Failure to Launch

Question

I'm a 32 year old single woman who never really launched. I went to college at the typical age, earned a bachelors degree, and tried and failed to complete law school. None of the jobs I've had require a college degree, and I've topped out around $31,000 a year or $15/hr. It's been 11 years since I graduated from college and I would love to find a job where I can use my strengths and feel valued and/or return to school. I feel so lost, like I don't even know where to start to try to find a career or make myself desirable to potential employers. Any advice?

Anonymous · Answer

Don't be so hard on yourself with such a harsh title!   The only important thing is to do what you want. You want money?   Think hard about that - b/c the roads may be different and some difficult.   How about getting a MS in Data Science and work for a big bank/investment company?   There is room there to apply what you've learned in law school.

And no matter what, remember Churchill's words: 'Never give in. Never, never, never, never—in nothing, great or small, large or petty—never give in, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”    in your case, the enemy may be  closer than you think, like a friend/family member who is not supportive or needs your help, or your own fears and little doubts.  Learn to know yourself to understand exactly what happens when you did not complete your law degree - and from there know what to do next time, so that you will be happy with yourself,  and have a path forward [that does not circle back to a failure].

Be good to yourself - and laugh at yourself before someone else can (Elsa MAxwell)

Laura Andrews · Answer

If you are open to it, I would suggest thinking about non-traditional female roles -- technical, trades, etc.  These fields are begging for female employees, and the chances of moving ahead are much higher and tend to advance quicker.  I have helped many young women transition to such roles, and have seen their careers skyrocket quickly.

Lady Pele · Answer

You might want to take a look at mynextmove.org.   They have an interest profiler that helps identify your interests and then relates them to careers.

Janie Zinn · Answer

JDaisy, thank you for your vulnerability!  I know it can be so frustrating when you're not where you want to be or where you feel you're 'supposed' to be. There are so many great suggestions in these comments! Digging deep to find your why, developing a plan, and having support are so important.  I am a coach and I have seen so many women succeed as a result of going through this journey!  I know you will achieve your goals and succeed! Let me know if you have any questions!  You've got this!

Helen Hanison · Answer

I'm going to align with JDaisys' advice right at the start of this trail.

Start where you are today, not where you feel you 'ought' to have been.  Shake that off.

I work 1:1 with careerists who have hit some kind of career crossroads - failure to launch being one of them - and know they can't afford to stay stuck the wrong side of a transition they need to thrive.

It doesn't matter what the crossroads is so much as the readiness to do the work that will make change happen. It can only start with clarity. It's a fair amount of self-reflection but with a system to follow it's not as hard as it might sound.

It certainly starts with strengths.  We are generally fairly fluent at these but while they are what makes any career plan robust (or not!), they alone do not make a good career compass.

Looking for overlap with your core values (harder to unpack - they operate without our awareness!) is how you get to spot for synergy between the two. That sweet spot is your compass.

Once you have that self expertise, you can head in the right direction despite not knowing a specific career destination. And still get there.

How? From that introspective start, we move into creating concrete, actionable plans.  We dare to dream so this ideation is purpose driven, but there's a proven process to these steps I'd recommend in a failure to launch context because they help you pilot test what you think you want to do, so you don't waste more time pursuing a plan only to find it's not the right fit.

I've just started a group here on FGB - Career Crossroads - do pop in (and say hi so I know it's you!).  These steps are what I'm committed to helping others leverage so they know how to navigate away from their crossroads.  I'll be calling out for career crossroads soon and we could start with your story.

If you prefer a more private conversation, do let me know.  I offer complimentary clarity conversations and I'd like to help.

I look forward to hearing from you.  Warmly, Helen

Laura Scalone · Answer

I just want to wish you all the best luck. It's hard to find a good paying job these days. Start by revamping your resume to highlight your skills and credentials. List only the most relevant work experience you have for the job you're applying to, and consider keeping the longest term position you've held to show that you have longevity and commitment. Then, apply for everything, even if you're under qualified. Use the cover letter to express your interest and how well you'll do in the job. But remember that it's easy to lose confidence in the process so you just have to power through it and pretend you're more confident during those times.

Lisa Leslie Hefter · Answer

Before you do anything, I would try and figure out what work will leave you energized and fulfilled.  If you like the work you’re doing right now, but there is no opportunity for increased responsibility, look for something similar in a company with more opportunity.    I wouldn’t look for a job with more money/better title unless you love the work too!!!

Jodi Sherman · Answer

I would consider working with a resume writer and/or career coach. You want someone who can help you figure out where to go next, and how your past experiences can apply to that focus. Good luck in figuring everything out!

Anonymous · Answer

You might want to start by listing out your strengths then researching job descriptions that match up to those. There are so many types of jobs out there -- looking into job descriptions on fairygodboss or linkedin will give you a good sense of what's out there and what might be interesting to you.

Anonymous · Answer

Thank you, Cyndi!

Failure to Launch

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