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I'm 32 & already burnt out
I thought my feelings were just a result of our world's current environment, but I think I'm really feeling burnt out. I tried to deny it at first because I feel like it's far too early in my career to be feeling this way. I could be working for 30 to 40 more years! I'm starting to panic.
Has anyone else faced burn out early in their career? How did you tackle it? I'm in IT and I'm fairly sure I want to keep going with this career path, but I feel so unmotivated and lack the passion I had when I started.
Caitlin Maddock-Bahr
Social Media and Digital Strategy Manager
24
07/16/20 at 6:50PM UTC
I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, but please know you are not alone. For a long time I thought my feelings of burnout were simply a function of my anxiety creeping in, but the more I've read into this recently (within the last year) I know now that burnout is a big part of it. Don't wait until you hit rock bottom and can't find that spark anymore!
Couple questions to consider:
- Have you been leveraging your PTO? If not - taking a week off or a few long weekends in a row is incredibly helpful.
- Have you established boundaries between work and life? I've been especially guilty of this the past few months with the new working from home situation, and really had to step back and block my calendar for things like lunch (!) and set hard start/stop times for my day. Don't let yourself get to the point of physical illness.
- Do you have hobbies or passion projects outside of work? Can you give those some more time? That could give your brain a break and help you regroup.
- Are you a part of any professional organizations in the IT space, or peer groups, where you could find growth and learning opportunities? Maybe something there will help you reignite or find a whole new passion in the field?
I recently participated in a workshop on creating your life purpose, which I found incredibly inspiring. Here are a few tidbits that helped me think deeper about what I want my legacy to be:
- Think about your dreams, your dream life. Write down the advantages you have to bringing that to life vs. the obstacles you have to reaching it.
- Make a physical list of things you commit to saying NO to.
- Find a mentor - schedule regular check-ins.
Also try re-framing your thought process - you have plenty of time to discover what you want to do with your career. You can stay in IT and still change your industry. You could decide to teach. You could switch careers entirely. Be open to the possibility that your passions can change, don't feel stuck. You are writing this book, you get to decide on the story line ;)
Kimberly MoonClinical Research Professional
603
07/16/20 at 5:26PM UTC
I think you are in good company here. I'm sorry you're feeling burned out. Try not to get too hung up on age and number of years ahead of you here. If you google burnout and any age group, you will see lots of articles and research about this topic and you will see that people are burning out at all ages, even in their 20's! This burnout is not a reflection on you and certainly doesn't speak to any kind of failure on your part. Many people don't think burnout will happen to them and so they don't recognize the signs when they begin.
I'd like to suggest a few things and then share my story with you. Firstly, I suggest you sit and reflect (and maybe jot down some notes) on what you are feeling, how long you have been feeling that way, and what could be making you feel what you feel (what are the biggest pain/trigger points for you at work). For example, are you feeling demotivated because your current role has no opportunity for growth or development? Or maybe you are feeling like you work so many hours and you aren't appreciated? Or maybe you are in a toxic environment? Maybe you stopped doing a hobby or activity that brings you joy and so you are unfulfilled outside of work? Whatever it may be, zeroing in on it will help you.
Secondly, I would urge you to do the same thought/writing activity, but this time with positive ideas in mind. What makes you feel fulfilled? What makes you feel calm? What helps you decompress from work? What can you do to do more of these things and/or merge them into your work life? Maybe you like to paint, but work is so busy that you never have time to do that anymore. Maybe you love to hike and be outdoors and a career in IT isn't allowing you time outside of a windowless room.
Thirdly, if you think it is getting bad, know that burnout is now an official diagnosis and is recognized with its own ICD9 (medical code for billing) and is recognized by WHO. This is important because now you can go to a doctor and get help for this! Seeking help in terms of advice from a therapist, meditation classes, etc. can all be helpful and give you additional tools to help you work through the burnout.
Now I'd like to briefly share my story. I've been in biotech for 13 years. I worked hard, climbed up the ladder, and tried to give everyone around me a helping hand. I'm a perfectionist and I saw possibilities to improve processes and procedures everywhere I went. I do my job well and take great pride in my work and my teams. In the midst of all of this I started neglecting myself. It started small in my early 20's with me skipping a gym workout here and there. Then it got bigger where I started cancelling plans with friends because I had to put in overtime. Then it was all consuming. I didn't plan a vacation for years for fear that I would be letting people down at work. I immediately responded to messages and was always available. I started getting to work at 4am and leaving around midnight every day just to stay afloat. The sad thing is that as people saw how productive and thorough I was, they gave me more work. I spoke with my managers and asked for help, a reduction in workload, or any advice. I was brushed off time and time again and I just kept producing. My husband gave me some advice that I wish I had taken - Start dropping the ball to prove to them that you're buried; if you keep producing great results, they won't take you seriously. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Instead, I left and tried again at another company. I didn't change my behavior and the result was the same.
Throughout this process I noticed I was having a hard time sleeping and when I did sleep I had nightmares about work. I felt guilty if I wasn't tethered to my laptop and even though I finally booked a vacation after years of not taking any time off, I ended up working through the entire vacation.
I started getting sick A LOT. I was catching a cold every 2-3 weeks and this went on for about 2 years. I was run down and my body was telling me to stop. I didn't listen. The doctors I saw told me that stress and burnout were setting in. I didn't listen. I have migraine and my headaches started getting worse. I was then told that my body was under so much stress and was so inflamed that I was heading toward developing an autoimmune disease. I still didn't listen. I did what I could here and there for my health, but was not consistent with my self care and put other's needs and wants before my own.
Fast forward to today - I'm finally listening. What did it take for me to listen? I was laid off a couple of months before my wedding and the stress of the layoff pushed me over the edge. I started having anxiety, headaches worsened, and I was diagnosed with a full-blown autoimmune disease, in addition to several other issues that are attributed to stress and trauma. I have been using my time off work to focus on self-care and reevaluate my choices.
Please learn from my terrible choices and don't let yourself go down this path. Listen to your body, recognize the signs, and take good care of yourself. You'll figure all of this out! Also, remember that you may be working for many more years, but no decision you make now has to be permanent. If you want to stay in IT, do it! If in a month or a year or 5 years you want to make a change, do it! If you want to make another change after that, do it! This is YOUR life. Go live it, girl!
KelliHelps senior-level women make career changes
1.46k
07/15/20 at 2:19PM UTC
You mentioned, "I'm fairly sure I want to keep going with this career path." Sit with this for awhile and try to determine why you want to stick with this career path. What do you love about it and what do you hate? Are you sticking with it because that's what you went to school for and feel like you should? Happy to work through these questions with you if you need someone to help guide you.
Kelley Shields, Career Happiness CoachWork shouldn't be a 4-letter word.
98
07/14/20 at 5:15PM UTC
Hi, you are not alone! So much of our culture and approach to work is set up to prime us for burnout - even if you want to stay on your career path. I personally ended up having to take both short term disability, and then a sabbatical, because of burnout!
Because of that experience and how freaking miserable and awful it was, I now work with clients whose unhappiness at work is spilling over and making them unhappy in their lives. Often, my clients need a complete career transformation, but some of them start feeling better quickly in their current job with just a few shifts. I'm happy to just talk and see if it feels like we'd be a good fit to work together and help you, or if I know of any other resources that might help. (www.kelleyshields.com) I also know a couple great burnout coaches that I'd be happy to recommend if that would be of more interest.
Jackie GhedineCoach for Gen X Women | Jack Russell of Humans
5.8k
07/09/20 at 11:51AM UTC
You are not alone! Burnout is real and it has nothing to do with age. There are so many factors at play here.
As young children, we are taught to power through, to have 'grit' to dig in and don't quit and we take those beliefs with us into our adult world and apply it with such verve that we numb ourselves to the warning signs of burnout.
The demands on our lives, both career and personal, continue to increase and women (even more so than men) tend to put their needs last.
This is a time to take some time. This doesn't have to be a leave from work, just create space for your to figure out what can reignite your energy, what is actually draining you and burning you out all so you can start making different choices.
I'm a career and life coach and would be happy to offer you a zero cost coaching session to help you through this! Feel free to reach out to me at [email protected]
Tiffany PittmanContent Specialist/Event Manager
212
07/08/20 at 10:35PM UTC
I applaud you for seeking help. I feel your pain! I've experienced burnout a few times throughout my career. Being a writer and TV producer for over 15 years has required long hours, waking up at 3 am for productions, and working holidays and weekends. It was non-stop! My brain was fried along with my momentum. It wasn't until I was laid off from a company and had no immediate work opportunity in the TV industry that caused me to do something different. I accepted a port shopping consultant position on a cruise ship in the Caribbean.
It was a short stint, but the connections and training in sales promotions and public speaking were so valuable. This experience opened me up to the idea of what I call a "work sabbatical." This is where you take your skills and service them in a completely different industry that you don't see yourself being in for a long time. Because it's a very different role, you will be challenged in certain areas, but also acquire new skills and resources. Since you know that it's a temporary opportunity from the start, you'll feel less pressure about making mistakes than you would do with your industry work. You can let go, do your best (still give excellent value), and have fun.
I did the sabbatical thing a few times after that such as being a jewelry brand ambassador for one month in Juneau, Alaska. Right afterward, I went into a contract TV position. That time out from my industry renewed my energy, shifted my perspective, and gave me a newfound appreciation for what I do. I went into the TV position feeling like a rockstar and ready to take on the responsibilities.
From what I know, burnout is a sign that you need to pause and slow down. You can stay on your current course and do it "differently" in a way that will renew your mind and body. Or you can veer off your path for a bit and do something "different." You don't necessarily have to do a work sabbatical on the high seas or in another state. There are probably opportunities in your area – even virtually. I hope sharing my experience helps and that everything will work out for you. Enjoy the journey!
Annie LimWriter/Editor in NYC area
580
07/08/20 at 7:53PM UTC
I've felt burned out since high school and, sometimes, I feel like I'm still recovering from it. There's no such thing as being too young to feel burnout, and there's no need to panic, either! I do believe that this feeling may stem from not only your job but also the current world climate (including working remote).
You're on the right track: try to figure out what is draining your energy and what lights you up. This can help you figure out the problem areas. Put some time aside to write these down in two lists, so you can adjust accordingly. For example, if you're getting too many emails from work, you can figure out a way to organize the emails, fix a schedule for when you will tackle them, or talk to your company about better communication. You may even find that there are more or less problems related to your work than you initially thought!
Otherwise, self-care in general is a great way to fight burnout. If you take care of yourself and your energy, you will be a strong enough fire to never burn out. Find what you can use as kindling to keep the flame strong and steady. It can be meditation, journaling, yoga, jogging, meeting up with friends, hobbies, or therapy.
For me, what's helped is not engaging in work outside of hours (which I know isn't possible for everyone), keeping respectful boundaries, organizing all my tasks, doing passion projects on the side, and fully relaxing whenever I have breaks.
I hope this helps! Good luck! I know how painful burnout can be, but I'm rooting for you :)
User deleted comment on 07/08/20 at 10:27PM UTC
Melissa Martinez Lavandero
31
07/08/20 at 5:56PM UTC
I took two months of leave away from work when I was in my mid-40s. Before getting to that point I tried changes around my personal life (working out, running, joined a club, etc.). Nothing worked to prevent me from feeling like I was drowning, so I sought mental health support. Finding the courage to ask for leave was the best decision I have made in my entire career and possibly in life. Like Barb, it took me almost those two months to feel like myself again. When I first returned to work, I felt like my old self: assertive, productive, and creative. During this time off I completely cut ties to anything work-related, I changed my daily activities, and continued with mental health support. I realized that the problem was so much bigger than being overworked and tired, but that my values didn't align those of the organization. I was successful but I couldn't see or enjoy it because I was unhappy, and that spilled over to my family life at home. Needless to say I updated my resume and began reaching out for other professional opportunities. Meanwhile, I was grateful to my boss and colleagues for picking up the slack during my absence. I knew that I needed to go but pay and benefits were keeping me hostage; I was undermining myself. I finally got another opportunity and I took it. By the time I left, four other colleagues had left the organization. Bottom line is that work is important but it doesn't define me and I have a choice on how to react when things happen. I think that it's inevitably for work demands to get harder as we progress professionally and become experts in our field. The steps I took worked for me. I was afraid at first, but I was very discreet on what I said at work, and they were very respectful too. Good luck.
Barb HansenStartup Product, Growth & Strategy
6.67k
07/08/20 at 3:49PM UTC
My second (and current) career is in tech startup. I started in product/dev, moved into product leadership and now I am a co-founder in a funded startup. I LOVE product work and I'm really good at it.
For my first few years in tech, I worked very long hours. I started in tech in the mid-90s when the internet was just a baby.
I was in my mid-thirties (I had already worked for about 15 years in healthcare before I pivoted to startup), I am a woman and I had two young children (not your typical startup employee) and I was determined to work harder, learn quicker, and be the employee that was invaluable and if I wasn't invaluable, I would learn as much as I could so I was set up for my next opportunity.
For me, the decision to "work more" was a double-edged sword. I rose up the management ladder, I was exposed to so many different experiences, I learned so much (my quiver holds many many arrows), I worked for amazing CEOs who taught me to be a better manager, and more.
But I also lost time with my family and friends, I forgot how to sleep (seriously, I don't sleep well anymore), I lost my health (no time for myself, lead to no exercise, and bad eating habits) and more...
After about 10 years of working too many hours - my brain just gave up. I was working, I was attending meeting, I was managing my staff, I was trying to get work done and I thought I was being productive -- but nope, I was just going through the motions. It was horrible.
I didn't know what was going on, I was losing my ability to think, I didn't enjoy my job anymore, I completely stopped doing the few things that I enjoyed outside of work (which was not good for my shaky marriage which did not survive) and I wasn't "present" enough to see what was going on.
I ended up taking a severance package from that company and it took me 3 months of not going anything to recover. Luckily my severance package allowed me to take a few months before I had to seriously look for another job. I still work in Product (because I found my love of startup product work again)
In hindsight, I should have stopped working so many hours years before I burnt out, gotten some mental health support and taken a leave of absence from work before things got too bad.
My advice:
- if you are burnt-out because of over-work or job-related stress, then get support now (and it sounds like you seeking help because you are asking your question here :) )
- spend some time thinking about what you love about your career (not what you love about your current job but what you love about you career)
- investigate IT-related positions (product, team lead etc) that keep you in IT but start to fire those brain-cells that aren't firing now
- look for a similar job in another industry or a different-sized company. If you work at a large fintech company, you might want to investigate working at a smaller (or a startup) in healthcare.
I wish you well and I applaud your ability to see what I couldn't see until it was almost too late for me.
Lady PeleRetired Project Manager
3.96k
07/08/20 at 3:36PM UTC
I've spent 40 years in IT, and multiple times throughout my career I've felt burned out. As long as the burn-out wasn't due to the corporate culture (in which case a change may be in order), what I did was first ask for a new project where I could learn something new, whether about the company or technology.
At other times, I added something new to my personal life. I took fun classes, whether painting or physical fitness. I took weekend day trips for a change of perspective. I updated some of my living space. Just adding something enjoyable to look forward to helped with the overall burn-out.
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