How can I support my spouse who is being layed off?

11 Comments

1. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 3:33PM UTC

   You can make sure you have a strong budget and relieve his worries by taking on more work in the form of Overtime or a 2nd job.

   Help him update his resume and LinkedIn profile as well as booking some therapy for him to help him make the transition.

   You might also hire a career coach as well. This will help him see his value and get him focused on his future

   All these things can help him feel proactive and financially confident.

2. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 3:33PM UTC

   Hopefully, his staying on comes with a nice severance bonus for helping in the transition (sorry for the off-topic comment). You can look at it as a positive. He can now look for a new job without hiding the fact. He can also negotiate the start date if he gets hired quickly, AND there is a severance bonus. If the new job needs him before his transition is done, he has no requirement to stay, but will likely lose his severance, so he has a choice. Most people getting laid off don't have this option.

3. AnonymousApril 3,2023 at 3:41PM UTC

   Hello! I'm sorry you and your husband are going through this situation. I have been in that situation, but my husband was the one who had to lift me up, so I will tell you what worked and what didn't for me.When I told him that I was laid off, the first thing he told me was "that happens, it has happened to me, and it have happened to others who are now working. Please know, this is temporary, and for now come home to hug you". That moment, I stopped crying and went home still sad but feeling supported. I didn't like when he used to asked me, "did you apply for a job today? Did you find something you liked? Reach out this or that person" ... why I didn't like it? It was because I was doing it daily, and all these questions caused me anxiety, I told him and he stopped.He started asking me if I can go for a walk with him after his work, or if I can enroll to a gym for me to have a routine besides sending resumes all day. I did, going to the gym really helped me.Please try to be positive and patient with him, talk to him with love, sometimes you can offe, if he agrees, to send him jobs that you see he may like, or even to practice interviews.His selfsteem might be hurt, so try to not remind him those little things that bother you he does and he hasn't changed - like picking up his socks, or leaving the cup on the table, etc.- for now, that's irrelevant.Just by asking for advice it shows that you will be able to support him well until he gets a new job. This is temporary, both of you will be fine.

4. AnonymousApril 5,2023 at 12:25PM UTC

   Your spouse may be eligible to enroll in your state's "Dislocated Worker" program, for access to no cost career coaching services as well as funding for training if he needs to upskill. Just Google "Dislocated Worker" + "your state" to find options locally. As long as he has received his layoff notice, he would be eligible to enroll, it's a helpful program and can provide hope and options while he is still working. There are a multitude of virtual no cost training options for jobseekers (i.e. interviewing tips and more proactively utilizing LinkedIn for job search). LinkedIn Learning offers many tutorials on different subjects and is available at no cost through your local library catalog, which can be useful for some basic upskilling, but there are also tutorials on job search available on there. Anything your spouse can do right now to take back some of the control he lost when he received his layoff notice will do wonders. Also, NETWORK, NETWORK, NETWORK, use LinkedIn, talk to people working in companies of interest.

5. GirlBossanova934974April 5,2023 at 12:30PM UTC

   To be practical, I would focus on the job search starting now. You have a huge plus here. Your husband is still on the payroll for 2 months. He's getting paid to look for another job! Rejection is only a phone call away from turning into another job and better times. In the meanwhile, your husband has full access to his work files etc and should be downloading all that info to his personal computer in case an employer asks to see work samples etc. There are also two full months to go around the company patiently and diplomatically asking for GOOD REFERENCES etc etc.

6. AnonymousApril 5,2023 at 2:30PM UTC

   Careful with downloading work samples. They may be considered the property of the company.

7. GirlBossanova934974April 5,2023 at 9:33PM UTC

   More than 1 time, I have not had the opportunity to download work samples and make sure they are kept in a safe place. When the next job and big job interview came along, those work samples were needed.

8. Titra HamiltonApril 5,2023 at 3:04PM UTC

   I would also ask for LinkedIn endorsements while he is still in the building.

9. Ann BraunApril 5,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

   I'm so sorry you're going through this. Getting laid off sucks!!! I got laid off in November from a job that I loved. I was so sad and my depression and anxiety kicked in big time! I told my husband that I was just going to be stressed about the situation but that it wasn't about him. He was great about it. He didn't try to help since there wasn't really anything he could do, and he didn't bug me about why I was always in a bad mood. He just went about life as usual and eventually, I found another job. I think that's the best way to deal with it. Just give him lots of love and moral support.

10. Titra HamiltonApril 5,2023 at 6:35PM UTC

    When I was laid off in 2022, I was asked to do the same. I provided transition for four weeks to my backup/former direct report for who cried, devasted at the prospect of handling her heavy workload and taking on mine, too (She left the company a few months after I did, so there is that). I did the minimum to check the box and spent that time looking for another job and researching health insurance options. I also looked in to graduate school and even bartending school, both of which are on my "to do" list. I used a layoff as an opportunity to rest, reassess and reset. The good news is that this is a life change event, so you can add him to our health insurance if necessary. If he had no performance issues, then he has to know that it is not about him. It is about the organization changing direction, reducing cost, etc. Rejection is often protection. You two will persevere!

11. Joanna PoeApril 6,2023 at 2:31AM UTC

    Been there, both personally, when I was laid off, and on your side, when my SO was laid off. It's important to remind them it's not personal and rarely has anything to do with their performance. Although it's disheartening in a different way to consider, these decisions are divorced from humanity and purely about the firm's profit.

    Some random, practical tips: remind them to apply for unemployment as soon as their employment ends, even if they're receiving severance (if in the US). If there are any recurring charges for the family that are on their card/accounts, transfer them immediately to yours or to a shared account. It's okay to have a bit of meandering: some days when you just sit in bed reading or doom-scrolling, or watching hours of TikTok. If it goes on for more than a week, start giving them gentle, non-urgent honey-do lists. Remind them to leverage their network when it comes to looking for new opportunities and that they are not an entry-level employee just because they'll be starting somewhere new.