My sister sent me this book. It’s tongue-in-cheek but cringing-ly relatable . Here are some images. I don’t have any connection to the book or anything (not advertising it ).
It is unsettling to me how much of this I have done...experienced myself over the years.
I have been been told I’m abrasive when communicating a necessary change.
I have, in my younger years (mid-1990’s) been told I was a distraction to the male population. I was wearing a pantsuit.
Recently I was criticized for getting a male colleague upset. This truly, as my southern grandma would say: fried my ass.
The satirical advice they give here is sometimes exactly what I’ve been coached to do.
I’m too old, wise and confident for this shit. When I was criticized for making him upset, my response was not emotional, defensive or explanatory. I practiced the pause and said “why do you think he feels comfortable coming to you to complain?” Redirected the criticism of me -which was truly a personal attack, turns out. This colleague has done this too many times over the last three years. I am attacked, ridiculed in mass emails (he likes to add everyone he knows to the thread) and been brought to tears. The advice I have been given? “Take it offline” “don’t answer his calls” “you know how he is try not to bait him”
All the ways I should change myself.