Not included in emails....until they need help to resolve.

17 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 15,2023 at 10:44PM UTC

   I'm curious to what others say; this has happened to me and annoying (usually it's "an accident" but it's those that are in the clique and want me out of the loop until....)

   So many times I *wanted* to say "I could have helped in the beginning, but since I wasn't included then, why would I help now?"

   I look forward to the insight on this!!

2. AnonymousMay 16,2023 at 12:09PM UTC

   Like your comment to my post 'So many times I *wanted* to say "I could have helped in the beginning, but since I wasn't included then, why would I help now?" I too look forward to the advice from others!!

3. AnonymousMay 16,2023 at 11:44PM UTC

   Thanks!

   In my experience, seems like some know it all until they know nothing (or pretend to be ignorant to be lazy)

   I like the group email idea. Reply -all is a great solution for times like this

4. AnonymousMay 17,2023 at 6:26AM UTC

   I'd go with that OR you can respond with suggesting receipt date. "Catching up on this thread as I was looped in recently or on X date"

   I was crucified on a call by a CEO for calling out a feature that doesn't exist for customers / in the app/platform. Aparently I am failing for not driving this with customers. Honestly was sweating and searching documentation and FAQs even though I knew how it worked, maybe I missed it and if I did "UGH" cause our team and clients would be so happy.

   Turns out it was a convo with maybe 5-10 people in product and across leadership of proposed upgrades. No follow up apology. It happened on a zoom that included my boss (with no support in the moment) and a dozen others across the org. I was mortified at the time and then relieved to know it was a separate discussion and I was correct in knowing product functionality. I was crushed knowing everyone on that call saw me get hammered on a false assumption, yet no one on that call learned the actual truth.

5. AnonymousMay 16,2023 at 12:44PM UTC

   It depends on who the coworker is. Is this person your boss or a peer? Why are they responsible for sending out emails from the company's owner? Perhaps you should show them how to use an email "group" to send the email to multiple employees. If they are already doing that, all they need to do is add your email address to their group.

6. Cindy GrossMay 16,2023 at 6:04PM UTC

   Maybe something like a joke about understanding how tough it is to keep track of everything in a complex project. Then give them the process to request a group be created in your email system (or slack or whatever) and thank them for doing this to make sure the projects stay on track.

7. AnonymousMay 17,2023 at 6:49PM UTC

   Thank you great suggestion!

8. AnonymousMay 17,2023 at 4:27PM UTC

   Respond with a question: “Again?”

   A way to signal to your colleague and anyone nearby that this is a repeated (potentially intentional) behavior.

9. AnonymousMay 17,2023 at 6:48PM UTC

   Love that! Will use that single powerful word! Thank you

10. Barbara MoserMay 18,2023 at 4:25PM UTC

    And sweetly add instructions on how to make, or find the existing, team group in e-mail.

11. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 5:04PM UTC

    I think you address it with the owner of the company. If it is a privately owned firm then let the owner know you are consistently being left out until there is a crisis which means you are put into a fire drill situation and that is counterproductive to you being successful in supporting the companies needs. Make it about the business not about you. If it continues then you can share examples after that conversation with the owner that will illuminate the situation directly and leave it to him to address it with that employee. Not sure if there is HR but if there is do the same with HR. Don't point a finger at this guy because he is passively aggressively trying to get a reaction from you and if you do react negatively to him specifically it won't be good for you. For whatever reason he has trying to be more valued or important that you in the company and your reaction needs to stay positive and let others too see how he is doing this.

12. AnonymousMay 20,2023 at 12:15PM UTC

    Thank you so much for your insight on how to present this situation. Excellent advice !

13. AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 1:06PM UTC

    Like another poster said, I’d go with replying to all and "Catching up on this thread as I was just looped in today or XYZ date” and then flex your knowledge to all… list all of the reasons for why this is incorrect or broken and what now needs to be done now to fix it.

14. AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 6:05PM UTC

    Thank you for your input!

15. Liz MilneMay 31,2023 at 1:22AM UTC

    I would say, very dryly, making it absolutely clear that I don't believe for one moment that he forgot: 'Oh, again, Tom? You forgot to add me to the email chain again. What a shame.' Or I would start asking him (in front of the boss) daily if there were any emails I should have been included in on, as he's so 'forgetful'.

    But that's because I'm petty af and hate inter-office politicking!

16. AnonymousMay 31,2023 at 6:25PM UTC

    Laughing as reading your suggestion.... I have no problem saying this! Thank you!

17. Amanda HaydenJune 13,2023 at 12:48PM UTC

    Is there someone else who is consistently on these email threads that you trust? I'd say you've asked co-worker to include you at the beginning of conversations but they keep forgetting so you'd appreciate it if they could check if you're included in the conversation. A simple: "Looping [you] in, I saw they weren't included." email would go a long way. Your coworker wouldn't want that email to have to be sent out more than twice.