Took Risks to Grow and am Hitting a Wall - How do I Adapt and Recalibrate?
April 7,2023 at 6:21PM UTC (Edited)
TLDR: Mid 40s fundraising professional looking to move toward growth and change and instead walked into one of the most challenging periods of my career. Need advice and encouragement.
I left a fairly cushy long-tenured role in my field (fundraising) last year due to a lack of a path to more opportunities and lack of flexibility on their part (I had relocated out of state). I was a solid individual contributor, got promotions within role, but was not being groomed for leadership. Was a bit burned out on the organization and craving new life experiences.
I relocated to a larger city where there are lots of opportunities in my field but lots of candidates. The first job I took was lateral or even downward in title (and salary) but got me out and moving forward on a plausible path with purported leadership opportunities (“our eventual vision for the role”) at a name brand org. Sadly, it was a bit of a bait and switch. They didn’t have the bandwidth to thoughtfully integrate me or any interest in thoughtfully doing so, had a shockingly unhappy and toxic narc culture, and gave me assignments that felt like a path to nowhere. They liked where I previously worked, but didn’t seem to like ME.
I got out of there in a few months and luckily after some grinding and networking I had two job offers to weigh. The newer gig has a director title (no direct reports) nicer people, but they lean heavily on process and conformity and “high quality work” done on their terms and with their very voluminous style. Their meetings internally always run much longer than the allotted time. The culture is confident, established, but not super self aware. Lots to learn, which is great, but not much space to spread my wings just yet. Lots of SOP documents to learn and absorb and integrate into daily work. After several months I was feeling ok bordering on optimistic, if not inspired.
Got told this week in my 1:1 with my boss who “really likes me personally” that my probationary period was being extended by a period of months basically because they want to see “more from me.” Solid but somewhat subjective metrics were set out on paper. They can terminate me at any time. I’ve felt my bandwidth to do more than tread water in the role has been modest because of the way time and projects are apportioned. I've also detected that they believe they want you to take ownership and bring your experience, but put a lot of late stage hands in my work (the type that was considered quality at my old and very best in class org). I was hoping to work smarter, not harder, but I feel like the opposite is happening.
I’m scared and dejected and disappointed, unsure how to recalibrate.
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I am looking for a job due to business unit desition they are shutting down our entire Marketing team.
Please reach out to me. I have more than 12yrs experience.
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I'm wrapping up my toxic job this Friday
Throughout my tenure, my manager has proven to be one of the worst I've ever encountered. Despite my temporary status in the position, I've accumulated nearly five years of experience leading teams.
It became apparent early on that she lacked leadership experience, having transitioned from journalism to communications without a background in marketing. Despite my efforts to engage her in defining our team's vision, roles, and operations, she consistently resisted. Matters escalated when she began circulating rumours about me to an external government department, which eventually reached both me and the team. One team member bravely came forward to disclose the situation.
In response, I initiated a leadership program that included a Hogan 360 review. Unfortunately, my manager's lack of experience led her to underestimate the consequences of her actions, including the revelation that I would review her results. The discrepancies between her scores and those of her colleagues were stark. In areas where I excelled, she marked me as "NA," while in areas where she perceived she could manipulate me, such as "is a respectful person," she rated me highly. This manipulation only added insult to injury, reinforcing a toxic dynamic where compliance was prioritised over genuine feedback.
Through therapy, I've come to terms with the trauma of this experience and now find myself filled with a righteous anger.
Despite these challenges, I've managed to secure an excellent new role that surpasses both my temporary position and my manager's role. My focus now shifts to ensuring she never has the opportunity to exert power over me again.
Should I email HR and document my grievances, even though I'm leaving on Friday?
Is writing a scathing Glassdoor review an appropriate course of action?
Should I bring my concerns to the attention of the government department or the CEO? Would blocking her on mobile and LinkedIn offer some peace of mind?
What would you do?
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How much negotiation is reasonable?
At the beginning of the process, very rich company said their budget was 80-90k. I said that was below my desired salary but would be willing to learn more about the total compensation, etc. I was laid off a few months ago and making 115k - I was hoping to at least come close but this market is insane. It's the same job responsibilities but this new job's title is "lower" in the industry hierarchy.
Anyway - I was offered the job - yay! They offered 90k and I found out their benefits are not great. No 401k match, no bonus, couple weeks PTO.
I'm happy they offered me the top end of their budget. I need a job so I'll take it but... what can I work with here? I clearly can't come in saying I want 115k.
All insight appreciated. Thank you.
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Can you guys help me out?
I'm preparing for a presentation and I need more feedback to this one question. Please! And, Thank you in advance!
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HR is my manager.
I work for a small company and my reporting manager is HR. My manager is extremely unprofessional, dismissive and combative. Should I talk to the CEO or just start looking for a new job?
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I am turning a new leaf in life. For some backstory I've been at a job I hate for about a year now- it's my first 'big girl' job out of college- I broke up with the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with at the beginning of the year, and struggle with anxiety which was only exasperated by the previous mentioned. I've never been so low.
So at the beginning of February, I took a step back. From everything. From the grief of the break up, from the job search I started in March of last year, from worrying so much about my job and how terrible it makes me feel. Literally from everything. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can breathe and refocus.
I'm jumping back into the job search next month because I know the misery from my current job will soon take over again, but as of right now, this is the most optimistic I have felt in months.
Now that I've gotten all of that venting out of the way, I'd love to hear how you all stay positive in tough times in the professional space? And how do you make sure it doesn't affect your work, interviews, etc? I consistently see others seeking advice on obtaining jobs and the current job market, but I'd like advice on maintaining a positive attitude when times get tough personally and professionally. Because I didn't fair well the first time around.
Hopefully, this all makes sense. All advice, words of encouragement, and everything in between are welcome.