I used to be very ambitious and thrived on having a strong performance/career path.

47 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 9,2022 at 12:08AM UTC

   I understand this feeling somewhat.
   My circumstances are slightly different… approaching 10 months with new company, horrible micromanager who is seemingly threatened by any sign of initiative. I’m used to being a go getter, give me the details and I’ll run with it and get it done..Millennial with 20 years of working. Unfortunately, my manager’s behavior and attitude toward me have sucked my energy/drive dry. I’m on egg shells constantly and the only way to keep sane and stressless is to only do what is asked and no more. I’m looking for other opportunities and actively meeting new people at the company to explore opportunities. Her manager has helped introduce me to others—-something she refused to do even when our work warranted it.. but until then i lock that new role…im on auto-pilot. I hope you have an opportunity to refresh and reenergize over the holiday season. Go after what fulfills ?? you.

2. AnonymousDecember 9,2022 at 1:56AM UTC

   Yes I've been running full bore for over 20 years now and I'm just done. I started a new job earlier (same industry) this year and I'm just so exhausted and burned out. I still have 20+ years to retirement and I'm a single breadwinner.

3. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 2:53PM UTC

   I'm so sorry. I feel your pain. The struggle is real.

4. AnonymousDecember 9,2022 at 3:24PM UTC

   This resonates with me. I used to be laser-focused on growing my career, and my professional progression shows that. I am currently battling the same questions as you. Chronologically, I should be approaching the prime of my career, but my get up and go...got up and went. I've made some major adjustments in my work/life balance which has helped mentally to a certain degree, but I'm nowhere near the career person I used to be. I'm coasting for now, feeling apathetic about job searching, and hoping that my mindset with start to shift with a bit more time.

5. Crystal HowellDecember 9,2022 at 7:43PM UTC

   It's time for a change, think back as to what you truly always wanted to do. Be smart, now is the time to consolidate your revolving debts, car, etc. while you have that corporate job.

   Reduce payments as much, tighten up on the budget. Save the difference of the money that you were paying for the higher payments. Make this year goal, this time next year you will be set. Transfer your skill set to something else. Good Luck.

6. RichDecember 10,2022 at 3:34PM UTC

   This is good advice.

   We teach job seekers that "Money is Time." The more money you have saved and avoid spending , the more time you have to find your next role, or change to a new career.

7. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 4:24AM UTC

   You will find that you career will ebb and flow. That your engagement will do the same. It's natural

8. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 2:51PM UTC

   I feel this in my 40 something soul. I thought my current job would be the one. The one I would finally be recognized at, and be promoted and plan for retirement with. Nope. And they want everyone back in the office in January, and I am already exhausted by the thought of florescent lights and fake smiles. Sadly, I have found that all of the hard work, dedication and going the extra mile doesn't pay off most places. Act your wage, don't go above and beyond. They get what they pay for. Have a life outside of work. As soon as you're of no use to them they do not care what happens to you. You have to take care of yourself.

9. Alice StokerDecember 11,2022 at 9:06PM UTC

   If I could upvote this comment multiple times, I would. Definitely feeling the same at 48.

10. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 4:05PM UTC

    This could be anything from burnout to what is more recently considered the "COVID crazies." The disruptions of the last three years have led to many of these types of feelings and behaviors. Does your company have an EAP you can tap to talk with someone about what you're feeling? Have you considered going back to school? I was laid off in my mid-40s after 22 years with a company and went back to school to get a master's. Since then, I haven't looked back; I got a second master's and am now working on my doctorate while supporting myself on Social Security retirement. You're never too old to learn something new.

11. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 4:14PM UTC

    Could be an age thing, or just time-in-position thing.
    Could be perimenopause or menopause or lack of vitamin D or something else that is physical or psychiatric that would need to be addressed. As I've gotten older, my doctors have ordered broader and broader blood panels. At age 49, I developed anemia from adenomyosis, that had been quietly getting worse my whole life, and got prescribed hormones containing some estrogen. And then I had a vitamin D deficiency. And changes in my job duties made my ADHD an issue, when it had been a super power in the past, and menopause exacerbated ADHD as well.

12. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 5:28PM UTC

    This is NOT a helpful post and kind of insulting. I pray you don’t manage people with this thinking pattern. Also note that this doesn’t only apply to the female issue but impacts men too - does this mean that men lack vitamin d or they are perimenapausal? Wow

13. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 1:15PM UTC

    Just to let you know that I developed adrenal fatigue from a vitamin D deficiency during menopause. I went from a high performing Director to barely hanging on. It took a long time for me to go to the doctor - basically I went after I took a vacation and slept for days and still was exhausted. My performance suffered and not one of my my leaders asked about this- it was determined that I was “unable to handle my role” and I was almost fired after almost 20 years. Once I got a diagnosis and some treatment, I rapidly improved. i did leave that company during 2020 and I’m at a wonderful place now. So sometimes health issues can affect your mental capacity. It’s not a bad answer to her question, especially if she is feeling depressed/not caring. I felt these EXACT things.

14. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 2:09PM UTC

    Sounds v similar to my experience.HRT gave me my mojo back. Now I’m in a great job elsewhere too and definitely not coasting / fed up anymore.

15. Tiffany PittmanDecember 12,2022 at 9:13PM UTC

    I really relate to this. I've had a challenging year with adrenal dysfunction and other issues. There was a period where I felt like I was losing my mind and had brain fog. Your health has a HUGE affect on your capacity to work and make sound decisions. I would suggest she take a timeout first and rest before she makes a big move.

16. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 7:11PM UTC

    It was HER experience. Don't shame her for that!

17. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 5:26PM UTC

    I get this so much! I just got

    laid off and I’ve been working so hard for so long only to find the management style to be toxic and abusive. I’m really having a tough time getting past the burn out and ptsd and not sure what I want to do now. I surely don’t want to go back to the long hours, micromanagement and abuse again.

    ageism is also completely real and that doesn’t help much too.

18. Lyn WelchDecember 10,2022 at 11:37PM UTC

    Well, if you go into a new job with a negative attitude, you'll have a negative experience. Go into it with a positive attitude and you'll have a positive experience. Most work environments are pretty much the same these days with toxic and abusive management because they've never trained their managers how to BE good people managers. Find a progressive company that values its employees and treats them right. You may have to work for a few lemons before you find a good place to work. It's a good question to ask during an interview, when they ask if you have any questions. Just say, Yes, I'm curious how you train your managers in people management skills and they answer "it's all OJT" or "we train them ourselves", they don't really take training their managers seriously. All they care about is getting the work done.

19. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 7:05PM UTC

    Oh dear one, you are correct about the ageism, though there are benefits to having years of experience too. I was at a career job for 7 yrs, then two jobs for 2 yrs each, then 18 yrs, 10 yrs; and now at 67 yo, current job for almost 3 years. I finally am in the job I love and hope to continue in until I decide to retire. I had a professional revamp my resume and edited the jobs prior to my longterm stints to avoid calculating my true age. Life is hard enough without remaining in a job we only coast through.
    Mindset and gratefulness have allowed me to enjoy using my skills acquired over the years.

20. Lyn WelchDecember 10,2022 at 11:23PM UTC

    If you've only been working for 20 years, you're nowhere near retiring. You need to get a new job that excites and motivates you.

21. Laura BrennanDecember 11,2022 at 1:52AM UTC

    So... I'm going to take a different tack here. Maybe the *why* question isn't the one to ask. I mean (*waves hands*) there are so many reasons why. And some people in your situation will feel the same and other people will feel different. I just don't think this is a useful question.

    But "How do I want to feel?" is a useful question.

    You touch on that in your last sentence. If you weren't feeling conflicted, you would just put in your hours, cash the paycheck, take up a hobby you love and enjoy yourself. AND THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. You're doing the work they pay you for, if you felt just fine fulfilling your contract to the letter, that would be great. Nothing to feel ashamed of, you don't owe them more than they are paying you to do.

    My suggestion is to not take any action right now. Just sit with the idea of, how do I want to feel?

    Shame at not going above and beyond, especially if that was your MO in the past, might be getting in the way. Work on that for a bit. If you felt no shame and no guilt, what would you choose right now? What would your ideal work situation look like at this moment in your life?

    How do you want to feel at work? At home?

    You may want to feel energized by a new challenge, and that is good info to have. You may want to turn your focus to something else, and having a clear and simple job that pays the bills is the perfect choice for this moment in your life. That is also good information to have. I think separating what you want from what you think you should want, or what other people think you should want, is the first step towards clarity.

    And maybe, while you do this, take the next couple of months to prioritize rest and self-care. Reconnecting with yourself and your emotions and your personal ambitions can go hand-in-hand with rejuvenation, sleep, health, and self-care. You're not on anyone else's timeline. No shame, no guilt, just some deep thinking about how you really want to feel.

    You've got this!

22. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 1:38PM UTC

    Awesome reply

23. Laura BrennanDecember 13,2022 at 9:01PM UTC

    Oh, thank you! Glad this was useful to people! :)

24. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 1:36PM UTC

    I am in that same exact boat and I actually switched jobs and I am still coasting and not feeling the new job! I think maybe the pandemic fatigue is still inside me, I had to work hard and do remote teaching of my small kids during 2020-2021 which I feel burned me totally out, I feel like I had 2 jobs all at once! But I still have a bit of motivation left in me to hopefully find something that will make me feel energized again so I will start looking for a new position again. Good luck!

25. Barbara FiorellaDecember 11,2022 at 1:58PM UTC

    I was laid off due to a company move. I found a job within 2 mths and have been here for 2 years. I'm 61 and all I can think about is retiring. I like my job but I just want to coast along for the next 4 yrs.

26. T MNDecember 11,2022 at 1:59PM UTC

    Ditto for me, over 20 years at same company, we were back in office couple of months after covid hit for an inoffice 3 days from home 2. Worked like a dog. I'm EXHAUSTED, QUIT have new job and am literally working just to get by. Coasting along. No ambition.

27. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 2:15PM UTC

    Can I tell you a story? When I first started my career I worked in a department that was considered a feeder group. It was mostly made up of young professionals that would put in 10 to 12 hours per day and would have no problem working weekends. After work they would go to happy hour to be seen as a social well rounded employee with their bosses and then turn around and do it again. They did this so that they could get promoted or move to bigger and betters role within the company.

    There were a few folks there that were in the middle to end of their career and they approached the work differently. They put in their hours, they unplugged from work and then went about their lives. They had family, friends, other business ventures, etc. outside of the job. They didn't care about getting promoted, they didn't apply for new roles in the company. They were perfectly content on where they were. I remember to this day talking to a woman there that was in her 40s and she told me that worked like that when she was younger until she started realizing that if she's going to work that hard at something it's going to be for herself. She was quietly amassing a bunch of real estate properties.

    I'm telling you this story because it happens, it can be for a multitude of reasons but it happens. You went full throttle for 20+ years, as long as you're meeting your deliverables it's ok to step on the brake and coast.

    The only cause for concern is that you don't like your role and your company. That is never good and it can put you in a rut and demotivate you completely. You're going to have to get out of there. Muster enough motivation to start looking for something else or doing something outside of work.

28. Jacqueline CutlerDecember 11,2022 at 3:17PM UTC

    You're evolving and that's wonderful. For the very short range, can you schedule off some time just to take stock? If you could take off a week, rest, and after a few days just make a few lists to consider what you want to do and how -- what works for you.

    If you no longer like it there or want to work there, it's likely time to move on but after so long, I would first take a step back and just examine everything closely while not under the day-to-day pressures of work.

29. Focused721350December 11,2022 at 3:49PM UTC

    Good Morning, ;)

    You sound like myself yrs ago. First off! Stop listening to friends or whomever. Go with your GUT!!!! To me personally! It sounds like you have the BURNOUTS! It's like you reached a plateau! Not as thrilling or interesting. I get it! Also! I worked hard and it never seemed to get recognized. So! One day I had it! I quit! Never been that way ever! My GUT was telling me to do your own thing and I did and couldn't be happier. ;) I started my own Small Pet Nanny Service Business. I worked my tail off! No pun intended! I only have to answer to myself and no headache. I figured! Like my Dr. told me! THERE'S NO JOB ON THIS EARTH WORTH YOUR HEALTH... So! I get my daily exercise and be around all my Furry baby friends. Which is GREAT therapy.

    Good Luck and God Bless you, Ms.T ;)

30. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 3:52PM UTC

    I’m feeling the same way. I’ve been working for 25 years, but in my profession for 11 years. After years of high stress jobs, toxic or inept bosses, trying and trying and trying all the time, the pandemic and parenthood, I’m just burned out. I just want to go to work and go home. Have the energy for my kids and my interests and myself.

    I found this article helpful:https://www.thecut.com/2022/03/post-pandemic-loss-of-ambition.html

31. AnonymousDecember 14,2022 at 1:11PM UTC

    This article is spot on. I m finding that WFH at 9-5, I can just balance with my 2 young kids with the skin of my teeth. I guess it’s hard to be passionate on anything when you are just plan old tired. Are you doing anything to change it?

32. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 4:33PM UTC

    Yes, I understand how you are feeling! 100% I will be 61 next month. Was given a layoff in April 2020 from a job I had for 7 years and from an industry I was in and loved for over 20 that cratered overnight due to the pandemic. Single but worried about savings running out as I received no severance. Got a job in a new industry, very different than what I was doing before. Very “live to work” culture. Everyone is lovely but hyper type A and ambitious. I have interests, rich relationships and family outside of work. Just want to go in, work my 8-5, be done with it and go home and live my life. Yes, I am tired. Want to coast. Unfortunately, my work environment isn’t conducive to that. Just doing my job is met with conversations with manager about how my colleagues are coming to work at 6, forgoing vacations and working weekends and “crushing it” and I should be doing the same. Huge Sigh. Yes, feel same conflict. I feel I have no drive with work anymore. My life and relationships outside of work is what fills me up. You are not alone.

33. TristaDecember 11,2022 at 5:30PM UTC

    This is so real. I thought I was going into a depression but it’s just a new phase of life and a focus on my values (what I value outside of work) that was brought into focus by the pandemic and age. I’m working to support my family. And I do the job the best I can. That’s it.

34. Heather PriceDecember 11,2022 at 6:01PM UTC

    If you’re close to retirement at that job, I’d make that my new goal. Life is too short to make it about your job. The way I see it, your job is a means to an end. If you’re far away from retirement, sounds like it’s time for a career change. I got burned out working in mental health and decided to go work in the ER, which brought back that excitement and ambition. The choice really is yours on whether you want to spend the rest of your career feeling like this or if you want to try something new/different to make you more motivated. Good luck!

35. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 6:32PM UTC

    I don’t think you are lack of career drive like you used to, rather the values of your company do not line up with yours anymore. It is difficult to get excited and motivated when you couldn’t get behind something that you do.

    It happened to me two years ago at the company I had worked at for almost 20 years. The company has changes almost every two years. For the past 8 years. Like you, I was coasting, but it actually made the situation worse because that was not me to just coast along. I was frustrated with the situation and myself.

    So I started to look, but it was a full time job itself. The combination of feeling frustrated at myself and the stress to needing to find something so I could quit did not put me in a good state. A year later, I got a severance package because my role was moved and I didn’t want to relocate.

    Couple thoughts:

    1) You mentioned severance, is it a situation the writing is on the wall? Yes, it would give you financial cushion while exploring but you don’t have control on the timing. I had to stay for another 6 months in order to receive my severance. So consider what you want to do if you receive a severance. I did take the time to “recover” myself (relax, and do things that I didn’t have time to do before) and network so I stay connected.

    2) Do you have a clear career vision? This helped me a lot on what and where to look for at my next role.

    Good luck! You’ve got this!

36. AnonymousDecember 11,2022 at 8:47PM UTC

    Thank you for your post! I am going through the exact same thing myself. I started a new job over a year ago and put my all into it. However, my boss never showed me any appreciation for my efforts. So after a decent, but lackluster, review I decided that no matter what I did, he wasn’t going to recognize me. That’s when I started putting in the minimum effort and lost all motivation which caused me tremendous guilt and anxiety because I’m not used to slacking off.

    Recently, I was just assigned a new project that makes no sense and I cannot lead a project on something that I really don’t stand behind or believe in. I know I need to leave, especially since I was moved to a new manager who is even worse than my first. We had our first one on one and despite my having my camera on during the call, she didn’t turn hers on, while she went on about how she’s great at building rapport with the people she works with.

    So, I am now planning my exit strategy, and it’s scary to give up on a permanent full time job when the future is so uncertain. But for the sake of my health and sanity, I’m going to take a risk and put in my notice soon.

    I wish you the best, and know that you are not alone.

37. Jackie RukaDecember 11,2022 at 10:04PM UTC

    A recent article and survey was posted on Linked about the lack of feeling fulfilled in one’s job. This is now deemed a job crisis where over 50% of workers are discouraged in their jobs. Therefore, it’s not just you.

    Many feel a lack of meaning and what currently matters to individuals does not match up to the world of working 9 to 5 , at a desk or commuting… and Covid has left people with the evaluation that it’s not a money thing per se, but rather doing a purposeful position.

    This is a good time to pivot and form a plan and vision to get bridge from the hamster wheel to your freedom path.

    I did it and never looked back and now I help women form her vision and freedom path doing what she loves!

    Join the Pivot group as a way to gain some insight.

38. Maria F OliveiraDecember 12,2022 at 12:58AM UTC

    Hi. Your comment speaks to me. What is the pivot group?

39. AnonymousDecember 12,2022 at 5:39AM UTC

    Yes, I am going through the same thing. I started a new job three years ago, however my job description does not match all of my day-to-day responsibilities. My boss actually does some of the requirements listed in my job description. I don’t want to rock the boat, because I am near retirement age, but I’ve lost my passion for working. My boss wants me to do the tedious and mundane tasks, while he takes ownership of the more challenging and fulfilling work. I interviewed for a new job and if I’m hired, I hope to get that driving force back for working and have a sense of purpose, along with job security.

40. AnonymousDecember 14,2022 at 12:43AM UTC

    I had that boss!

41. AnonymousDecember 12,2022 at 3:47PM UTC

    Yes you are not alone. Worked at the same job for 18+ years and absolutely no opportunities to advance due to classism (educational institution). Their idea of professional development or advancement is to rearrange boring and tedious work with little to no input from staff actually doing the work. I'm checked out many days. Staying for health insurance coverage. Hoping to get my husband to Medicare age so I can get out. Been looking for other employment but rural area with not much available for a reasonable wage. Applied for some remote opportunities but nothing yet.

42. AnonymousDecember 12,2022 at 4:26PM UTC

    I think a lot of people are in this boat. The last few years have really shown most of us how meaningless and unvalued our lives and contributions are to our companies and society as a whole. Many of us lack any real purpose or fulfillment in our lives and are struggling to find a way to not just give up on everything. I wish I had some sage advice to offer but I really don't. What I can say, and maybe it will help, is that you are not alone.

43. Brittany Wilson, Transformational Career CoachDecember 12,2022 at 5:08PM UTC

    Hi! I was recently going through this. I kepts feeling and thinking the same, and I kept turning to others around me to see what they would say. All that happened was I got a ton of conflicting advice. Until, on friend said, "Stop researching. Listen to yourself."

    Then, I spent a few months listening to my mind and body. What did I enjoy? What was a done with? What were my dealbreakers. In the end, I found the best answer for me (a career change), but that took a few months for me to figure out.

    I think everyone goes through ebbs and flows of this. You are listening to your mind and body, and that's the most important thing you can do. Continue listening to your body to see what you want. Your mind will point you in the right direction.

    Best of luck!

44. DeBorah WalkerDecember 12,2022 at 9:12PM UTC

    I am so with you on this point...?. I left a successful sales career wherevi worked hard and was justly rewarded...but after 12 years I wanted to get into management; went and I got my MS...and the company sent me for all types of training; but when I interviewed within the company all I got back was crickets. So I'm good enough just to make money for the company.

    So I left and I have just been doing contract work; and laziness has set in, and I know I cannot waste too much time, and my degree, but I am so picky. Right now I am an office manager and I work 6 hours a day...my boss leaves me alone and I'm content...but my little voice keeps telling me too look...because I have much working years left and I need more money and i have not peaked with an outstanding career as yet.

45. Jackie RukaDecember 14,2022 at 10:48PM UTC

    Wendy, this is spot on as a Gen X I can relate.

    we all need to drop the guilt for either overworking or taking a break for less $.

    No job is worth your mental health.

    Yet, finding a great job, with balance , fulfillment and good pay may seem elusive ? Companies , albeit few, are realizing this, hence why people are resigning or quiet quitting.

    Ots important to determine what is meaningful and what matters to you most?

46. tiffany birchDecember 15,2022 at 9:30PM UTC

    I think the Pandemic has some play in the way we work. For me it is having a work-life balance that fuels my passion., protecting my high energy so I don' burn out, as I have done in the past. It sound like the red flags are waving to evaluate what you truly want, not what you're settling for. I like to take long nature walks to regain my balance. During this walking meditation, I listen to what comes up. Passion comes and goes when we are unsettled. Be kind to yourself. A better change is possible.

47. AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 5:16AM UTC

    How do you change when you are 60, tired of the corporate BS and the constant work harder, work harder, guilt trip you when take the PTO you have earned, but are single and have no spouse to lean on? So burned out but terrified of burning through my 3 months of savings without income coming in. ?