What do I do with an employee who is undermining me behind my back

38 Comments

1. KatAugust 31,2023 at 7:47PM UTC

   Why don't you fire him for insubordination? He's undermining you, so why should you quit? Being ambitious is one thing, but this is outright mutiny. He's lying, passing off your ideas as his own, meeting with people behind your back to undermine your ideas and processes. Document everything you can about his behavior and go to HR to find out how to start the termination process. If you can fire him outright, great. The sooner the damage to your reputation and systems ends, the better. If HR doesn't feel the case is strong enough, or they are unwilling (or unable) to support you in this, then I'd consider your long term prospects with this company.

2. AnonymousAugust 31,2023 at 10:48PM UTC

   It is difficult to prove as it is covert. I just recently started putting two and two together. But yes, maybe I need to explicitly state that from now he should not discuss this topic and our program without me.

3. AnonymousAugust 31,2023 at 8:46PM UTC

   As his supervisor, you can "counsel" him to cease his insubordinate and deceitful behavior. You don't have to explain or reveal your sources, only that managers have their own info network and you have been made aware of his actions in undermining your authority and position. Ask him to sign a counseling statement and put it in his file. Follow your HR's procedures, of course, but definitely document your discoveries and conversations to correct his behavior.

4. Heather CutlerAugust 31,2023 at 8:46PM UTC

   I agree with the other poster that you need to look at the insubordination route here. You also need to start attaching consequences to behaviors and follow through on them, not just make empty threats.

   But I think you have a larger problem on your hands: if your boss and others in the organization aren't alerting you to these issues, or directing this employee back through the reporting structure, he's been very effective at undermining your credibility and creating doubt about your leadership skills.

   Best of luck to you as you navigate this really difficult situation. It sounds like this has been going on for a while, it will need very swift attention to right this ship.

5. AnonymousAugust 31,2023 at 10:50PM UTC

   Yes, I am afraid that my credibility is undermined and I am wondering how much can I salvage. My previous boss would have immediately send him back to me, I don't know how much I can trust my current manager.

6. AnonymousAugust 31,2023 at 9:32PM UTC

   Make a giant deal, each time her does something undermining. Keep your ideas close to the vest. Document in email every idea. In every meeting reiterate enough of your idea so that everyone knows where it came from.

7. Tricia BurroughsSeptember 1,2023 at 1:37PM UTC

   It sounds like he is doing what you should be doing. As a new strategy program team manager you should be the one talking to everyone about what you are doing. That is what managers do while their team does the work. Whatever is taking up your time that you are not selling the idea and getting feedback from the organization you need to pass to this guy and start doing what he is doing. Your role is no longer keep your head down and get noticed for good work. Your role is to sell your program across the organization. I am sorry if that sounds harsh, but you need to level up. He is filling a role he recognizes you are not.

8. AnonymousSeptember 1,2023 at 1:51PM UTC

   I have to say I agree with this assessment. I don't think any manager or HR would seriously fire him for "insubordination" when he is socializing and advancing the same ideas that you should be doing - sounds like he's doing the job faster and more effectively and that is not grounds for termination. You should try to take control of the situation by telling him you know what he's been doing but from now on you will partner together on everything so that you are appropriately in control and in the loop. Frame it to him as something that's necessary for the strategic program to be as successful as possible, not as a slight to you (even though you understandably feel slighted).

9. AnonymousSeptember 1,2023 at 3:25PM UTC

   Tricia, this is excellent advice! I am not naturally a self-promoter, but as a manager or leader, have to be. And especially if you're employee is better at it than you. This exact situation happened to me so I had to learn how to embrace it. It's helped me with my team (they love that I talk about their work, of course), the owners, and the clients. Taking it on helped me further define my role and get to the next level.

10. AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 2:22AM UTC

    Even if I have to do more self promotion, for him to go tell others this is his idea, is dishonest and immoral. It feels like a betrayal - rather than suggesting that we both present and giving ideas to improve, he apparently scheduled meeting without saying anything. I don't like going out and self promoting until we are ready. I don't feel I can trust him.

11. Tricia BurroughsSeptember 4,2023 at 4:41PM UTC

    You still are not getting it. It isn't self-promotion, it is TEAM promotion when it is coming from you. And you need to seek feedback "before you are ready" in order to be ready.

    This guy obviously has skills, so lean into your relationship with him and ask his advice. It isn't easy and it can be very uncomfortable, but no one is going to fault him for what he is doing within the business. You can either go to war with him, which will most likely look worse for you OR you can leverage the situation and get that synergistic effect of managing someone who is good at networking and gaining buy-in - otherwise he will be managing you.

12. AnonymousSeptember 1,2023 at 8:53PM UTC

    Shut him down. He needs to know you won't put up with that, and if he wants to try it he can go elsewhere.

    People who steal others' work are the worst. Their own work sucks and they undermine the person who actually did it.

13. AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 12:46PM UTC

    I suggest you provide coaching, stay focused on completing your project/program, and provide ongoing communication to stakeholders.

    Do not fire him but make his role and responsibilities extremely clear to him and hold him accountable. The bottom line is he has more idle time than work - you must change that right away! Assign him some of your most time consuming, appropriate-level work with deadlines and require progress reports so he’s busy and helping you move your project forward.

    By the way, I completely understand wanting to roll out a perfectly completed project but a huge part of Change management is consistent Communication! Keep your stakeholders engaged in your progress and constantly mention your TEAM’s effort- that shuts down his plan to seek all the credit.

    Lastly, keep doing your absolute best and believe - have faith and watch how obstacles and those with malicious intent are naturally removed from your path. He will self destruct but it’s important that work does not fall with him so remain focused - don’t allow this distraction.

14. Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.September 2,2023 at 1:15PM UTC

    While your feelings about all this are completely valid and I imagine I might feel the same way if I was in your shoes, I want to offer you another perspective to think about: this new employee is not undermining your credibility or creating doubt in your abilities, he's simply picking up all of the slack that you have left for him to pick up. If you had kept those stakeholders up-to-date on the project, this new employee would have nothing to meet with them about. If you were actively sharing your new ideas with your boss, then they wouldn't be taking meetings with your direct reports to hear about these new ideas.

    Do you see where I am going with this? This new employee is ambitious, sociable, assertive, goes out of his way to keep stakeholders informed of progress on the work, and it sounds like he's also begun to develop a good working relationship with your boss. It sounds like he's everything you SHOULD be at your job. Instead of worrying about how he's covertly ruining your reputation at work, perhaps take notes from him and learn how you can improve on some of these soft skills so that you can elevate your own value, both to yourself and to your workplace.

    Side note: I'm a communication strategist and working with professional women who are stuck in uncomfortable work dynamics is one of my specialties. If you would like to work on some of these issues you're facing with this employee, feel free to send a private message!

15. AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 2:14PM UTC

    Hi: Lorna Rose

    I would love to talk with you privately about communication strategies.

16. Afo Ogbeyalu KaluSeptember 2,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

    I typically advise my clients to confirm all vital oral discussions in writing, including brainstorming sessions. This memorializes your contributions, and for those who process information better by reading, (as opposed to hearing) gives a clearer picture, or better grasp of the main ideas and their implications.

    You should also cc the individual you report to, and any relevant parties. This action would minimize the ability of others claiming credit for your ideas, and puts them on notice that you are professional, thorough, and not one to toy with . . . .

    www.aokconceptsunlimited.com

17. GirlBossanova934974September 2,2023 at 2:44PM UTC

    After several decades of experience, I have the following comments: 1) FIRST and foremost, where is this NEW employee getting all this time to do all of this internal "networking"? Wow! It seems like your roles have been reserved. If he has all this extra time, you are NOT keeping him busy. Time to add a lot more work to this busy little beaver's Inbox. 2) As an employee who has seen bosses steal my ideas for decades, take credit for my work, and outright torpedo me behind my back, I can somewhat relate to this employee. Shall we say, "Do it to them before they do it to you"??? Hate to say it but most companies resemble a TRIBE these days, not a business organization. 3) It is YOUR role to set up regular meetings with your superiors to communicate NOT ONLY your ideas but the ideas of your direct reports. If your direct reports KNOW that you are supporting with the higher ups, they are NOT likely to pull the stunts this new direct report is doing. Otherwise, you are just another member of the "TRIBAL HIERARCHY". As we say, LOYALTY works both ways. When direct reports feel valued and their ideas are supported, you avoid losing a lot of good employees. AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST??? If you are doing it well, other managers are going to want to steal your direct reports. If they are not, you are not doing it very well.

18. Lorna Rose, J.D., M.S.September 3,2023 at 1:16PM UTC

    Can I please insist that you stop using the term “tribe” or any variation of it in this context? Capitalism has stolen every shred of tribal culture from my ancestors and from my relations that are still here (myself included). There is NOTHING *tribal* about any capitalistic business organization that exists and operates in this country. For you to compare a business’ organization to a “tribal hierarchy” means you don’t actually know what that looks like. Please consider the origins of that word and what it means to the people it was stolen from before using it inappropriately (and inaccurately).

19. Ms. S.September 3,2023 at 2:49PM UTC

    Thank you for your post.

20. AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    Maybe looking at your scenario with different focus might change how you feel about the employee. What if because they are ambitious, it’s making you feel threatened and you are not seeing anything they are doing in a positive way. I think this is a very productive employee who need’s leadership. If I were you I would focus on mentoring this employee and getting the best out of them. If they look good you look good as their leader.

21. AnonymousSeptember 3,2023 at 3:50PM UTC

    Bad advice! This subordinate is not looking to be mentored. He is most likely insecure, immature, narcissistic, and typically looks for all the shortcuts to his success possible. People like him don't view this as anti-social behavior and anyone in their path is a casualty. He needs to be locked down and edged out.

22. Kristyn BarrettSeptember 3,2023 at 4:40PM UTC

    You are correct. He is insecure, immature and a narcissist. He is already stealing her ideas so what would be the point of mentoring? He will always be a narcissist and lookout for himself no matter how much advice and attention he gets.

23. Audrey KirschSeptember 2,2023 at 3:50PM UTC

    I’ve seen people like this come and go. You need to be confident in your skills and demonstrate how good you are. He will either crash and burn or move to another department. Either way, he will be out of your hair. It can take a while but others will notice his behavior and he may not be able to shine on his own. You just have to wait it out while protecting your hard work from being stolen.

24. AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 6:45PM UTC

    Ugh, I had one of these guys about a year ago and it was such a time suck. I managed 10 people at the time (half the team new) and last thing I needed was this guy constantly going rogue and trying to form coups with the rest of the team when he just didn’t like or respect what I’d asked from the team (I know this for a fact bc it made so many team members uncomfortable that they told me bc they didn’t want to be associated when they knew I’d inevitably find out). He fought me on tasks, thought he knew better when I had 15 years more experience and overall just thought he could do what he wanted bc he was one of the sales bros. I documented and managed him out (not easy bc my bro boss kept defending him bc he saw himself in the kid but eventually even he couldn’t defend the constant undermining from the guy). Start working on an exit plan for this guy asap! Your guy sounds manipulative and my first thought is he’s questioning your authority as a female boss. It’s not going to be easy or fun but it’s the only way to move forward with the rest of your team and important project. This isn’t a coaching situation, this is an undermining situation. Unacceptable in 2023 bros! Best of luck!

25. AnonymousSeptember 2,2023 at 6:51PM UTC

    Hey manager, this is ripe for a PIP. Close down his show and tell and be sure you bring HR into this, use screen captures of his antics from his calendar and any and all email trails you have on this. Or ask them to move him to another department. Manager yuor manager and explain to him that you have been dealing with this for some time. He is not likely to stop he is a climber and you can decide if your ego or his deserves the credit for work product and expertise that the company is not recognizing as yours. Alternatively, you can sit him down and support him for a raise and promotion but hard stop tell him that his BS must stop because the alternative is bye bye. You can probably document his work and track it (not sure what you do) and then watermark what you do vs him. If you quit he wins his game, don't do that!

26. Carol23September 3,2023 at 1:48PM UTC

    Also, Make sure he NEVER sees the watermark. It's easy to duplicate for future submissions from him if he sees YOUR watermark.

27. AnonymousOctober 7,2023 at 12:28AM UTC

    I'm not sure why the earlier commenter of this thread mentioned supporting this guy for a raise and promotion. The OP never interfered or expressed an issue with his pipe dreams. However, he is failing to show what he even contributes to the team other than insubsordination and plagiarism. He just needed to do his job, but all he has proven to do is simply play games with everyone b/c he thinks he deserves a better position without putting into the time and work needed. He's nothing but a grifter and a conartist. After getting sufficient proof of his shenanigans, I'd say fire his butt and blacklist him from working there.

28. AnonymousSeptember 3,2023 at 12:59PM UTC

    The exact same thing happened to me. They aren’t going to change no matter what plan you come up with. Either you go or he does. I ended up leaving my situation which turned out to be a good thing. But it was a very emotionally wrenching situation. I had given up a lot to take that position and I cared about the organization. But these people are crafty and determined. Also probably narcissistic tendencies are involved. Either fire him now and move forward or create an exit strategy asap.

29. Carol23September 3,2023 at 1:41PM UTC

    Don't Quit!!! Start by documenting EVERYTHING. Anything that is YOUR idea, present to your boss (and others) via emails. Start documenting ALL of his errors. Build a file so he can be fired soon.

30. JoAnna BlackSeptember 3,2023 at 4:56PM UTC

    Have you identified all project stakeholders somewhere? Thats step one. Create a list of individuals and groups who will be or will be perceived to be affected by the project you're leading. Next, the project development, refinement, testing, and communication strategies and timing should be explicit. Last, make it clear that any deviation from the plan is to be approved by you. Make sure you have full viewing rights on this person's calendar and monitor it for any unapproved meetings. If they are capable, perhaps you can task them for writing all this up.

31. AnonymousSeptember 3,2023 at 8:16PM UTC

    Great suggestion! Can be introduced as communication strategy.

32. AnonymousSeptember 4,2023 at 4:31PM UTC

    In order to have full viewing rights of a person’s calendar, that person has to provide you w/ the permission. What if they refuse? You can’t make them do it.

    Plus, they can mark meetings as “private” and you won’t be able to see those meetings anyways.

    Also, set up regularly scheduled meetings w/ your leader and your subordinate, so you can better manage their interaction.

33. Bradford McCormickSeptember 4,2023 at 7:17AM UTC

    You may need to not exactly "quit" but submit to unconditional surrender (which has the same material effect). It sounds ike you are not dealing with an idiot.

    " confronted the employee why he was meeting with so and so, but received only elusive responses like," Advice is cheap and m ychildrearing cripplled my reflexes so I often figure out how to reply to something only when it is too late. But if I was who I hoped I was, I wuld have directly and pulling no punches cut this dud off right there. I would have been him or me, right on that spot. I would have spelled out eplicitly -- in a calm voice and verey respectfully, but not omitting any aspect of the situation what he wa sdoing. Then I would have asked him what he was going to do about it. And I would not have let him of the hook. This person is highy intelligent and "knows what he is doing" so he deserves no "slack". He would have left the room either having signed a clear and specific plan for changing his behavior, or, if the company didn't have my back I'd know what I needed to do next whetner or not my employment would be terminated that day.

    Ther is an alternative: say nothing and look for differnt job.

    These kind of people are like a melanoma. Either you cut the damned thing out or it wil kill you. If you are just a sincere hard worker who tries to do good work and "exceeds requirements" on your reviews but are not a Muhammad Ali, your situation looks hopeless to me.

    I myself neve rencountered such a situation. I did see a coworker who is a small-time version of what you describe and the company didn't buy it. He quite because he wasn't being promoted like he thought he should. Later he want ed to come back: In that higher postion. they told him he could come back to his old position. He never cam back. But he was minor league compared to what you describe. Once I wa cornered by my "superiors". I couldn't beat them so I did waht a small dog does when attacked by a big dog: I rolled over and exposed my belly to let them do what they might do to me. I was lucky. So that raises a fina thought: Would you "superiors" in the ompany support you if you tell them the truth, the whole truth and nothing about the truth aout this perosn? If yes, it's a company you want to say and do your good work in. If no, again, the writing is on the wall. I once knew a person, and very long story short: He got FIRED for doing TOO GOOD WORK.

34. Kristie WhiteSeptember 4,2023 at 11:49AM UTC

    If you are his boss, fire him. Following your lead, keeping you informed and being a loyal part of your team is part of his job. Unfortunately you have hired someone who is viciously cutthroat and he plans to step on anyone, lie and cheat his way to the top. It may already be too late if he has established an end run to your boss and undermined your work. I’d feed him misinformation and manufacture a plan to get him out. But if you don’t have the stomach for that, start looking. This guy will soon be your boss.

35. Anne Marie HSeptember 4,2023 at 12:35PM UTC

    It sounds like he's devoting a LOT of time doing things you did NOT hire him to do. That's a clear performance issue. If he HAS satisfactorily completed your assignments and has enough time to meet with so many others, I'd make it clear that you have a defined path for him, and expect him to report his status, i.e. assignment completed, so that you can give him the next task. He's operating as if he's independent, but we all have to answer to whoever hired us. You can ONLY go by facts, and since you have been excluded from his solo meetings, you can only summize what he's been doing. Even if another reports back & tells you what he's said, it's third-hand. Sticking with the facts is all you can take to HR. You hired him to do x, y, z by MM/DD/YY. He's either meeting expectations or he's not. He's answer-able to you, so clearly define your expectations i.e. Report assignment status each morning along with his anticipated date of completion. Then, don't give him ANY free-time: as you see he's almost completed the project, send him his next assignment with clearly defined objectives, i.e. After project A is done, please begin working on this next project, report status each morning with completion goal date MM/DD/YY. Include your boss on email, and state that if completion requires his meeting with any staff, to include you in all such meetings. While he's "on-the-clock," his time is supposed to be spent on tasks you've assigned. Time spent strategizing, trying to undermine/steal or criticize you/your leadership is NOT why you're paying him. Make it all about performance. And then I'd issue an email to other supervisors & copy your boss asking them to let you know if your problem employee should seek their input on the tasks/projects you've assigned him, and to redirect him to you. That's only common courtesy and everyone in a supervisory/managerial role should know that any employee circumventing his direct boss is excluding him deliberately, either because he doesn't want you to know what he doesn't know OR because he's got ulterior motives, i.e. wants an audience with supervisors so he can "shine" without you, and can try to diminish you. Only then by ensuring his 8 hours are occupied to doing his assigned tasks can you be sure he's not trying to promote himself. And if he fails to meet your performance expectations, you can take up the issue with HR in a dispassionate, "matter of fact" manner, so.if he fails to meet performance expectation, doesn't complete assigned task in required time frame, he'll HAVE to devote his workday to his assignments and stop wasting time promoting himself/putting you down. And if there are performance issues, any other supervisor or manager wouldn't want to hire him; his HR file.would have record of his performance issue, i.e. PIP. THE most important thing is NOT to let his personal attacks become the issue: if you did, he'll be able to claim that your performance demands are due to your disliking him. It's gotta be dispassionate, unemotional, just facts. Failure to complete assignments in required time frame. Period. Good luck.

36. Crystal HowellSeptember 5,2023 at 11:05AM UTC

    Don't give in to this insecure guy, flip the switch! As a professional courtesy ask the stakeholders and your boss, his/her boss to redirect this employee back to you. Also, have a chat with HR as to how to handle this. Most of all, your ideas work for you, if he doesn't know how to implement them let him fall. Moving forward, your ideas should be emailed without is knowledge, to the bosses and stakeholders , don't give all away. Keep a paper trail outside of work, do not share with others. It'sclear he wants you out, so make sure your team knows who in charge. Keep us posted.

37. AnonymousSeptember 5,2023 at 1:39PM UTC

    Have another sit down 1:1 with him. Clearly set boundaries and let him know subtly that you have catch on to his behavior and you are not pleased.

    Remind him that you are still the one who would be evaluating and writing his performance review. If he shares idea without your input you definitely have a problem with it.

    Also, have another serious discussion with your boss, list out all the evidence of what your direct report is doing. Let him know this is serious and you aren't going to tolerate the insubordination. If he doesn't listen, then you can do a PIP or transfer him to a different project/team or let him go.

38. AnonymousSeptember 8,2023 at 10:51PM UTC

    I wonder how the employee would describe events. Is he the sole employee? Does he perhaps feel he is giving his expertise to you and trying to ensure his skill and knowledge isn’t lost under the guise of “teamwork”? I had something similar happen to me and taught me to more quickly act and make others aware of contributions. “So and so did xyz and want to thank him for his contributions “. I had initiatives and projects worked on with support staff that I held close to my chest thinking to wait until closer to implementation, only to have my “support” claim as their own idea first. I was the lead, the idea originator , but not the technical expert. I learned from there to be quicker about communication and the public recognition of roles others play.