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I have been seeing so many posts here about struggling at work, not being seen, appreciated or efforts recognized. Sure, we all have had to deal with the micromanaging boss, the passive aggressive teammate, the paranoid and suspicious team leader. But what if you could control your own response to these folx? What if you had the courage to open up and listen differently, engage in new ways and learn to interact with all kinds of personalities? I wanted to share this with you, in hopes you find it helpful, at least as a starting point to changing your perspective. After all, you can't change others, but you can change your response to them! | Fairygodboss
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EK Whitcomb
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I Help Leaders Fix What's Broken
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Anonymous
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This is so relevant to what I am experiencing right now with my manager. He was recently promoted and it vacated his role which he and I had talked about my interest in. There were questions about whether it would be able to be remote and I was awaiting a response. To my surprise, he instead follows up with a colleague of mine who I am close with. She tells me he reached out to her about the role, how it’s remote, and that its posted. Then he stopped answering the phone when I called and cancelling meetings I scheduled with him. I was honest with him and told him I was disappointed with how he was handling everything. Maybe I was too honest but I have learned as a woman leader in retail I have to be more direct with my feedback. He still texts me but only when he needs something. I am someone that has led a number of the ideas and changes we have had in our new arm of the organization, I am a leader amongst my peers, and have executed my role at a high level. I know I could do this job and help elevate our company further but he’s a huge roadblock in this whole process and as my leader I expected more from him. I know I can’t change him so instead I am using some of the approaches above and will print that out to help me stay focused on what I need to do to keep moving forward.
EK Whitcomb
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I'm so glad you found this helpful! I'm also really sorry that you're going through this. Mindset changes are very powerful. If you can remove the negative narratives you have running in your head and show up as if you are valued, appreciated and have control over your experience, you will lift a great burden off yourself. I do think it is critical to have tough conversations, so preparing well, being direct while tapping into emotional cues you receive in interactions with him will go a long way. You don't know what is in his mind, so it's just as easy to assume he's doing the best he can as it is to assume he's out to get you. COURAGE is everything - be strong, honest, approachable and transparent where it makes sense. Happy to help any time.