was supposed to go first.
My dad, daughter, and I have been carrying the household financially ever since my sister et al moved in. Dad gets Social Security and military retirement so a fixed income and my daughter receives a ridiculously small amount of disability each month. When I was working, it was not bad; it was handleable. It didn't become a ginormous issue until after my severance ended and my unemployment ran out (I was laid off last December effective the 31st).
Plus, he's 83 and very old school. He really doesn't believe that my daughter's chromosomal anomaly causes her behavioral stuff to be beyond her control. He thinks she is how she is on purpose. I know this because he said so in our last conversation about her. And this attitude is in spite of the fact I have provided him and even read to him the medical white papers regarding the scientific proof and her doctor has talked to him. SIGH.
Dad is also thoroughly disgusted with my sister and BIL. They really don't contribute much to the household and my sister is great at throwing stupid excuses around. Unfortunately, he flat refuses to do some tough love to them, saying he can't give them a deadline and/or boot them out "because he can't do that to [my niece]" so he allows the status quo and is bitter about it. And yeah, I've volunteered to do it which he immediately shot down, I've even tried to do it only to be told at full volume this is NOT MY HOUSE, it's his and I don't have the authority. So I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place there.
Dad is still active-- he plays golf 3 times a week, has friends he socializes with, and does a lot of the running around for the household because he enjoys it. Still, it's not a bad idea to bring up the possibility of microstrokes.
Thanks very much for the information and kind thoughts.
Keaierra R.
25
11/18/19 at 2:53AM UTC
Does your dad still live on his own? Sorry to hear about the behavioral issues with your daughter, I am also dealing with behavioral issues with son as well. I totally understand living with others when they don't do their part, if you don't mind, I would suggest advising your sister of some work from home positions that way it could help relieve a little of the financial stress in the meantime and as soon as possible sitting down with her and discussing her lack of holding up her end of the deal. If you continue to do her part she'll continue to neglect it and you'll continue to build up this animosity towards her. But trust me I fully understand how you feel and I'm glad you haven't choked him Lol
AllorynW
42
11/18/19 at 4:07PM UTC
Dad, my daughter, myself, my sister, my BIL, and my 9 year old niece all live in the same house. Very not optimal, but it is what it is.
Crystal Rhinebergerprofessional rofl nevermind lets just wing it
2.29k
11/16/19 at 2:14AM UTC
Totally satisfied, except w my fabric choices lately. I am not finding quality fabrics for the garments I would like to make, other than that weird problem, mom life, home life, friend support system, and panicking because I didnt finish my kitchen curtain for thanksgiving yet
Keaierra R.
25
11/18/19 at 2:46AM UTC
Don't panic, i'm sure you'll finish it in time. Have you tried reaching out to some well known companies or individuals to see if maybe they can point you in the direction of high quality fabrics?
Faye Nelson-RamseyAlways looking for new Challenges
599
11/15/19 at 5:22PM UTC
Job, family, currently political/societal climate, physical appearance and cold weather (pretty much in that order)
Keaierra R.
25
11/18/19 at 2:44AM UTC
would you say any of these things have a negative impact on your life currently?
Faye Nelson-RamseyAlways looking for new Challenges
599
11/18/19 at 2:19PM UTC
Absolutely. Most of these are hitting the negative side of life. Some I'm trying to figure out what to do to change (Job, family & physical appearance) other's not much I can do but hunker down and wait for the change to happen (or wait for Spring). Mostly I am focusing on coping mechanisms to keep my negativity in perspective and minimize the stress factor.
Keaierra R.
25
11/18/19 at 9:01PM UTC
If you would like we can always look at starting a support group to help with the physical appearance side of things...and just to check is it more of a weight issue that you're concerned about?
See other replies
Star7spouse of retired military
156
11/17/19 at 11AM UTC
Sounds a lot like me
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