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Boss Problems
UPDATE: thank you all for your suggestions. I believe it may be taken care of now. ?
If I feel like my boss has a personal problem with me, should I alert HR?
Robin Stone
Work with executive leadership team
601
06/10/20 at 11:28PM UTC
What makes you feel they have a “personal” problem with you? I’d love to comment/offer guidance but do you have any examples?
Anonymous
06/09/20 at 5:27PM UTC
HR's primary purpose is to serve to implement policies and procedures in line with current government standards to protect the company from liability. I agree with the other coaches who have said, they really are more on the side of management, than the employee. In these situations, it is important to go to HR to establish a paper trail, especially because the trail can later be used to file a claim with the EEOC and request an investigation, if it comes to that. The documents generated and the emails you send are things that are "discoverable" later in an investigation or if you file a case. Please note, there are statutes of limitations on the amount of time you have to file a claim. And in many cases, that statute is very short. I would recommend you document early and often. When I was in a similar situation, I had to decide if I would pursue my EEOC claim, or let it go, for my own mental health. I am not really much of a fighter, so I decided I couldn't proceed, but perhaps this information might help you. The EEOC generally won't get involved, nor will the courts, if you have not exhausted the avenues open to you within your organization, and that includes HR.
Anonymous
06/09/20 at 5:06PM UTC
If you go to HR, be as objective as possible. Think like you're going to court, do some research before you go. HR does not know what is going on, or who's side they will end up on. Keeping notes in a daily journal and reviewing later can help.
It also might help you to check perspective. Thinking about the company and the culture can help with perspective. Also, companies have many reasons for placing people in management positions. There is a lot more thought, typically, for those roles than those who report to managers. Whatever the root of the issue is between the two of you, could be a growth area for your Manager. We all have growth areas, and want to be treated kindly around them. This takes a lot of humility. If you can get this, it will serve you. Managers don't always get to choose their employees, another perspective.
In addition to looking for another job, simultaneously you can review your daily journal. This time, if you can, try to look for ways you can improve your performance. This is your career. Own it! Maybe write out three things you can change about yourself or the way you do your work. It is said change begins with us. We cannot change others. Even if it doesn't help you for this job, pick universal qualities to help you during your search and the next job. You've got this!
Barb HansenStartup Product, Growth & Strategy
6.66k
06/09/20 at 4:19PM UTC
Short answer: Yes
Longer answer:
Write down your past experiences. Start to keep a daily journal with the issues that you see as vindictive. Before you talk to HR, figure out what you want -- do you want to be moved to another department? or another office? -- then talk to HR.
Katie MaloneSocial Media Manager + Mother to two daughter
1.28k
06/09/20 at 7:01PM UTC
Yes, this! I had an issue with a boss before. KEEP your emails. Write down conversations. If you don't feel comfortable going to HR yet, ask a mentor or someone you trust at work (be careful) to see what that person's thoughts are on the situation. But document, document, document... cannot stress this enough.
Anonymous
06/09/20 at 4:17PM UTC
Hi,
I can totally relate. I’ve been trying to find another position for 2 years now. Document, document document!
Regarding HR, in my opinion they’re for the manager not the employee. I’m aware that I’m not the only staff member who has difficulties with this person and upper mgmt allows it. In their defense they may be doing something behind closed doors. Someone commented on leaving the emotion out and sticking to the facts. Easier said then done as everyone has their breaking point and we are human. Being subjected to a boss not a leader who doesn’t have your best interest and likes control it’s a hard pill to swallow on a daily basis. Especially when you know they’re being fake.
Anonymous
06/09/20 at 4:02PM UTC
I have been in this situation several times in my career. I have had a male manager not appreciate "No" for an answer. I went to HR and it backfired big time. In a recent company, I was being harassed by yet another male (a peer). I went to HR and it too, backfired. In the 1st situation, I had documentation, witness accounts, etc. to prove what I claimed. It turned out that 6 other employees stepped up with similar stories against the same manager. Instead of firing him, they just demoted him. In the 2nd case, they claimed that it was a personality issue of mine. They ended up promoting him! and eventually pushed me out. Either way, if you can't resolve the conflict with your boss because of your situation, HR is the best policy to follow. If you have an ethics department you can go there too. Despite my outcomes both not going well, I wouldn't change the approach of HR. Using them allows for a paper trail to happen. My best advice is stick to the facts and remove the emotion from the situation. That only clouds things up. If it becomes too toxic, rise above the position and either transfer to another area of business or role. You can also leave the company altogether.
Tiffany HutchinsonCounselor, Professor, Success Coach in GA
27
06/09/20 at 3:49PM UTC
YES! My boss had a personal vendetta against me for no reason and was literally trying her best to get me fired. If I didn’t go to HR early on, there wouldn’t have been a record of her targeting and harassing me. Going to your boss first is fine, but in my case, I went directly to HR for fear of even more retaliation.
Brandy BeauchampA day is successful if you have learned.
109
06/09/20 at 3:01PM UTC
It is always a good idea to talk to your manager first about your concerns in a professional manner but if you do not feel comfortable doing that, HR is always the best route to go.
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