Sharing information at work

25 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 3,2022 at 9:43AM UTC

   I suggest asking your boss to help identify someone else who can show you the ropes.

2. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 12:31PM UTC

   I really like this response as well. Perhaps you can share feedback with your manager that your colleague may have a lot on his plate and as a result, has not been able to share necessary knowledge to help you come up to speed. Most of us do need an onboarding coach when we start new positions so let your manager know that you would rather have someone new to help you jump start as fast as possible. Try to keep it positive but put a pin and what has happened with this colleague going forward.

3. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 3:29PM UTC

   I would keep an eye on this colleague so he doesnt start bullying you. Keep your head up at this workplace, as someone else commented, Sabotage is alive and well here it seems.

4. Julie Chatman, MBA, CISMJuly 3,2022 at 1:10PM UTC

   I have been in a similar situation. The situation is called “sabotage”. Are there other avenues that you could use to learn? It may be worthwhile to share your on boarding experience with your manager.

5. AnonymousJuly 3,2022 at 6:22PM UTC

   its a wake up call. Don't rely on this colleague for anything. learn who all your go to's are in terms of expertise and build a strong rapport with them so that you dont need the help of this phony person. Learn more, exceed the jerk and stay laser focused on performing well.

6. AnonymousJuly 3,2022 at 8:10PM UTC

   This employee, unless requested to do so, is not responsible for your training or providing background on the company.

   Do not him for support. Go to your boss and request whatever training you need to do your job.

7. AnonymousJuly 5,2022 at 12:37PM UTC

   I have been in a similar situation and it lead to me leaving in short time. I don't feel that is completely necessary and you have had some great advise so far.

   Also try:

   • As professionally and non-assertively as possible (some assertiveness will be good though!) schedule time with them.
   • Document the communication (use email as much as possible)
   • Make a checklist outlining what you need to know
   • Keep track of how you are spending your time, be useful to others on the team, and show your skills off as much as possible.
   • Document! It is essential.
8. Monica Lynn SadlerJuly 5,2022 at 4:10PM UTC

   I would confront your colleague and ask why he is throwing you under the bus when he's too busy to keep his word to teach you. In the meantime, I would begin researching the company and learning all you can on your own.

9. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 12:28PM UTC

   I would have to know a little bit more about you and a little bit more about him before I would suggest that you confront him.
   To be blunt, What are the racial dynamics? It could be hazardous to your career to confront him in many environments today. He will probably continue to gaslight you and then go behind your back and say you were hostile. It may be best to take it as a learning lesson and go to your manager to get the information you need. If you feel uncomfortable doing that, start looking elsewhere.

10. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 12:48PM UTC

    I support the idea of going off and finding information yourself, but confronting can be bad for all kinds of reasons. Mostly because my spider senses are yelling “this guy is a snake” and the last thing you want to do is let one of those know you’re onto their games because then the real fuckery begins.

11. Debbie FowlerJuly 6,2022 at 12:32PM UTC

    You have let too much time pass -- after one week I'd have been either sitting at his desk asking for knowledge, or forging my own path and finding my own way! Obviously he doesn't (1) have time for you and (2) really want to give up his secrets, so you need to forget about him and make your own connections. Liaise with other departments, find a better "mentor" to answer any questions but you should go out there and make this job your own -- forget about Mr. Gaslight over there! He's already sabotaging you by tattling to your boss you don't know what you should.

12. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 12:41PM UTC

    I agree, you should have been more assertive in gaining this knowledge sooner. But it is not to late to start. I would start scheduling weekly meetings with him and make sure to state in the invite the purpose of the each meeting. Without know your industry and job title, I have made the examples below somewhat generic.

    Week 1 - Who are the main contacts in each department he deals with regarding what types of issues and what is there background.

    Week 2 - What is the ticketing system for reporting issues with systems.

    Week 3 - Who would he consider good mentors, what are their strengths/why

    Week 4 - What 3 things he wished someone had told him/taught him right away when he started

13. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 12:59PM UTC

    Another vote for going to your boss and asking them to assign someone to train you. If that person doesn't schedule time with you, then you take the lead and book time on their calendar for the training sessions. Good luck!

14. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 1:39PM UTC

    I’ve been in this situation more than once and the way I’ve dealt with it is finding ways to learn on my own. I create lists of questions and areas where I need to learn and I try to ask people very short/quick questions any time I get the chance. It’s a very hodgepodge approach, but it helped me.

15. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachJuly 6,2022 at 1:44PM UTC

    You could write a list of the top 5-10 things you want to know and send him a calendar invite with an agenda of your top ones so he has an idea of what you want to talk about and its important to you enough that you are scheduling time on his calendar. This way he has the option to propose a new time and it will get done.

    Good on you for sticking with it because you're right, these things can easily not happen and next thing you know a whole year has gone by ! Maybe even look at your list of things you want to know and talk with other coworkers to figure them out too.

16. Communication CoachJuly 6,2022 at 9:09PM UTC

    Invite him by email with a copy to your manager. You may get an ongoing answer of they will get back with you on meeting date - then never follow-up. They may cancel or put it off or cut the meet short. It may be better to have them answer in writing before the meeting so you can try to ask questions. Something about this co-worker doesn't sit right. If you can find another person to be helpful, it might serve you better

17. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 2:19PM UTC

    I would not leave it to your colleague to build your knowledge of the company. Reach out and find other sources, Internet searches, etc.

18. ReachingGoalsJuly 6,2022 at 3:12PM UTC

    My go to answer when at a new company is "I don't know but I'll figure it out" then I look for other sources of information. You can't hang back and wait for someonelse to lead you along.

19. GirlBossanova934974July 6,2022 at 6:26PM UTC

    I think I strongly agree with what others have already said. Go find another 'fountain of knowledge' and leave Mr. Tell Ya Later on the side of the road. Mr. Tell Ya Later definitely has a passive aggressive problem which isn't worth dealing with.

20. Bradford McCormickJuly 6,2022 at 7:45PM UTC

    Ye shall know them by their works. Your "closest colleague" -- you mean as measured with a tape measure?

    It's bad enough somebody who keeps promising to help but never does but people can be busy, even all the time. But this is close to back stabbing. Have you been doing your best to learn your job without this person's help? Do you feel OK with yourself? If yes, what is there to do but to very politely and respectfully but straightforwardly have a little talk with your boss and hope (s)he is not in kahoots with this less than honorable person.

21. Communication CoachJuly 6,2022 at 9:04PM UTC

    Could you email put-it-off worker asking one or two questions with a CC: to your supervisor? Copying Managers on everything you are doing is a good documentation system in the friendliest of situations - keeping manager informed and a documention for yourself. When I learned to do this, it was amazing at how much more prompt response time was. Every couple of days send another question about the company to same colleague. Keeping if friendly with a note to effect of knowing they are busy and so are you, this may be easier as it gives them the option of answering at their earliest convenience. If you really want to push it a bit further you could express appreciation for their offer of teaching you about company procedures and protocol. Things that will not be online - only within the company. If you get no response or a snippy attitude, you probably should distance yourself from this person whom you thoguth was a close collegue. They may be jealous of you and trying to sabotage you. Watch other employees in how they do things. Ask other employees how they might address a particular issue you are working with. You can learn from others by asking, occasionally, and watching.

22. AnonymousJuly 6,2022 at 9:14PM UTC

    Did your company not set up some type of orientation/training/mentorship to go over the company, it's culture, policies, etc?
    if not, I wouldn't rely on a colleague saying they will teach me but rather reach out to my boss to say how can I gain more knowledge about the company and ask to set up some sort of formal meetings with those individuals. As a manager, I usually have some sort of formal training/mentorship process to get new employee oriented to the department/company.

23. AnonymousJuly 8,2022 at 11:07PM UTC

    Thank you for this post and those who reply on this inquiry. I, too have been 5 months at work. Am beginning to see who helps, friendly, open and who doesn't - I also see myself if I'm cordially reciprocal of my colleagues. I'm not perfect, yet I can change and do better.

24. AnonymousJuly 9,2022 at 12:10PM UTC

    Walk away from this person and find someone open and honest and not paranoid about sharing processes and policy.

25. Paula BrantnerJuly 10,2022 at 3:58PM UTC

    It sounds very passive aggressive and controlling. Withholding information to prevent someone from doing their job effectively is an effective technique to hang onto power and refuse to cede it to anyone else.

    In regards to the "I'll show you later when it is less busy" response, which may not be genuine, have you tried the technique of bombarding him with questions when you're working together on a project where you need that information? He's reluctant when it is viewed as a formal training, but can you gain the information without him realizing he's sharing what you need?

    Is there anyone else you can get the info from? If it is general information about the company, hopefully he is not the only source of that information, so it may be useful to strategically figure out what is minimally necessary and where to get it other that from this information hoarder.