I started a job in February of 2023 for a start-up.

I started a job in February of 2023 for a start-up. In October the start-up was shuttered and I was absorbed by the parent company rather than laid off ( I am grateful). Since then there have been some issues. I had one of our project managers tried to manipulate me into doing work I was not qualified to do. My new boss found out and we had a big meeting where he essentially got caught in the lie. My old boss who is still a contractor flipped his shit and yelled at him in front of most of the company. It was recorded so the CEO got to see the flip out. I just sat there quietly while it all went on. The tech team at the company rules the roost. At one point some of the tech team called me into a meeting, told me how much they hated my boss and told me not to tell him and if I did they knew they would know they could not trust me. I am 52 and thought it was so childish I didn't say anything to anyone. There has also been some very snippy behavoir from other people on the tech team for no reason. It is a small company and we don't even have an HR person. So there really is no one to tell. When my boss quit he tried to help me find another job with some of his contacts. My pay is really good at the company I am at now. But I do not have a lot of faith that they have tons of work for me for the long term, not to mention all the weirdness with the tech team. I mean, who behaves like that? I have gone through 4 interviews with another company, and I think it is a more stable and grown-up situation that I will grow into. It sounds interesting, and the team is excellent. It will be about a 40k pay cut in the best-case scenario. I don't want to cripple my family financially, but I am concerned about the behaviors that are allowed to go on in the current company. My husband doesn't understand why I just can't shut up and do my high paid boring job. I am not sure why I can't either but it doesn't seem like the right choice. Maybe I am wrong? I don't know what to do. I am expecting and offer from the new place by the end of the week. I don't know what to do. I always feel with a job you have to pick baggage you can live with. I am not sure I can live with things the way they are right now. I have tried to talk to my new boss but it is the end of the year and she doesn't want to get into it till January. Once I get the offer I will have to make a choice fairly quickly. What would you do? Outlive the current place and get the money and hope things improve or take the big pay hit for better mental health and job satisfaction? (Maybe)

Why women love us:

  • Daily articles on career topics
  • Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
  • Advice and support from an authentic community
  • Events that help you level up in your career
  • Free membership, always

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

7 Comments

Join the conversation
  1. Anonymous

    Think long term. During this horror job market, think strategically. Being let go will devastate your family's finances and the dysfunction of your current company may force that issue. Take care of yourself and do what you can to secure your future

  2. Anonymous

    First negotiate if you get an offer. Don’t write off it’s that large of a paycut. My background can tell you there is negotiation opportunities. Try that. If you get an offer, make sure you counter so you are only taking a 20k paycut. If they can’t meet you, decline. You also seem to be “in” with the tech team. Which is good if they rule the roost then fervently keep seeking a job that gets you close to your financial needs. No one should go to work and just earn a paycheck without gaining satisfaction from the work. You are not a robot, you’re human. And you want to be happy not miserable that you bring that home to your fam. Anyone can make money but we can never have more time. Use this time for the good of yourself first. Then that happiness will spill over to others.

  3. Anonymous

    If your family depends on your paycheck, a 40 K decrease will devastate your household, and it may take you decades to work back up to that pay grade. There are other ways to find fulfillment when you don’t get it from your job. Invest in time with your family, your friendships and explore new hobbies and even volunteer opportunities that help you feel more fulfilled. Meanwhile, keep your head down and keep looking for a job that advances you both professionally and financially. A panic move isn’t in your best interest if you are working towards a financially secure retirement as this is such a huge step down you likely won’t have enough working years to get back to your current level.

  4. Anonymous

    I just went through something similar. I’m taking a 55k pay cut for a job that is a much more solid company with incredibly nice people and great benefits, just low pay. I didn’t want to financially cripple my family but I also needed a job and the last two start-ups I worked for paid well but it was torture and mentally exhausting. I may have to get a side hustle but I’m 1,000,000 happier. Good luck!

  5. Anonymous

    You're right about one thing: all jobs have some kind of crazy, and the trick is to pick the crazy you can live with.

    Honestly, this situation doesn't sound so bad, comparatively. All jobs have odd characters that behave oddly. If you aren't being attacked in some way, it can be endured, if you're willing to. For $40K, I'd be wiling to.

    A question I have is when do you plan to retire? I had an adverse situation happen when I was 52. I seriously questioned whether to quit and look for another job or stick it out (my company allowed retirement as early as 57). The difference was I had a new boss who was a raging narcissist and was determined to get rid of me or at least take me down a peg or two. I decided to stick it out for similar reasons; I had 25 years in with the company and didn't think I could earn as much anywhere else. I did end up retiring early and don't regret it. Perhaps I would have been happier if I'd found another position and worked longer, even at lower pay. I don't know. But I think it makes sense to think this through to the end. Good luck to you.

  6. Anonymous

    i would speak to the CEO directly. He knows you and knows the power of your silence through that discomfort and uncomfortable situation that happened. So, Ask him for a short video call, look him in the eye. Let him know your concerns without complaining (once you get the other offer) and let him know another company has approached you but you prefer to stay if there is assurance that the toxic environment stops. If you cannot get that decide if your spouse will live and let live about the pay cut and move on.

  7. Anonymous

    If you get a job offer with a more dependable company I would leave.. I read your posting 3 times to get through all of the chaos.And it sounds insanely petty and broken...just leave.

Browse recent posts

Fairygodboss VIP
Achieve your career goals.
Be part of the largest online career community for women to find jobs, advice, and support — for free.
Fairygodboss members