I had a really terrible experience at one job and I think it might have made me hypervigilant to accepting new roles if even one thing seems off, because I don't ever want to find myself in that situation again.

14 Comments

1. GirlBossanova934974June 14,2025 at 12:37PM UTC

   You had one bad experience. You need to move on. The problem is not you, The problem is with many of today's so called managers. No traininig, no mentorship, and no education and now youi're a manaager. A lot of thsse folks are doing some pretty crazy things. THE SOLUTION? Be on your guard and ask a lot of good questions during the interviewing process. Watch how the company treats you. Are they prepared for interviews? Are they cancelling and rescheduling out of nowhere? Are they acting flighty, flaky, and such? Do you get the feeling that the office is one big colleciton of drama? Does the hiring manager have any ideas what they're looking for? Does the hiring manager sound like he or she is completely lost and just grasping for fancy words on a resume? Most of the time these days, it is all out there in PLAIN VIEW.

2. AnonymousJune 14,2025 at 3:05PM UTC

   I think self sabotage is a hurdle to overcome. I would suggest a bit of therapy to address the underlying fear of failure and the unknown. A therapist can help you build your confidence.

3. AnonymousJune 14,2025 at 3:08PM UTC

   I have been through something similar, being a fresher my first company gave me a lot of trauma and stress and also lied to me in the beginning (the JD). The way I dealt with this may or may not be helpful but I would ask you to take a break, even a month could make you relax and think from a better perspective.

4. Dr. Patty GrossJune 15,2025 at 1:34PM UTC

   Fear of flying when a job requires it, and bad reviews on Glassdoor, can be considered healthy reasons for declining a job offer when outweighing any positive qualities the position or the company has, so long as you have thoroughly vetted the company. It sounds like due diligence in a job search to me. Picking pros and cons to a job offer and assigning a weight to each has been helpful for me, and it helped my son make his decision on the college he wanted to attend.

   I also agree with the person who suggested that some therapy and a break could help you clear your mind and refocus your career path. Ultimately, this will enable you to establish a strategy. Hypervigilance is symptomatic of several trauma-related disorders, and you can manage it with coping mechanisms set up by a therapist.

5. AnonymousJune 15,2025 at 2:33PM UTC

   It sounds like we worked for the same company! I had one of those in 2019-2020. It's like a form of PTSD. The feeling never completely goes away, but over time it will dissipate. Just be sure to vet the corporate culture and the individual you'll be working for as best as you can. Also, whenever possible, speak to a former colleague that knows the company (or the manager). A little credibility from someone else helps ease our fears.

6. Mary BlakeJune 16,2025 at 12:41PM UTC

   Ohh/ this sounds like my last 2 jobs. Hypervigilance is a form of PTSD. I went through the same thing and can now spot a toxic environment a mile away.

7. Jenny ChenJune 16,2025 at 6:34PM UTC

   Please share what are the things that you look for. Would really appreciate the insights and advice. There are just too many managers or workplaces that are dysfunctional.

8. RachelleJune 16,2025 at 12:55PM UTC

   You suffered workplace trauma. The symptom you describe shares traits with PTSD, including hypervigilance, avoidance of jobs, or places that remind you of that experience.

   One of the tips I use is to live in the moment. What do I need in this moment> In this moment, am I ready to handle a new position?

   Prepare a list of questions that are important to you in a new position. Review job openings at your current place of employment . Write a list of things you enjoy relaxing with, and let it come to you. Then, next to it, write why you enjoy it. Repeat with a list of things you do not enjoy and why. Write longhand on two sheets of lined paper. Take about a week, just let it flow.

   Get a journal, keep it near. When those feelings return, write down what you are doing at the time of the attack.

   If your company has an EAP program, there are usually five sessions with a free therapist. Use it and get insight into how the trauma has shaped your worldview.

   I have found that allowing the "threat" to play out and follow it to the end. For example, I made an error in payroll, paying employees a day late. My mind took me to discussing with my manager, to being fired, unable to pay my bill, and being homeless. This is not easy to do because of the fear. Remind yourself in this moment," I am okay," and follow the thought to the end. Wishing you healing and peace.

9. AnonymousJune 16,2025 at 1:35PM UTC

   I agree with others, In the fact that you are struggling with some form of trauma From that terrible prior work experience. To be completely honest, I think you will benefit from meeting with a therapist and working on this. The reason I say this is because you did move on, And you have been successfully working elsewhere 2 years and yet, You still have fear from that Prior work experience that is debilitating you. Often, Once we have a successful follow-up experience, we can look back and make sense of the trauma.But it sounds like you are still holding it very closely in your mind and heart. You have deeply personalized this negative experience.And I think you will need professional help to understand it

10. AnonymousJune 17,2025 at 10:39AM UTC

    I fully understand you!!! I had 2 burnouts, the first one due to the double role my former company assigned me after only 4 months and the classic gender discrimination (yeah, I sued the company and I won! :)), the second one because of the bullying I suffered in another company due to my condition of immigrant in Austria.

    What I am doing is: after moving to Spain, I am reaching to my friends and contacts to know beforehand what I can expect from the companies I am applying to, and my second strategy is that reached out to a special organization that is helping me to situate in my new city, and gives special attention (including free terapie and coaching) to women victim of violence.

    They helped me to remember that it is not because you had a bad experience in one company that you will suffer the same experience in the new one. I am also working on developing more tools to avoid being exploited in my next position. So, in summary, preparation and networking.

    Hope that helps! You are not alone :)

11. AnonymousJune 17,2025 at 7:38PM UTC

    Your insight is a great start. Keep the job you have and get a therapist. All these issues won't go away with a new job, because they are within you. If you can possibly hang in your current role for 6 months while in therapy, you will have reframed you circumstances and be much better positioned to excel in a new role. It's unfortunate, but if the damage from a awful job cuts deep, a new job doesn't totally correct it, therapy is the way to go.

12. AnonymousJune 17,2025 at 10:45PM UTC

    Excellent advice!

13. AnonymousJune 20,2025 at 8:59PM UTC

    Working to earn a living is part of adulting that is no fun. What's fun is finding a position you like but most importantly making sure it's the company you like the most. Just like a house, you can always fix the pretty on the inside but what's most important is the foundation it resides. Think of yourself as a building with a shaky foundation, which means you need to contact someone to work on it and fix it. That would be the therapist. Then on the inside, that's the work you can do on your own, once the foundation is strong, the inside is pretty easy to deal with. There is no perfect job, no perfect company but seek one that has a strong foundation so look on LinkedIn for those who work there and see how long they have worked there. The trauma anyone endures in life must be dealt with so you can live a happy and normal life. I'm happiest remote, not in an office with dramatic leaders and co-workers. I've longed to find a remote only job, but they are hard to find. So I've learned to arm myself as wonder woman and I do not allow any negativity to cross my path. I have wonderful responses to those who are projecting their insecurities, but the best response is silence. One day you will become stronger (like your foundation), then you will be able to work where you like most people and like the company. That combo is hard to find, but I have. I focus on the good in the world I do. Look at higher ed, or non-profits that may have a mission of helping others. Sometimes those folks are nicer to deal with. Not to say they are perfect, but I've worked in student services long enough that those passionate about others are typically nicer people to work with. I wish you much luck and success and highly encourage you to find a good therapist to help you navigate.

14. Danielle Peterson, MBAAugust 6,2025 at 9:49PM UTC

    PTSD from bad/toxic job experiences is real. Time will help you heal, but I recommend seeking therapy to help you deal with your feelings. It will help you expedite the healing process so you can address your job search with less anxiety.