Assigned to a new project supporting a group of long-time friends and colleagues

11 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 15,2025 at 2:49AM UTC

   Change your definition of Friends and accept this is work and the environment is based on a tight dynamic among these people. Take a breath and understand that you will need to up your game and create some boundaries and a healthy self respect. Why retreat at the first sign of struggle? Surely you're more talented than that?

2. AnonymousOctober 15,2025 at 2:17PM UTC

   I'm in an astonishingly similar situation, and all I can say is UGH!

   I was recruited to be on this team because they knew I was a hard working, detail-oriented, solid employee. But two years in and somehow absolutely nothing I produce is ever "good enough". I'm starting to think it's a deliberate strategy to keep me doubting myself and feeling like I can't possibly look for another position because I'm just not perfect enough.

   Well, I've decided I'm not playing this game. I'm still trying my best, but I'm actively looking for another position (and of course keeping that to myself). Whenever I receive an offer and announce my departure, I am 100% certain my current department will lose their collective minds and do everything they can to try to keep me. But it will be too little too late.

   Only you know what you can take, and if damage to your mental health is worth this treatment. But my advice to you is to keep your head down, and produce the best work you can, while quietly looking for your exit route. Best of luck!

3. BarbaraOctober 15,2025 at 2:55PM UTC

   If they are friends tell them to cut the crap and leave you alone. If their criticism is valid then do better.

4. AnonymousOctober 16,2025 at 1:39PM UTC

   If they had the desire and the power to do that, you would never had been offered the job in the first place. I think you might be over projecting onto the situation.

5. TraskkOctober 16,2025 at 2:05PM UTC

   Consider learning how to do “The Look”. Get glasses without a prescription if you don’t already wear them. When someone gives you any grief-pause, move glasses slightly down your nose so that you can look over them while simultaneously dropping your chin slightly, then just look at them. Make sure your face is devoid of all emotion. Say nothing. Watch them wither…

6. AnonymousOctober 16,2025 at 3:59PM UTC

   Call them out on it. Find out how to fit into their niche and see if you can make it work. Yes, it is a challenge but you can get past this. At least you should try. Whenever there is a new person coming into something there is a fit period and you need to take control of how you fit not let them control it. Running away may seem like the solution but standing your ground is another path to your continued success. You know how good you are and you should stand up for your own work in any meetings and or interactions to prove it. Speak to the manager about how you are feeling and perhaps they just can't see how it is affecting you.

7. Barbara M.October 16,2025 at 4:04PM UTC

   I completely get this. It’s exhausting to give your best and still feel like the goalposts keep moving. It sounds like you’ve handled it with professionalism and self-awareness. I’m proud of you for recognizing your professional worth, taking back your confidence and choosing to move forward. Doing your best work while preparing your next move is a strong, self-respecting strategy. You deserve an environment that values what you bring, not one that keeps you questioning it. Here's to your success!

8. Celena BartonOctober 18,2025 at 4:55PM UTC

   Yep. Unfortunately this is common, happened to me at a place I worked previously. Brought in a new director of marketing and he promptly got rid of the entire marketing team and brought in his colleagues from the place he had just left. They ended up staying for just under a year and then all promptly left to go to another company together.

9. AnonymousOctober 18,2025 at 7:00PM UTC

   For now, continue to do your best work while figuring out how to fit into their world. Its always easier to look for a job while you still have a job. Meanwhile, recognizing that things may not change for the better in terms of their agenda and how they treat you, polish up your resume and keep your options open for something that is a better fit.

10. AnonymousOctober 19,2025 at 4:18AM UTC

    If all others are good, you can manage this. Ask for weekly one-on-one, if possible, for direct managerial interaction. This should reduce the nit-picking. A daily summary email at the end of the day may help as well. Better to stay put until you get another job, if you are looking for it.

11. Mary Lea McTurnanOctober 22,2025 at 5:13AM UTC

    Oh yes. If your work is not defective, and I’ll presume that it isn’t, you will need to bite back or it’ll continue and escalate . Idk what’s being said or to whom, but next time say ‘it sounds as though you don’t think im doing the work. Could you show me , specifically, how and where im failing ? And then shut up. For however long it takes the bully to start running his / her mouth because you just took their power away. Plus,!it’ll give you the confidence you need to repel would be bullies