How Do you..

Anonymous

April 25,2022 at 3:09PM UTC

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How Do you..

Gain the confidence when going into a meeting with your boss to stand your ground?

There have been issues at my current job, (most recently I just posted about issues with a newer HR manger and telling me about how I am not engaged in my work, and etc.) she has been going to my boss to discuss things regarding my employment, and me leaving. My boss and I have yet to discuss this, but she has already grabbed her before I could and has I am sure made some undeserving comments.

I feel I am confident in my decision when it comes to leaving, but when it comes to my boss and speaking with her, sometimes I feel let down and also not appreciated sometimes. We are meeting later today, and I am going in with my head held high, but I just have this feeling I am going to crumble. I have been great with her, but it just seems with this extra involved I will not even have a chance.

Any advice?

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RaeApril 25,2022 at 3:21PM UTC
Do you agree with her decisions on you not being engaged in your work? If so why the long face? Do you feel that the new H.R. person has it out for you? If the answers are yes then explain that in the meeting. Then also explain why your not engaged in the work. If it's best for you to leave the company do it. Do whatever gives you a peace of mind.
Rebecca AliApril 25,2022 at 3:50PM UTC
I know it's so tough when you want that validation that never comes. We've all been conditioned to seek that external appreciation most of the time to our own detriment. I would say take a moment to appreciate yourself - all the projects you've completed, the colleagues you've helped along the way, the resiliency etc. and then as you said "go in with your head held high" that you made an impact even if no one else cares to see it. Be your own cheerleader. As a friend recently mentioned to me "go where you're celebrated, not tolerated." Also, if you get emotional, so what? We are basically all a bundle of emotions all the time. You can be upset, sad, disappointed, relieved and curious about your future all at once. Good luck to you!
AnonymousApril 25,2022 at 4:58PM UTC
Be prepared and have no more than 3 bullet points to cover and focus on. Anymore than that and you may "crumble" sooner and not get a chance to be heard.
Drive meeting if at all possible.
If you're leaving and have already given your notice the issues may be moot, especially if your boss and HR have justified your leaving to what's best for the company because your work ethic was not up to standards.
Joanne RosenApril 25,2022 at 7:18PM UTC
Remember, you are there basically as an exit interview. When you talk about issues, try to make suggestions. Try to leave on a positive note by saying you really enjoyed working and growing there but you feel that there is a personality conflict and it's best to leave now.
Good luck!
JillApril 25,2022 at 7:58PM UTC
please try to recall all positive you got from here and move on for next new challenge. Don’t be stuck in negative emotions. In this way you will work out ?
Sabrina CortesApril 25,2022 at 11:43PM UTC
Write down key points you want to make and the qualities that you bring to the team.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachApril 26,2022 at 1:38AM UTC
Hey Anonymous, I can help you build the confidence to stand your ground in this situation, and future work situations. I work with clients on this all the time. You can stand your ground and not think about or let the HR individual impact you at all, and have an honest conversation with your boss. Asking for meaningful feedback can be helpful too. Here's my link if you are interested in learning more about what we can do if we work together https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 1:05PM UTC
Thank you All for your kind words! It was a great convo!
It seems like the HR issue will not go away-she does not seem like she wants to speak with her or let her know that other people are having issues. I was told she is doing "great for the company".
AnonymousApril 27,2022 at 4:57AM UTC
Well at least you're clear on where things stand. Now you can leave knowing you tried to make your point. Sorry that things turned out this way