At the beginning of 2019, I started making a sincere effort to stop apologizing unnecessarily in my emails ("Sorry for the delay in response" or "Sorry, can you please send the attachment" etc.). As women we were often brought up believing that being pleasing to people and not inconveniencing is paramount to being a lady. I am SO glad that there has been a shift in thinking regarding this. Times have changed! In my own practice, I have felt that there is a strength and freedom that comes with taking pause and reformatting language to reflect that there is no fault to possess, therefore there is no fault take on. Some good examples of language revision are in the image provided here. I hope this helps to encourage a shift in language and thinking for women in the workplace.

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Heather Macone

373

10/14/20 at 1:44PM UTC

Career

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At the beginning of 2019, I started making a sincere effort to stop apologizing unnecessarily in my emails ("Sorry for the delay in response" or "Sorry, can you please send the attachment" etc.). As women we were often brought up believing that being pleasing to people and not inconveniencing is paramount to being a lady. I am SO glad that there has been a shift in thinking regarding this. Times have changed! In my own practice, I have felt that there is a strength and freedom that comes with taking pause and reformatting language to reflect that there is no fault to possess, therefore there is no fault take on. Some good examples of language revision are in the image provided here. I hope this helps to encourage a shift in language and thinking for women in the workplace.

Join the conversation...

Erin Fox-Ramirez

102

10/17/20 at 1:56AM UTC

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Language is so important but changing can be difficult. I found a Chrome extension called "Just not Sorry" that will underline certain phrases like 'I'm sorry', 'I just', or 'I meant' and suggest more appropriate alternatives. Having the extension remind me has been so helpful in changing the way I use my words. https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/just-not-sorry-the-gmail/fmegmibednnlgojepmidhlhpjbppmlci?hl=en-US

Maria Molinari

387

NSLS Executive Board leader/ QA Specialist

10/15/20 at 3:20PM UTC

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This is perfect thank you for sharing! Confidence is key and mistakes are going to happen. There is no reason to over apologize for something we all do.. make mistakes! I love the alternatives here, still professional, still give the vibe of an apology but the main thing I see here is these alternatives don't make you seem as though you are taking the blame! I LOVE IT! The error may not have even been yours, why associate yourself with the error?

Heather Macone

373

10/15/20 at 6:54PM UTC

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Exactly Maria! Thanks for noting!

Heather Macone

373

10/15/20 at 2:15PM UTC

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Rock on Beth!

Beth Warren

10/15/20 at 2:08PM UTC

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I dropped all of the "I'm sorry" language from my personal life several years ago. Stop apologizing for our own opinions/choices etc. Invitations to events and other things, apologize only if it's a situation where a true apology is required. State up front your position and then move on.

Michelle Markgraf

Directing new programs to success

10/15/20 at 1:56PM UTC

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I found that substituting the more formal "I apologize" for "I'm sorry" helps me evaluate the need to express remorse. Sometimes, a heartfelt apology is needed. Most times, though, I realize that I did nothing that requires an apology!

Heather Macone

373

10/15/20 at 2:05PM UTC

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Completely agree! There are definitely times when a polite apology is necessary and warranted. "I apologize" is a more professional way of writing it when it is necessary.

Kat

317

FGB VIP - Sharing knowledge, providing support

10/14/20 at 9:15PM UTC

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It's a good thing to remember when speaking as well. Women are often taught to state their opinions in a very apologetic way. "Maybe I'm not understanding this..." or "This is probably a dumb idea..." or "You might have already thought of this, but have you considered..." Don't apologize for having an opinion or an idea. It's fine if you need clarity or an explanation. But you don't have to apologize ahead of time. If it's something you don't get, chances are someone else doesn't understand either. Be direct with your comments and questions. It's not easy because women don't realize they're doing it, or how much time they spend apologizing when they don't need to.

Heather Macone

373

10/15/20 at 12:43PM UTC

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I completely agree with you Kat! It takes consistency in dropping that language from all communications to make the exercise effective. It may be uncomfortable at first and feel like you are going against your own grain, but its worth it!

Nassima

Senior OPC Product Engineer @ Siemens France

10/14/20 at 4:47PM UTC

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Great!!! I love it!!

Ainsley Kuppler

Director of Product, NJ

10/14/20 at 4:35PM UTC

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Love this! My go-to now is "Thanks for your patience" instead of apologizing

Tiffany Smith

10/14/20 at 5:08PM UTC

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I like that better too!

Tiffany Smith

10/14/20 at 4:23PM UTC

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This post couldn't be more timely. I just spent my entire morning being apologetic, respectful, inclusive, and supportive ONLY for my manager to slap me in the face and tell me what I shared has no value. I am only valuable when I make things easy and don't "rock the boat," so to speak. I'm left feeling insecure and devalued for sure. :(

Gillianne Hetrick

342

HR Manager & Non-Profit Director

10/14/20 at 5:06PM UTC

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When someone tries to make you devalued don't let that become your internal dialogue. You have lots of value, and valuable input.

Tiffany Smith

10/14/20 at 5:09PM UTC

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Thank you! I certainly need this reminder. You don't matter has been on repeat all morning...

Heather Macone

373

10/15/20 at 12:40PM UTC

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Hi Tiffany, I am so sorry you had that experience. I second what Gillianne noted!

Kate McDonald

419

Founder + CEO of Broadreach Career

10/14/20 at 3:59PM UTC

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Yes! I LOVE this! I remember being in the middle of the jungle of Costa Rica responding to a work email (Starting with "My apologies for the delay") and my boyfriend said, "What are you doing? You don't need to be responding to that right now." We shouldn't have to apologize for living our lives. If we don't take time for work-life balance, we will not be able to fully show up for either.