I’m not sure if this is a call for advice or just to simply vent.

Anonymous

September 24,2021 at 12:57PM UTC

Welcome to Fairygodboss!

We’re the largest online career community helping women achieve their career goals. Gain access to articles, jobs, events, and a supportive network of women and allies. Membership is free, always.

I’m not sure if this is a call for advice or just to simply vent. I am 20 yr business leader that is being pushed out of my role (after less than a year) and this is the second time with two diff companies. I left a long time career at a company where I had much success (promotions, excellent performance, positive reputation, etc.) I accepted a role under a different leader that turned out to be a terrible role and leader. I was asked to stepped down from her exec role and I ultimately decided to leave with severance. 15 years of success down the drain after 6 months of turmoil. They ended up replacing my role with at least 3 people and the staffing I requested and was denied was suddenly was made available once I was gone. Now a couple of years later I am working for yet another leader in another role that is not set up for success. This time im being more vocal-Raising risks, not just sucking it up or pretending like I can resolve this on my own. The problem is my manager is not interested, nor does she respect what it takes. She has questioned my abilities, focus, commitment and integrity-all while I push forward working all times of day-for what? I receive regularly positive feedback from other stakeholders. It’s crazy to me. This is a unsafe and toxic environment. On the flip side I can’t ignore this is happening again and am constantly evaluating myself, actions and what part I play and what I should be doing differently. I do know that regardless of those items, I do not deserve to be mistreated and disrespected. For anyone going through something similar, my heart goes out to you.

Why women love us:

Daily articles on career topics
Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
Advice and support from an authentic community
Events that help you level up in your career
Free membership, always

12 comments

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

12 Comments

Join the conversation

AnonymousSeptember 24,2021 at 2:57PM UTC
Been there. Feel for you. I was thrown out like a dishrag. Howeverrrrr, I urge you to keep looking. I found a great and supportive leader who always has my back now and puts wind in my sails! It too can be your story…so chin up sister! Your gut is letting you know it’s time to find a better place.
AnonymousSeptember 25,2021 at 2:40AM UTC
Can you reach out to your previous employer where you felt successful and see if there are any potential openings?
AnonymousSeptember 25,2021 at 12:58PM UTC
I am going through something very similar right now. It really matters if you have supportive leaders, and have the team you need be set up for success. There is no I in TEAM so the fact that they are blaming you for the team failures (when it wasn't set up right in the first place) is just them looking to point the finger and blame someone (instead of themselves). I know it is hard, but try your best not to take it personally - they would blame anyone in this position. You deserve support and respect from your leadership - how do they expect you to do well otherwise?
Marguerite Thibodeaux, Leadership & Career CoachSeptember 26,2021 at 12:52PM UTC
Congratulations for recognizing that this is not necessarily a you thing; it takes a lot of well-earned self knowledge to know your skills and strengths well enough to not question your self worth under a new and less than ideal leader.
With the limited info you provided, I recommend starting a series of conversations with your manager with genuine curiosity about what she expects from you. Bring her your examples of great feedback from stakeholders and the results you’re driving and ask, “You don’t seem as pleased with my results as some of my other stakeholders. Here’s what I’m doing and how I’m doing it (highlighting your awesome work and effort). What do you think I should be doing different and how can you help me do that?”
It’s a leaders job to help their team succeed.
I’m an executive coach and leadership trainer, and no one deserves to be set up to fail, especially not leaders. Y’all affect so many lives around you, not to mention you yourself, of course, deserve to be happy. I’d love to offer you a free coaching session to get you into a better place, absolutely no catch. Just one FGBer helping another. If you’re interested, message me.
KathySeptember 26,2021 at 4:18PM UTC
In my experience, many people are promoted into a management role for all the wrong reasons (brown nosing, friendship, gender bias, etc). These managers do not perform as leaders but instead are incompetent and struggling in their role.
Instead of encouraging their subordinates to excel, they view them as a threat. This is especially true if they are more competent, perform at a higher level and excel in a variety of ways that threatens their manager’s ego and is perceived by others as superior.
Hence, they target their subordinate by belittling and otherwise sabotaging their contribution.
AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 4:54PM UTC
Been there too. The best leaders empower other leaders: most leaders want followers. Your boss can tell you are not following and is challenging you. You can't really win in this situation - especially if they are clearly signalling that they do not wish to listen. Unless your manager has done something really wrong, HR is unlikely to help. Either you need to follow, and potentially be less yourself, or you need to look for another role where they will let you lead.
Sorry.
KathySeptember 28,2021 at 3:25PM UTC
I don't see how anyone can 'follow' a manager who is chaotic, non-communicative and incompetent without ending up with PTSD.
AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 6:59PM UTC
This was a situation I faced at one of the best paying jobs I ever had. I had a toxic manager who didn't understand our procedures, had poor communication skills not just with our department but with other managers, and did everything in her power to make sure nothing could be traced back to her so that someone else would be held accountable for her shortcomings. I came forward multiple times with solutions and improvments to the efficiency of our department because no one else wanted to "Rock the boat". I watched people ragequit retire on this manager and another 20+ year vet of the department transfer out. The three that remained couldn't leave because they needed the insurance benefit. I wanted to hold out until the FMLA rules changed so I could try to get myself "Right" and figure out how to deal with this person, but I was so physically, mentally and emotionally drained from trying to improve the department despite her that I had to walk away. that was six years ago and I haven't looked back. I haven't been able to find comparable employment since, and I'm convinced this woman gave me PTSD.
AnonymousSeptember 26,2021 at 11:17PM UTC
I am doing my dissertation on a phenomenon called the "glass cliff" which I had never heard of until recently. The phenomenon finds that women are often promoted or hired for roles in companies or departments in distress, however, they fail to receive the support required to be successful. Your description of the first position reminds me of a glass cliff position. I am fascinated by the phenomenon because my entire career has been in that vein. I have recently learned to look at jobs that I interview for from that perspective, ask better questions, and if it looks like there are issues that need to be "cleaned up", take a hard pass.
KathySeptember 27,2021 at 5:29AM UTC
There have been several online articles about the glass cliff phenoma. I definitely believe that its true.
Jaime Miller, CEO of GE Transportation was put into this type of role. She has to layoff thousands of people in 2017 when GE was floundering and the rail industry was severely depressed. (GE Transportation make locomotives. The division was sold to Wabtec in 2019.)
AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 8:59PM UTC
Interesting. I was once in a management/supervisory position where I was extremely overworked, but I just sucked it up and did it anyway. Then, when I was promoted, my previous position was split into two positions - both of them male. Interesting - no?
AnonymousSeptember 28,2021 at 10:23PM UTC
How tragically interesting!