I start my new job tomorrow and since accepting it and waiting to start I found out I was pregnant.

9 Comments

1. Naomi Is KingJanuary 5,2025 at 7:29PM UTC

   Do not tell them until two months before your due date. You want to allow for the probationary period to end. Also, you don't know what the dynamics of the department/company are until you are actually there doing the job. And always, always, always put it in writing to cover yourself and provided a paper trail of your request and their response. Make sure to Bc: (blind copy) yourself the requested email as well. Any direct conversations with leads, supervisors, management or HR, you should follow up with an email (paper trail) to COA (cover your a**), no matter how friendly coworkers may be, COA. -Congratulations and much luck to you, I wish you a healthy pregnancy!

2. AnonymousJanuary 6,2025 at 4:04PM UTC

   Thank you for taking the time to respond! this is very helpful!

3. AnonymousJanuary 22,2025 at 7:09PM UTC

   Agree, do not share until you absolutely have to if you are a new employee. This information is not owed to your employer. I started a job 6 months pregnant and started interviewing for it when I was 4 weeks pregnant, that is how long the process was. I did not tell them until I absolutely had to.

4. AnonymousJanuary 6,2025 at 4:04PM UTC

   Thank you for your thoughts! This is very helpful!

5. AnonymousJanuary 6,2025 at 5:53PM UTC

   I would not share and *if* I got sick I would try and work around it. You can't make these types of decision based on *what ifs*

6. AnonymousJanuary 6,2025 at 9:27PM UTC

   You work with your health professional on providing what you need to be able to get through those commitments. You don't have to share at this point, so I would suggest figuring out how to work through it. Be proactive.

7. AnonymousJanuary 7,2025 at 5:43PM UTC

   Just exactly as you were assuming. Don't share until you are sure the pregnancy is viable and when you do share be sure to put it in writing with a doctors note. Assuming you are working for an ethical employer this should suffice. When and if you need time away due to being ill then you have documentation of this in your records. Be sure to cc HR and also your personal email as well for certain.

8. AnonymousJanuary 8,2025 at 2:01PM UTC

   As someone mentioned previously - work with your doctor on techniques/ compensating methods to help quell a queasy stomach. If, this is your first pregnancy, you have no benchmarks to go by. If second or more, rely on what would set you up on morning sickness.

   Smells will be you main culprit most of the time. Coffee may be a trigger. Maybe go down to breakfast later or just have some oatmeal in your room. I have been to conferences with other coworkers - breakfast isn't usually a big deal to not be seen. Lunch and dinners will be where you will be missed if not in attendance. Carry lots of crackers, have a few bottles of water. I would also have a few plastic bags, just in case you can't make t to the bathroom (doggie poop bags are great for this). I personally find lavender very comforting. A small sachet/bar of soap of it to hold under your nose may help. There may be better scents for controlling morning sickness - a good herbalist could help you on that front.

   If by chance you do get sick with an audience, just say you must have eaten something that didn't agree with you. Or can say long covid effects. We have a co-worker here who since having covid can no longer be in the same room with coffee. The smell of it gets her every time. There are some other smells that get her as well. Just remember if you use that as you reason for becoming sick, don't drink coffee ever again. Orange juice may be a good one to say or oatmeal smell. - Just trying to give you some ideas.

   I also agree - you don't need to tell anyone you are pregnant until you are through probationary period just in case they aren't very accepting.

9. AyianJanuary 12,2025 at 3:20PM UTC

   Some tips for dealing with nausea and vomiting:

   Both ginger and citric acid can settle most morning sickness episodes. Ginger ale made with real ginger such as Canada Dry and candies like Gingins are very low key ways you could manage your nausea in the middle of an event.

   Citric acid syrups are available in the over the counter section of a pharmacy, but I found that apples are more effective. The insoluble fiber from the pulp absorbs stomach acid, which calms things down even further. Additionally, it's the only thing that tastes the same coming up as going down, so when the episode is too severe to be avoided, it will smell and taste of apple, not bile.

   As mentioned in other posts, smells are an issue, but generally the queasiness is not caused by smell sensitivities, but internal factors. If you're struggling with it at that time, eat mild foods and take them to your room where you don't have to compete with the other smells. Furthermore, wear a mask. Not only will you reduce your chances of getting sick, you'll mute the smells of people's perfume, cologne, and food.

   Do not tell your employer until 2-3 months before your due date or until you can no longer hide it, whichever comes first. They need to know so they can find a temp to fill in for you, but they are not entitled to and should not have most of your pregnancy to think about whether they should replace you right now so they don't have to worry about a temp later. Just because it's illegal to fire someone for being pregnant doesn't mean it doesn't happen.