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BrennaHanley
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30
Educator, Writer, Gamer, Advocate.
10/22/19 at 8:21PM UTC
in
Career

I am becoming a statistic

It’s my 5th year teaching in public school and I don’t know if I can do it anymore. It often seems like education is a field that a lot of people value. Even if you don’t have kids that currently go to school, you - yourself - have participated in school; either private or public. That’s why we all pay taxes for public school. We as a society have agreed that education is necessary for the betterment of our children and the future. This belief is what drove me to education and teaching in the first place. When I first started, I really didn’t know what I was getting into. I spent a little over a year at a D middle school in a poor district and left to work in other fields. It was my core-belief in helping young people and passion for education that drove me back again, this time at a B high school in the same district and I stuck it out for 4 more years. When most people think of teaching, they assume that you go to college for teaching, you work as a student intern at some schools, and then you get a job as a teacher. After that, you can enjoy 10 months of teaching young people about your passion and 2 months off with regular holidays and benefits. The truth about the field of education is that we never stop working. The moment you are hired as a public educator (even with a 4-year degree in education) you are required to continuously take coursework in education for non-English speakers, education for students with special needs, educational technology, education standards and district policies, testing regulations and requirements. If you are a first year teacher, most of these courses are expected to be completed within your first 3 years. If you are a teacher from another state, you are required to prove to the state you have that coursework or are taking new coursework to be in compliance. On top of all of that, we are expected to maintain quality lesson plans, engage our students in learning everyday, and keep an accurate record of our grading system and accommodations. For me, I was not an education major. However, that did not stop the education system from encouraging me to apply. I had a degree in English Literature which labelled me as “Highly Qualified” in the subject of English. In order for me to be certified, I was required to take a general knowledge test, a subject-area exam, and several courses in English. All of which were to be paid for out of my pocket. When I first started teaching, I was told I could complete my coursework through different programs. One option presented to me at the young age of 23 was to complete my required coursework through a Masters program in Education. After finishing, not only would I have a professional certification in Education, but I would also have a Masters degree which would increase my pay. It wasn’t until I was nearly done with the 3-year certification period and my masters program that I found out I had not completed all of the required coursework to become a certified teacher because my masters program did not provide them. Yes, my masters program in education did not provide all the necessary coursework for me to complete my education certification. Through a last ditch effort (and lots of money) I was able to take the coursework needed to complete my certification requirements by the expiration date (in two weeks). I submitted the needed documents to the state and waited for my approval to be put through. And I’m still waiting. Due to a backlog at the State Department of Education, I have been waiting 4 months for my professional certificate that I have worked so hard for. On top of that, I am unable to graduate from my masters program because I don’t have my professional certificate. Even though I don’t officially have my certification, my district has allowed me to continue teaching 180 10th graders English Literature. Why? Because no one else will do it. After 5 years of study, work, and passion I have nothing to show for it except a very full Google Drive and some t-shirts. No pay raise. No promotion. No masters degree. No certification. I write, film, and edit videos for my students. I create lesson plans designed to differentiate and engage. I pour my heart, soul, and money into my classroom. I have worked so hard for four years. I thought that once I got through everything I needed to do to become a professional teacher I would feel empowered! I would feel free! I would feel like I could take advantage of all that time off. Instead I feel depressed. Everyday. I feel hopeless for the future. I look at my students and all I see is the same bureaucratic nonsense that I’ve had to deal with eating away at them with every test they take. I feel like my soul is being slowly scratched away with every class bell. I am in the darkest emotional place I’ve ever been. And I have literally no clue how to fix it. My certification is in limbo, so I can’t apply for another teaching job anywhere. I’ve called the department of education every week since I applied for certification to no avail. I’ve taken on new jobs at the school like sponsoring clubs and teams, volunteering for our teachers union, and supporting our academic programs. I don’t think I’m a bad teacher, but I think I’m about to become one just to make it day to day. I have so many people in my life who support me and feel for my struggle, but have no tools to actually change anything. I love teaching. I love interacting with my students. I love seeing them learn new things. But I hate my job. From conversations with other educators, my story doesn’t seem so uncommon. Other teachers are feeling belittled, exhausted, and frustrated. According to Edweek.org, 44% of new teachers leave the field within the first 5 years. In my county, that number is more than half. If we as a society value education, why don’t we value our teachers? Why do we allow more than half to leave after 5 years? Why do we require them to take on more work without more pay? Why do we treat “highly qualified” teachers like lazy, ungrateful dirtbags? Everyone accepts that we have a problem, but what do we actually do about it? I am a self-motivated, hard-working, quick-learner. I need help changing the world; contact if interested.

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Anonymous
10/27/19 at 9:36PM UTC
Your letter reminds me of a doctor on YouTube who calls himself "ZDogg". He has been advocating for change in the health care field from for-profit bureaucractic health care, to physician driven health care that puts patients first, through primary care preventive care and early intervention, and allows doctors to make the decision on what treatment is best for the patient, as well as advocating for better treatment of medical professionals. Recently however, he posted a video that he is burned out because despite all of his appearances at talks, conferences and signings, all of the invites by various hospital administrations to appear (which make him feel used now) nothing changes because of fear and inertia. People are afraid of losing their job, of being blacklisted in their field, and never recovering if they speak out and demand change. It seems like there are always others lined up behind you needing a job, or a business can decide to automate and not have to deal with people any longer. White collar jobs are being automated, and soon no one will be immune to this change in the future of work. There is no incentive anymore for wealthy businesses or owners to care about people or customers. They don't have to. I thought hard about what ZDogg said, because when the founders of the United States wrote the Declaration of Independence, they "pledge(ed) their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honors" to the cause of liberty from England. And this was not just pretty words - all of them could have easily been hanged for treason against the crown, at his Majesty's pleasure. And these were land owning, wealthy, learned men with a lot to lose. Despite all, they were willing to do everything possible for what they believed was right (even as many colonists were okay with remaining British subjects, and did not agree with separation). Many of us right now are in the grip of fear. Fear of our future, fear of our jobs, fear of our finances, fear of the government, fear. I don't know, as ZDogg and others have expressed, what it is going to take for us to collectively fight for what is right and healthy, for those of us in varying fields, and be willing to pledge all, as many in the past have done. As of now, it seems that so many decide to quit nursing, teaching, social services, and other professions rather than deal with the bureaucracies in place now that protect administrations, profits and shareholders over workers and people. I was in social work studies but I decided not to complete my studies - only to go into enormous debt for a job that pays less than half of what I make now without a master's degree. It isn't right, and I thought about what it takes to start fighting against the insanities that have been allowed to creep into various professions over the years. Sometimes, it could put a person on the streets. Or even in jail. I understand quitting because I did, despite having the desire and the grades (I had to take my advanced age, inability to pay those loans in my 60s and beyond, being single with no family or support at all, and the effect student loans have on retirement - which is draconian) into account. I could not bring myself to have irons in the fire. If I was in my 20s, yes. My belief is that this is what those in charge want - a people who are financially castrated, unable to protest and fight the current system of profits above all, because of the very real possibility of losing everything. When so many are barely hanging on. Protesters in the Great Depression era, suffragettes, and African Americans fighting for their rights already had nothing to lose, and everything to gain. And protesters in the 60s were mostly from good solid middle class families and didn't fear financial loss from their activism, though some did lose their lives and others were arrested. A young person like yourself, who is savvy about the computers and changes coming along in society is going to have to decide, along with other young people, what the work arounds are that are needed to bypass the systems and accomplish your goals as a group of professional teachers, if you decide to remain in the orofession. Collectively start a private school based on your values and desires? Teach online? Privately tutor? Start a new type of organization that is not a union, yet acconplishes what unions originally set out to do - protect the workers and advocate on their behalf? Start a PR campaign to help the public understand the profession better and build support? I don't know, but it is the youth coming up to replace mine and older generations, who are going to have to determine what the future course is and be willing to fight for what is right despite the odds. I was too late to make a difference, but you have a long time to. And I hope you find the best way, however that works out.
Marcie Barbato
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19
Psychiatry, Pain Medicine, Occ Med & PCP
10/24/19 at 11:50PM UTC
Just saw this & wanted to share it with everyone https://www.instagram.com/p/Bk0ukxmHci_/
Anonymous
10/24/19 at 6:13PM UTC
Hi Brenna, Your thoughtful and moving letter deserves to be published and distributed as widely as possible. It should be required reading for all Americans! Perhaps a good first step is to send it to the George Lucas Educational Foundation at https://www.edutopia.org. They actively seek opinions and commentary from teachers through the "contact us" page on their website. Your insight, passion, and dedication will certainly get the attention of people who are working to change the system. The broad scope of your letter also reflects your viability as a candidate for positions in the field of education outside the classroom. Perhaps education reform is where you need to be! Or in government as the next Secretary of Education! Your frustrations and difficult experiences have been forging you into a warrior who can now fight harder for innovation, quality, and fair play in education. Maybe it's time for you to think big. There is something out there waiting for you, but you may need to leave the classroom to find it. The good news is, you can always go back! -- Anna
Marcie Barbato
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19
Psychiatry, Pain Medicine, Occ Med & PCP
10/24/19 at 5:07PM UTC
I am so sorry that you are feeling so down & depressed. I am a Nurse Practitioner & chose my profession because of the same noble reasons you chose yours. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long at all to see how the real world isn’t what we had envisioned in so many ways, it’s really disheartening. I’ve been working for a large insurance company over the last 6 months doing housecalls across 3 different counties in CNY. I have to drive my own personal car & didn’t realize how expensive my car maintenance has been getting. They reimburse for mileage, but I am struggling to understand why I have to carry the burden of driving my own vehicle for work related travel, especially when my ex-husband works in sales & is required to travel to different dealerships, so his company gets him a new car every couple years in addition to paying for his gas. I’ve been an NP for 16 years now & feel like I’m really being taken advantage of because I am a woman. 96% of the other healthcare providers who do what I do across the country are also women. I am paid a salary, but by the time I get home from seeing all my members/patients I have to make my reminder calls for the members I’m seeing the next day & spend at least an additional 3 hours on finishing up my notes, completing whatever trainings that have been assigned to me & other administrative stuff. If you actually calculated the # of hours I spend on my job each day, I’m probably only really getting paid 1/2 the amount I should be. I know that we, as American Women have our predecessors to thank for all of the tremendous progress made back in the 1920s & 1960s with the women’s rights movement. If you really think about it, it actually wasn’t all that long ago when women became legally able to do anything about sexual discrimination, etc. I’m sorry to have gone off on such a tangent, but I think it’s important that we are consciously aware of how women continue to be discriminated against, especially in the female-dominated professions of teaching & nursing. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of for being a caring person who will sacrifice $ for the greater good of what we do for society.
Kayla Vavra
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277
Confidence & Mindset Coach Self-Love Advocate
10/24/19 at 4:59PM UTC
My heart SO FEELS THIS. I am in my first year of freedom after leaving my 7-year high school teaching career. And my story is similar to yours: I have my degree in Journalism, pursued my Masters in Ed so that I could teach my sweet little freshman journalism, English and public speaking. I also had to take additional classes outside of my Masters program to officially get my certificate. It was SO worth it for a while. And then the workload, the emotional burden of ensuring my kids were happy and safe, and my lack of energy to keep trying new things started to weigh on my heart. I knew that if I kept going I would become a teacher who didn't care enough and didn't try hard enough, and I couldn't let myself become that. So I started my now-full-time business of helping women grow their confidence through mindset shifts, and solid body language and communication habits. And I can tell you that for some people, it's worth it to push through, stand strong, and persevere! It totally is! And for some people it's okay to admit that a dream (that you held close to your heart and worked so hard for) isn't what you want anymore. Amy Porterfield, Ramit Sethi & Jenna Kutcher are all entrepreneurs who have excellent resources in how to start a business that fits your unique skillsets. Looking into corporate Organizational Development departments to find jobs in training is another option I've looked into, before i decided I wanted to be my own boss :) You can choose to stay. You 100% can :) But you can also choose to leave. Because you've learned SO MUCH, you have a passion for teaching, and you can apply that to other fields and pursuits. Feel free to message me if you want to chat more. I have so much empathy for you. Whatever you choose, there is power in that choice, and you are a good person no matter which direction your heart takes you :)
Meagan Mosher
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361
Administrative Assistant.
10/24/19 at 4:42PM UTC
Don't give up. Education is already short of qualified teachers. I know it's hard and I know that it's not all that it is cracked up to be. But, again, please don't give up. You have already put so much in. It will work out. Have faith. I know multiple educators that stuck it out and found their way. Keep at it!!! ????
Lady anon1021
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14
10/24/19 at 1:36PM UTC
First of all, congratulations. You have worked very hard for something impressive, and you achieved it. It's terrible that you don't have the paper or raise in hand, because that is what you deserve and is owed to you, but you still deserve to congratulate yourself for this milestone. If I were you, I would seek a counselor or a therapist. I know there is stigma against these, but you have been through a lot, your emotional journey is far from finished, and you will be amazed at how helpful it can be to voice it all and let it all out. Another recommendation: can you find or get in touch with an older teacher you look up to as a mentor? I know it might be hard, but I could see that being an uplifting and comforting partnership.
Anonymous
10/24/19 at 12:59PM UTC
I have many friends who were former teachers. Figure out what you want to do next (or, if you need a total reset, how long you could afford to do that for) and start making small steps that way.
Anonymous
10/23/19 at 6:13PM UTC
My suggestion is to keep working while getting another degree in industry- even if it is a 2 years degree where you can work while building on that one. There is no incentive to work in public schools- no pension or union or no pay increases but everything else goes up but your pay. I retired but I am one of the last ones to actually receive a pension and health insurance. I did get raises every year due to our contract. I would never encourage anyone to be a teacher. It is just not worth it.
User deleted comment on 10/23/19 at 4:42PM UTC

You're invited.

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