I am four months in to a new job as the ED of a small NFP.

Anonymous

February 25,2022 at 3:17AM UTC

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I am four months in to a new job as the ED of a small NFP. My board chair (boss) is completely toxic—earlier this week she gaslighted me about an email I sent and then berated me about something going on in my personal life—and made it clear that she has zero interest in her duty of care or any sort of governance structure. She’s trying to do my job and failing miserably at the role of board chair. She’s also a bully to me and my staff.

Do I try to stick it out for a few more months and attempt to recruit a new board chair to replace her? Or do I cut my losses and get out now? I love my staff. I love our mission & the work we do. But this person is a huge source of stress and anxiety in my life right now.

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AnonymousFebruary 25,2022 at 4:08AM UTC
Get out now.
Julie AndrewsFebruary 28,2022 at 1:48PM UTC
Couldn’t agree more.
AnonymousFebruary 25,2022 at 7:25PM UTC
It seems like there's a lot you love. What other steps can you take besides sticking it out? Is there anyone you can talk to?
Toxic environments can damage your mental health, but if this is something you want to fight for, I say fight.
Heather CutlerFebruary 27,2022 at 2:23PM UTC
I’d take a look at the governance structure of your organization and what tools are available to replace the chair ASAP. Rely heavily on bylaws that hopefully will address this deplorable behavior and consult your organization’s attorney. I’m sorry this is happening to you although it’s not uncommon in NFP and membership organizations.
Rena CromerFebruary 28,2022 at 1:22PM UTC
I’d be most concerned that she’s not following the governance standards agreed upon in the by-laws. Most NFPs have a lawyer on the board. I think it would be worth consulting the org’s lawyer first. If rules and regulations aren’t being followed, that’s concern for both the board and anyone employed there. Go at it as concern and see what the counsel suggests.
Michelle S.February 28,2022 at 2:04PM UTC
I know it’s difficult, but I’d leave now while there are so many opportunities available. I’m sorry that’s happening to you!
AnonymousFebruary 28,2022 at 2:07PM UTC
Are the other board members not providing any support? Think about your mission and the beneficiaries of your nonprofit. This person is not just harming you, he/she is harming them. In the corporate world, stay, go, whatever. In this situation you have committed to a mission and to people who need help. What type of board do you have? If you have a procedural board, then per most bylaws of this type of board, this person has 0 authority to have any say over the day-to-day activities of you or the staff. Be calm. Be professional. Get this person to act like a proper board chair, or get them out. BOD definition and explanation of officer positions: https://www.501c3.org/nonprofits-board-directors. Don't let this person ruin the good work someone had the heart to start.
Claire McCabeFebruary 28,2022 at 3:22PM UTC
I say start planning your exit. In my experience, toxic bosses are very difficult to manage and unless she leaves, this dynamic will not change. There are many jobs where decent bosses exist. Despite an amazing mission and staff, no nonprofit is worth being miserable.
Diane CohenFebruary 28,2022 at 3:58PM UTC
Get out! You deserve better than that. Find a better situation and if you are able, try and bring some of your staff.
Liz MilneMarch 1,2022 at 6:43AM UTC
if you can get rid of her without blowback, do it: better for you, your team and the company?
AnonymousMarch 3,2022 at 2:57PM UTC
I would get out now. Nonprofit board chairs often feel they can do whatever they want with no repercussions. Mine felt free to ignore most of the bylaws, even when an attorney told them they couldn't. It's very hard to get rid of a bad board/chair unless you have the backing of the rest of the board. The mission is not more important than your wellbeing.