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Anonymous
08/09/19 at 3:34PM UTC
in
Career

Need advice, please.

I had a co-worker approach me and ask if I knew anyone that could apply for a position in their department. I said, I will have to check. I came back with a gal/long time friend that was interest. She applied and was hired, however, I feel sad and angry that I got her hired. The department and ladies in that department are nothing but barracudas! They are not nice to her, they are rude, condescending, disrespectful, they alienate her. She is the kind of lady that would give you her last dollar. She has been on the job for 15 days when the gal went on vacation. I will call my friend, Val, Val was left alone to handle a new job that she was not fully trained for, so much information, and it takes up to a year to learn this position. When the other gal returned from her vacation, Val, was met with anger, condescending tones, and was told that she messed things up, and now she (Karen) has to do her job and her own job too! And, maybe this job just isn't for her (Val. In the mean time, the front desk receptionist has treated Val with disrespect and blatant rudeness, no greeting, low tone of voice, no eye contact. If they cross each other, the receptionist will quickly turn her head and look the other way, or if Val is walking towards the receptionist, the receptionist will quickly turn her body and head. She will not say goodmorning, although, Val, does say good morning. When family member comes to see Val for a brief minute, the receptionist is not warm or welcoming, but disgusted and condescending. I feel terrible I put my friend Val, in this situation. She left a job she was at for 12 years to give this job a chance thinking it would be a better opportunity. But none the less, it's been nothing but trouble for her from the day she was hired. She is in her 90 day probationary period, giving her limited security for her position within the company. It is very unsettling and unnerving that we have ladies that cannot be professional, helpful, be a team member, and do what's best for the sake of the company and it's values. I am deeply sadden with all of this. I am the Executive Assistant, and as hard as this is, I need to remain neutral in such a negative environment and now that my friend is involved. I cannot become personally involved, but need to remain professional, on task, a teammember to support all within our company to and become the best of the best. The conflict has had a bearing weight on my shoulders and weighs heavy on my mind, especially since I helped get her hired here. I have considered talking with my reporting Vice President, but I don't want to come off as this being personal. I have encouraged her to speak with her Supervisor to relay her concerns and issues with her first, if she feels there is no resolve, then consider going to H/R to place a complaint. I feel this is really getting out of hand and needs to be addressed. If Val had made mistakes, I would have researched why, explained to her how she made them, and explained and showed her how to fix them so she understood going forward. I would not ever have given her the ultimatum that maybe this job isn't for her!! I also feel they are already trying to push her out already without giving her a full chance. The negative, back biting, gossiping, barracuda pit has been in existence here for many years, one would think that the stagnant kind of environment would come to an end at some point by growing up and becoming mature adult woman that will support one another to success. Not the case here!! What would you do?

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Anonymous54
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60
08/13/19 at 3:37PM UTC
Thank you, Kim, wonderful advice. I so agree with you. I feel this does need to be addressed, especially on a moral level and a create a friendly work environment for the new comers, friends or not. I think this has been the culture because we have people here for 20-30 years, and often times, they feel entitled and run over bosses that do not have a back bone to stand up and call the shots! I agree with you!! Thank you.
Kim Beasley
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796
Administrative Professional
08/12/19 at 3:20PM UTC
I personally think you have an obligation as the EA to the Vice President to bring this problem to his attention. These ladies need to be properly supervised and/or fired. If this behavior is not what your company is all about, then you need to help end it.
Jennifer A
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968
08/09/19 at 9:07PM UTC
I think the key is to expose the behavior in a very non-threatening way. I, like you, would try to expose the issue but instead of being direct, a more strategic approach may be necessary. My method might be: 1. Find a couple of articles communication in the workplace that detail different personality styles. Look for articles that give examples of both good and bad behavior. Bonus points if you find any articles that have examples that mimic your company (both good and bad). The goal is to find conversation starters. 2. Casually bring up with your boss and coworkers that you have been studying in an attempt to be a better communicator. Ask them if they have any examples of the good behaviors you are reading about. Ask them if they have seen any of the bad. In other words ... start a conversation but in a very non-threatening way. 3. After a week or two, go to HR and explain that you have been having these conversations and as a result you have been very 'aware'. Point out a couple stellar examples of good communication and then bring up one bad one you notice. Ask if they know of any ways to help defuse and/or help in this situation. Is there anything you could have done? Truthfully, it might not help your friend but now HR is aware and hopefully (crossed fingers) will remember with the next new hire (or person interacting with any of the barracudas) In this way, you aren't ratting anyone out but rather, trying to learn and grow. Last but not least, I am sure you and Val are both trying to but make sure that the two of you are 100% polite and kind. Stay above the fray. They aren't kind, smile anyway. They look down their noses, complement them on some piece of their job. Ask for their opinion on something that they consider themselves experts on. In other words, kill them with kindness!
Anonymous54
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60
08/13/19 at 3:34PM UTC
Excellent, excellent advice. Yes, we both are very accommodating, professional, friendly beyond friendly, we don't give them any ammunition. I really like your advice. I am having lunch today with 3 of my co-workers and Val, hoping to create more of a network of friends she can rely on besides me. I felt this might help for her to be able to talk to more than one person and can get help with her duties if I am out of the office. After lunch, I will be thinking about our conversation and most likely will be meeting with my reporting Vice President. I feel our Exec Team deserves to know what is driving moral into the ground is group of road apples that don't want to play nice!
Anonymous54
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60
08/09/19 at 5:51PM UTC
Good morning Isaviel, yes, I have seen this with one other new hire, it was a male. It seems to be within our company, but yet, it's also is evident it's the repeat offenders that are taking the strong hold in our work environment here where I am at. This I believe has been the norm in this department, but one department I was only apart of for a very short time. I didn't have to go through this type of unfriendliness, until about 2 years after.
Carrie Topolski
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2.34k
Empowering women and beyond!
08/09/19 at 6:41PM UTC
Good morning :) I don't necessarily agree with Val confronting Karen. It should have been done at the time things were said not later. Is Karen her boss or her co-worker? If her co-worker than she should bring this to her supervisor's attention and follow up with an email so that it's documented. If it's her boss then it should be brought to HR. Secondly, if this has happened in the past I would bring it up to your boss or HR and let them know you are seeing some inappropriate behavior with new hires happening and it should be stopped immediately. God knows who else they have done this to and it's very inappropriate and unprofessional.
Faye Young Trotter
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16
Disabled after 27 years Critical Care Nursing.
08/09/19 at 5:50PM UTC
My recommendation would be to have Val confront Karen, quietly positivelyand let her know that she will. not be treated the way that she has been. I would. tell Val to let her know that if she could not stop this negative behavior indicating no interest in the company. Furthermore, i know the chain of command and will not hesitate to use it.
Anonymous54
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60
08/09/19 at 5:53PM UTC
Thank you very much, Faye. Very helpful information. I appreciate your advice. Thank you.
Carrie Topolski
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2.34k
Empowering women and beyond!
08/09/19 at 5:48PM UTC
Question... You're seeing this with your friend. What about other new hires? Is it the same situation? Is this culture spreading beyond Val?
Ruzana Glaeser
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950
Co-founder of brightmeetsbrave.com
08/09/19 at 3:58PM UTC
Sounds to me like it's a culture at your work, not just a one off instance or misunderstanding. Unfortunately, I don't think there is anything YOU alone can do to change the culture. I would recommend to your friend to confront whomever in a positive way with "I know we didn't start off on the right foot, and I want to have a respectful and inspiring work environment. What can I do to help mend the bridges?" At least it gets the conversation going, but as I have said previously sounds like it's not a good culture fit.
Anonymous54
star-svg
60
08/09/19 at 5:12PM UTC
Thank you very much, wonderful advice. Thank you.

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