But you excel in your job, you're a great fit and you have fantastic colleagues who stick by your side. How hard do you fight to keep the position?
I went through this last year and ended up leaving the job. I loved the work and the people. My boss was a nightmare, though. I was well-liked, had the best colleagues ever, saw myself staying on for another year or two and was told by several people I was doing a wonderful job and they all hoped I'd stay.
My boss, though, was threatened and tried to squash my accomplishments. She started to do the usual things to push me out-- gossip, overanalyze my work, remove me from projects, and she convinced a top manager that I was trouble. I did go to HR and filed a complaint. I did not want to leave. Of course, the pandemic made it much worse. The best parts of the job disappeared and I ended up on calls with only one person-- my boss who wanted me out. I think that was strategic. At the crux of it all, we should have gotten on well if she just let me do my job and managed from afar.
So, I started applying for positions just to see what happened, and was offered two. I took one and left my job. I never felt happy about leaving. I had thought the bad boss would move on as her position and salary are dead end for the long haul. Of course, she didn't.
I like my new job. It's a good fit, not great, though. I wish I stuck it out at the other place and saw my complaint through. I feel like I gave her what she wanted by leaving. I was on a good track and sometimes I think if I stuck it out a little longer things would have turned out better. I don't know. For those who have been through this, did you regret leaving what you worked so hard for? I had every right to be there, if not more, than she did. I've had ill-fitting jobs here and there-- this was not one of them. She stunk at her job and was not well-liked. If she left few, if any would miss her. But I was the one who had to go. Sigh.
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6 Comments
6 Comments
Brianna Lucatorta
16
02/12/21 at 7:38AM UTC
Feeling this way currently! Trying to decide to stay or go all because of my boss. I’m pretty sure she strongly dislikes me and I will never get promoted being under her. I’m sorry you are regretting your decision or still pondering regretting. It’s just a bummer there isn’t an eject button for a crappy boss!
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Anonymous
02/12/21 at 8:17AM UTC
I am living the same situation, for 5 years now. I love my job, i am really good at it, but my boss, an older man, less qualified, tries his best to make me vanish. My complaints did not help me in the long run. And now, during covid, he had the perfect opportunity to remove me from all the projects, making me insecure and angry. I wish I could find a way out. But, I love the job and the benefits (I am a mother of two babies) and I am just stuck.
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Camille Galoso
21
Reporting Manager in Jersey
02/12/21 at 1:17PM UTC
I have been in the same situation and its very discouraging and feels like the only way to get through it is to change jobs. But I didn't. What I did instead was to try to get thoughts from friends, colleagues, and family just so I can distance myself from my emotional impulses and get a more pragmatic or realistic view. And luckily for me, they did raise interesting and actionable points that I could apply to my relationship with my boss. Luckily, it worked, my boss was able to finally recognise my contributions AND accept me as a valuable and trustworthy member of the team.
Things of course didn't magically solve itself overnight. It took a year or more to improve my relationship with my boss and at times I just wanted to give up. But because I've realised that I do love what I'm doing and I love the team and there's hope that I can change things and I'm willing to spend time fixing it, I stood by my decision and stuck it out.
Its different for every person and there's always unique factors to consider but I think at the end of the day, if you feel like the sum of all other factors why you like being in the company is greater than the idea of working for that particular boss, there's always a way of making the situation better for yourself.
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Anonymous
02/12/21 at 2:14PM UTC
Original poster here. Thank you so much for all of your feedback. The decision to leave was not easy. I've left jobs before where I had absolutely no desire to grow there nor any real attachments in terms of colleagues I was close to and enjoyed teaming with. I do have to remind myself, though, that my former boss really did go out of her way to mess with me. At one point, one of the top managers I never worked with on anything suddenly took interest in critiquing my work. She was very close with him, so I always felt he got involved at her request. It was pretty unpleasant. He should not have been so involved-- he usually never was involved in low level work-- but I do believe they were trying to gang up on me and it was her idea. When I remember situations like that, I do start to question how easy it would have been to stay, even with allies and an HR complaint that at least put her on notice.
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Anonymous
02/12/21 at 4:51PM UTC
Second guessing your decision is natural because you loved the work and colleagues. But it is fairytale thinking. The odds were stacked against you and your success. As you can see, she's not going anywhere and wields enough influence to sway top management against certain people, ideas, etc.
You might have won a slight victory in following you complaint but would have spent a lot of emotional energy too. At the end of the day a smack on the wrist would not have slowed her down.
1 Reply
Anonymous
02/12/21 at 7:10PM UTC
OP here again. Yes, the conclusion I've come to is that it takes a special contempt for a high-level, six-figure earning person to go after a low-level staffer who actually does a great job. As sad as I was to leave the position, I don't know if there would have been any way to work around that situation.
User edited comment on 02/12/21 at 7:10PM UTC
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