How do I tell my boss I want to step down from being a lead on the team because they haven’t changed my title or increased my pay?

How do I tell my boss I want to step down from being a lead on the team because they haven’t changed my title or increased my pay?

A few months ago my manager left for a new role and instead of hiring a new manager they hired a co-worker at my level.

He had no experience using the tools we use or industry knowledge and I was asked to take on a “lead” role on the team and have basically taken on all the work my manager had been doing and delegating tasks and training new guy.

When they asked me to take the lead, I very directly said yes and you have to promote my title or increase my pay.

My current manager said yes and was talking to people to make that happen, until about 4 months ago when they did org change and shifted us to a new team.

She told my new manager that I was due for promotion and told me that he would bring it up in our first 1:1, but he didn’t. I brought it up and briefly explained the situation but he has done nothing to move it forward except to pile on loads more work and create higher expectations. We were already short handed and my new co-worker isn’t taking on his share of any of the work. He’s rarely available (we work remote). I’m being asked to work beyond what I have the capacity to work and I decided to leave this industry and pursue my Masters in an unrelated field due to burnout.

I need to keep this job for 6-12 more months until I start my new internship. How do I tell my manager that I won’t be attending his lead meetings, won’t be presenting as a lead, and don’t want to be in the lead role because I’m not being compensated and burnt out?

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22 Comments

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  1. Anonymous

    If you receieved a pay increase, would you keep the lead role? If yes, then say that to your manager.

    Otherwise if not, then tell your manager you would like to step down from the lead role and would like to discuss how to reallocate your responsibilities/ work to other team members.

    Either way, I would not mention your 6-12 month need to hang on to the role before your internship, especially if you want a pay increase. Good luck!

  2. Jessica Nicole Janvrin

    Not increasing pay or a title is a potential legal liability for a company, either sue them, talk to HR or look at the company handbook.

  3. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist

    Please expand on the legal liability.

  4. Anonymous

    It sounds to me like this announcement that you'll no longer be attending lead meetings, present as a lead, and won't preform in the lead role is meant to be a grenade to get your boss's attention. Be forewarned, though, there's a significant chance this won't work in your favor. If you're looking to move on in 6-12 months, I'm not sure I'd rock the boat at this point.

  5. Audrey Kirsch

    If you need the job for a while longer, you just need to keep bringing it up. To give any ultimatum is likely to get you let go. Since you are the lead, delegate more of the workload so you are not the only one overloaded.

  6. Anonymous

    You should resign. Trust me, you don't need this role as badly as you think. You can work temporary for the time period you have stated. Sign on with some agencies. They are taking advantage of you and the longer you put up with it the longer it will go on. You will be fine. You don't need this, along with the stress and toxicity.

  7. Anonymous

    Let’s start with your thoughts about needing to keep this job for 6-12 months. You do not need to keep THIS job. You need A job.

    Now let’s move on to your strategy of telling your manager what you will and won’t do. Unless you are angling to be fired, this don’t going to be well received. While a talk with your manager is a good idea, making demands isn’t. How about asking for help? I took on a number of responsibilities when we were as short handed as we were. I can’t get it all done and do my own job well on an ongoing basis. Now that we are more fully staffed, I’d like to step back a bit and “give back” the lead responsibilities.

    You could ask for permission to give some projects to the new hire. His lack of availability isn’t your problem. BTW, keep away from judgemental and snide implications about his being remote. There are plenty of people who do great work on a remote basis.

    You could also try an approach of saying that since the raise didn’t happen could they give you a bonus? Some companies may prefer this since they aren’t setting any salary precedents.

  8. Mary Pool

    I think the direct approach is best. "When I took on these responsibilities, I was told I would have a title change and a significant pay increase. As this has not happened, I will immediately be stepping away from this role." Then shed the roles that are not commensurate with your new position. When asked for help, say, "I am no longer in this role. You need to talk (insert manager's name)." Repeat as needed. You are not responsible for training the new hire, ensuring your duties are handed off, or ensuring the new person is available. That is now up to your manager. You negotiated an arrangement when you took the position. You have fulfilled your part; they have not fulfilled theirs; therefore, the agreement is off.

    Since you are leaving in six months, this is an excellent opportunity to experiment with standing up for yourself, expressing your thoughts professionally, and setting boundaries. Don't let this opportunity pass by; it doesn't come along that often in a professional career. Be aware that they may want to let you go sooner than you want if you stand up. Still, in company terms, six months is not that long, and it would probably take them that long to get all of the paperwork done. Plus, they are understaffed, so letting someone go would be a hardship for the department.

  9. Zeecil Kimmel

    I was offered a role as a team lead but at least I was told beforehand there would be no title change or pay increase. As with you, I did much more than I had signed up for including my manager's job. I finally left after being overlooked several times for a promotion. Looking back I feel as though I could have done things differently. If you only need this job for a few more months and you do not want the managerial portion I would have an "honest" conversation with your management and say clearly "when I agreed to take on a lead role I was in a different place in my life. Right now I am not able to give this role my all and I would like to continue moving forward as a member of the team" Act humble and keep stressing for the good of the company. Make it sound like you are voluntarily stepping down and accepting a lower title/role.

    Best of luck to you.

  10. Liz Milne

    I would be blunt: 'I accepted the lead duties on the understanding that I would receive a pay bump and a new job title. That hasn't happened, so, with immediate effect, I'm reverting to work commensurate with my earnings and current job title.'

  11. Seema Madhavan

    This is the best approach in my opinion.

  12. Rosa Thomas

    Best answer, Liz . Too often on this forum, I hear advice that says, "just don't rock the boat". But employers must be held accountable for the demands and promises they make. The level of disrespect by employers that I read about these day is staggering. We can't just "take it" without pushing back. Otherwise employee treatment will only get worse.

  13. Anonymous

    Telling your boss your going to start doing less is not going to go well. I’d start looking for another job immediately. I would tell them I’m resigning due to reasons stated, but you’re willing to help them transition the role. They are either going to start doing backflips to keep you or let the door hit you. Either way you know where you stand and you can pull back with no real consequences. That place is toxic, they’re never gonna promote you, run.

  14. Mary Pool

    Respectfully I would not do this. Telling an employer you are leaving is always a bad idea unless you already have an offer. They will no longer have a vested interest in keeping you happy or promoting your work. Also, why in the would she help transition the role? She had done her part, and they have not done theirs. Either they will step up and fulfill their commitments when she steps down or they won't. Transitioning the role is a job for her manager, if or when she steps back, she needs to stay firmly in her own lane. Stop rescuing these people and start making them live with the consequences of their non-actions.

  15. Anonymous

    To buy her time until the internship happens with less work expectations. And yes she should look for another job to be ready to leave. That’s the first thing I said.

  16. Sunflower

    Was the agreement made in writing? If you want to stay there for 6-12 months, I wouldn’t say anything more to them about your salary or the workload because they don’t seem to be taking your request for pay seriously. I think you’ll want to find the lessons in this situation. You both agreed that they would pay you if you did the lead work. They didn’t hold up their part of the agreement and you allowed that. You did the lead work for free, and you did it for a very long time. Why would they pay you if you’re willing to volunteer to do the work? Why did you break your own agreement? Are you really burned out from the actual workload or are you tired from the energy drain and resentment that can come with knowing that they didn’t pay you? For the future, consider enforcing your boundaries and giving yourself what you need. No one is going to do that for you. There’s a two letter word you will want to use when your boundaries are getting crossed: “no”. You’ll have a lot more energy and respect for your own boundaries after you say it a few times. If you don’t get comfortable with this boundary enforcement, you’re going to carry this problem into your new career and may find yourself asking similar questions down the road about why people aren’t treating you the way you want to be treated. As for this current job, it’s too late to say no directly and have it honored. A consideration that hasn’t already been shared: Perhaps take an extended weekend for a break and come back refreshed and ready to do all of the work expected as a lead. Leave this job on a good note when you have another already. That way, if for some odd reason the internship doesn’t work out, you have a chance of coming back to this job and potentially at the salary you want and with a fresh start and perspective. You’re obviously a good/kind person, and sometimes that gets taken advantage of. Best wishes.

  17. agirlhasnoname

    Honestly I would just gradually start doing less without saying anything. It will take them a year to build a case to fire you and by then you'll be gone anyway. Seriously, just start asking people on the team to take in a responsibility here and there and offload yourself.

  18. Rhonda L. Carson

    Are you eligible to apply for other positions in the company? Something similar happened to me and as soon as my manager realized I was applying for other roles he quickly took action to fix the problem. My title was updated and I received a retroactive raise that included 4 months of back pay.If you escalate, be sure to follow the chain of command before going to HR. Best of luck to you!

  19. Anonymous

    I am sorry to hear about your experience. I remember that my cousin once worked for the government. He was given additional duties of recruiting and hiring. Yet, my cousin was not given a pay increase.

    Sadly, my cousin held this position for about a year or two years. From what I understand, the bosses' friend was hired and promoted, not cousin. I believe my cousin decided to transfer to another part of the government instead.

  20. maria rose

    This is a typical labor cost-saving move by many corporations, including government jobs, as a means to "appear more efficient" without spending extra money. Many middle-management jobs are being erased by just utilizing individuals to take on the job duties (mostly paperwork duties) along with the hands-on work. Sometimes they might ask you to take on the responsibilities and sometimes it appears they are just assuming that someone will do it. Whoever is making these decisions for a "more efficient" workplace is only using the cost factors and not the actual work involved. In this type of situation, the decision involved is two-fold--1. Is doing the paperwork making my job harder? 2. Am I looking for the title or the raise in pay? For the first question, why were you doing the paperwork when the manager was there--to learn a job skill or looking to be promoted? If you were looking for getting internally promoted, does the company have a long-term history of internal promotion upgrades for employees? As far as the second question, what value does a title get you besides a name with no financial gain and even more pressure on performance? Getting a title doesn't create an easier job to do at work it puts you on the hot seat to get things done that you can't blame others for not doing.

    One thing I have learned over the years of working is to not take on job duties without realizing how it affects your regular work duties and makes them stressful. Unless you are approached and given the assignment as part of change in job roles.

  21. G C Hesse

    Be Direct and Flat about what you want for deserve.

  22. Anonymous

    I had a very similar situation. If this job is not a major stepping stone in your career (which it sounds like it isn’t) there is no reason for you to burn out for their benefit. I would send a copy of your job summary (the one you share with your new coworker) and point out that these are the expectations of a person in your position, and until you are provided with a new summary, title and compensation, you will be staying in your lane. You could say that you don’t feel it’s appropriate for you to perform duties you’re not authorized to perform at your level.

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