A Latina co-worker who I initially found to be friendly and helpful now shuns me and puts me down when no one is else is present, so it seems pretty intentional. In a group meeting recently, I asked if I could sit beside her and she responded by saying “uhhh....” and looking around the room. After standing there awkwardly for several seconds, I finally said “that’s OK” and sat down in a different section. I was stunned by her unkindness and planned to let my supervisor know what happened. After the meeting, when I returned to our office cubbies, she was sitting there with our boss (also Latina) and my supervisor, chatting in a small circle of which I wasn’t invited to join (no one looked at me) as they talked about mundane things such as shopping and their own physical health. Our boss was sitting literally a foot away from me and kept a steady gaze on the supervisor the entire time. It didn’t feel like the right time to mention it, so I returned to working at my desk. I had the impression that they were creating a sort of shield between themselves and her. I also had the impression that my co-worker had gone to the boss first, spun the story in some way to make her look innocent. I have witnessed the closeness of my boss and this co-worker for some time, and I feel that I can only go to my supervisor with such matters as she has some objectivity but is also tight with the boss. I have never in my life worked in an environment where I felt like such an outsider and felt the ongoing subtle hostility of a cultural shun. What should I do?
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I live in rural West Virginia, master's level counselor/therapist with lots of experience and great references, but no license.
I'm 76 years old: too old to go back to school for 2 years and then do the 3000 hours of supervision. I work remotely for a toxic company; along with others haven't been paid in over 2 months. I love helping my clients but the $$$ issue is eating away at my peace of mind. I've interviewed several places, but lack of licensure is a hurdle. Ideas on how to get out of this trap really appreciated.
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For those who identify as female, what “traditions” exist today within the world of work that need to be removed or updated?
For background, I'm a cisgender white male looking to find ways to become a stronger ally through action and priviledge.
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Any advice on how to generate writing samples for a content writer position if you are transitioning from another career path?
(I am a transitioning English teacher, so I have plenty of writing experience, but nothing that would be suitable for a writing sample.)
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Why is that we are not allowed to bring up salary until after offer acceptance, but yet companies can ask what the range is that we are looking for right in the application?
How is that legal? If it's not a numerically required field, what is the best verbiage for how to get around it?
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I have a bossy coworker (male) who has usurped by (female) boss's authority previously, and attempted to do it again today.
He has derailed work meetings by questioning me, and my boss doesn't interfere or interrupt at all. She didn't question his previous action, which basically took a job duty away from me and appropriated it for himself. I asked her about it, and whether it was permanent. She indicated (vaguely) that it wasn't, but she didn't seem too worried about it. It was his area of expertise, so I let it go. If he wants to reduce my workload, I'll just spend that time posting to FGB!
He sent an email today, cc'ing her, and gave me some orders outside of his wheelhouse. I spent at least an hour writing a draft that detailed my level of knowledge and how I didn't need to do what he insisted on, then decided to simply say I'll do whatever our boss says in a reply-all response.
The other email would have been sent to my boss's boss and someone else in the organization who supervises my stakeholders, and the supervisor of my stakeholders.... and I wanted to cc' others as well.
But I felt that would have been a jerk move response to a jerk move.
I'm proud of myself for standing up for myself and keeping it brief, but now I know I really need to discuss it with my boss, and she doesn't have time for this nonsense.
What would your next step be, hive mind?
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I Love Being Treated Professionally - I am Over "Trendy" Companies
When I left my last position at a major company, I never thought I would find something I liked as much.
At my last job, it felt like a family. I was incredibly close with all of my teammates and there was a very jovial, fun-loving atmosphere. I liked the work I was doing and I knew the intimate details of my co-workers' personal lives. We would have Margarita day, Nerf gun fights, and get up to other management-sponsored tomfoolery.
That is why I overlooked a lot of red flags.
I didn't want to leave and let me teammates down, even when I knew in my heart it was what was best for my family. I had a very important role that would have been difficult to replace, and that made me feel trapped. Some of my coworkers would joke and say things like, "You had better not ever think of quitting, because we would miss you too much. We need you here and it wouldn't be the same without you!"
Every time I thought of quitting that would play in my mind. I know they meant well and were trying to say something sweet, but I felt burdened by it.
I don't want to get into why I left, but I am now at a new company. It's very different, but I'm loving it.
First of all, there are no long "heart to hearts" over people getting their feelings hurt. This was a frequent thing with one of my male colleagues at my old work, who was highly sensitive. I liked him as a person, but he was always getting his feelings hurt and it often felt like you had to walk on eggshells around him.
The HR person was also often moody, and while I liked them it was very stressful trying to communicate with them if someone else had upset them. In fact, there were a lot of people whose "moods" needed to be accommodated, and it was stressful - especially when you liked the person. Then their snappiness was even more upsetting because it wasn't just about work, it was personal.
It's not like that at my new place. People don't get offended easily here. They are professional. They say, "I hope you had a good weekend," but they don't need to know my life story. They aren't constantly trying to force "team building exercises" that waste time. They don't schedule me into endless meeting "just to chat." They don't constantly ask me to go out for drinks after work. I don't feel stressed trying to get my work done while still being a "good teammate" who is emotionally there for everybody and isn't a "stick in the mud" who can't have fun.
And I like that.
I like being treated like a professional. I like people not trying to "figure me out." I like less drama.
I just want to go to work, do my thing, get my paycheck, and go home. I have learned that having my emotions tied up with my co-workers did nothing for me except make leaving harder and stress me out. I don't want to work at another "trendy company" - I want to work at a normal place with normal hours and normal expectations.
Has anyone else experienced this?