I need a new job, I need a new job, I need a new job, I NEED a new job, but my goodness is it difficult to network in my position.
I need a new job, but my job can't know I need a new job. I have my LinkedIn set to premium and "open to new opportunities", but that is as far as I can really go without news getting back to my boss - which would make my situation that much worse. I wrote a status on Facebook about my search for new opportunities, but blocked an extensive list of people that could leak the information to my employer. Then I couldn't sleep for a week out of fear I forgot to block someone so I deleted it.
The reason why I need a new job as well as the reason that I wish I had the privilege to publicly network on career platforms is because my boss is too dependent on me to do her work and too self centered and manipulating to process my current will to leave. If I leave, our already overworked department will crumble because she doesn't have a clue as to what I do. Not because I don't tell her, seek her advice, make improvements to, or review them with her - but because she doesn't care. She doesn't listen to me on a genuine level - she's an amount of of self-serving that I didn't know was possible, and it's honestly been the most disappointing and depressing three years of my life despite the fact that I am making the most money I ever have. I dealt with the stress at first - but I am breaking. I am at the point where I would settle for a lower position elsewhere if it meant a healthier work environment, yet I still need to earn a living wage in NYC.
To make a very long story still long, I was thrust into the tip top of the food chain when I worked my way up from a bank teller to an executive assistant for the VP of operations. I worked hard in my new position, receiving two promotions and perfect performance reviews along with it. I doubled my salary in 5 years since starting as a teller. I was jaded at first. I saw warning flags but spent my energy proving my worth.
So why am I absolutely miserable? Why have I been job searching for the last year? Because I work for an organization that consists of executive hypocrites who berate their retail workers, stating they must "grow with the job" and how "their job isn't the same as it was 20 years ago and they have to be business and tech oriented not just focused on service" - yet these same people earn in the hundreds of thousands of dollars (before bonuses, of course) and cannot understand the difference between a PDF and a PowerPoint file, with their last notable credential being a bachelor's degree from 1983. An incredible portion of my day is spent defending and explaining why they are incorrect in questioning the accuracy of my work because my superiors lack basic skills such as navigating an excel spreadsheet. It's like I'm in the Twilight Zone. How do I even approach conflict resolution when the issue is that my superiors are incompetent? I'm sure letting them know that will do great for me...
The Senior VP, one of maybe 4 executives on his level, which are all directly under our CEO, once called me into his office because he accidentally made a sentence bold in Word. I am all for helping others - but it is inexcusable for someone to make that salary and not brush up on the most basic computer skills.
My boss also has a habit of critiquing me about documents she created. She once gave me a document to copy into a PowerPoint, and as she presented (with our CEO there) she noticed it was an older draft. She ended up lecturing me for not thoroughly reading the document and noticing it was outdated, even though I had no involvement in creating it. I have had to explain how she was the one to do the things she was trying to coach me on countless times.
And days off? I'm harassed. I once received 8 Missed calls and two voicemails during an FMLA day where I was caring for my sick father. Most days I am called for things such as "where did you put such and such file?" - meanwhile it's a file shes accessed and created before I began working for her, and not to mention windows has this great feature called a search bar. She can't function without me because she spends her time in meetings and then spends hours talking about the drama that happened in the meetings until it's time for the next one. Then she stays at the office such long hours and cries how hard she works meanwhile I see first hand that if she would just do the work during the workday there would be no reason to stay. She needs me to prepare every ounce of data or she won't know the status of how we are functioning as a branch network.
*PS: sorry for any typos or grammar errors, I have to get going but I am grateful for the anonymous feature on this platform because I needed to get this off my chest after a night of job-hunting.