I’m always filled with anxiety and worry when my boss questions me about anything.

9 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 9,2022 at 1:30PM UTC

   Listen to your gut while trying not to overthink things. I recently went through a similar situation and it resulted in being laid off of work. I would update your resume, explore LInkedIn connections and start job searching. Even if it's only in your mind, do you want to continue to feel that way. If your boss is open to having a conversation on your terms, request a meeting regarding what's going well, needs improving or future department plans. That way, you're covering both bases. Good luck!

2. AnonymousJuly 10,2022 at 12:54PM UTC

   Same here. I saw the writing on the wall, but the message from the boss was that I could fix things. But I was correct in thinking my situation was hopeless. I was let go, and by the time I left I was happy to go.

3. Jan WintersJuly 9,2022 at 2:05PM UTC

   I have the same issue.

4. AnonymousJuly 9,2022 at 5:27PM UTC

   Me too

5. Christine Brush, MSW, MBAJuly 9,2022 at 2:28PM UTC

   If you were fearful of a parent and how they questioned or disciplined you (or caretaker) then you are more likely to be triggered by an authority figure, even if it seems like a basic question. You might benefit from therapy to address your fear and practice toning down your triggers. EMDR is a good therapy for PTSD if that is a possible problem, or CBT. Until you address this and develop a means to manage this, it will continue to bother you.

6. AnonymousJuly 10,2022 at 10:29AM UTC

   If you have anxiety in general research the carnivore diet and it’s benefits with regard to anxiety. Also get regular walks in daily or exercise to burn off that excess energy. Other than that you can be more strategic. Some bosses just have that element of surprise style of leading and get a kick of stumping people. Treat it like a puzzle to figure out your bosses pattern. Take the initiative to schedule a 1 on 1 to see if u can iron out all concerns before they manifest into stumpifying questions. In some circumstances more engagement with your boss might solve it.

7. AnonymousJuly 10,2022 at 12:51PM UTC

   Seeing a real therapist is in order, because there is some underlying issue there. There are lots of possible causes, even rejection sensitivity dysphoria, which is an ADHD symptom. And then if you have undiagnosed ADHD (which I did until last year), getting "into trouble" from mistakes due to inattention is a lifelong pattern. ... or you were bullied in 5th grade ... or you were brought up with parents who praised who you are as a person ("you're so clever") instead of what you accomplished ("wow, you did a great job on that drawing")... or you have GAD ... etc.

8. AnonymousJuly 10,2022 at 3:22PM UTC

   I m having the same issue and think they want to manage me out but don’t have the staff to replace me just yet. But all the signs are clear, I m spending all my efforts on external job search since anything I do at work will be fruitless for me. It’s really difficult mentally. I almost feel better if they just flat out give me the package…

9. AnonymousJuly 10,2022 at 11:49PM UTC

   I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. A number of things could be going on:

   1) Your instinct is correct and they are intending to fire you. If so:

   -Keep an off-site diary of your work successes and how you are being treated in case you want to negotiate a termination settlement or bring a legal case for discrimination or harassment. (Note: in the United States discrimination or harassment suits must generally be on the grounds of race, religion, ethnicity, gender or sexual preference. Age discrimination suits are more difficult to prove and offer a more limited payout, so attorneys are often reluctant to take these cases on.)

   -If your company is making it impossible for you to do your job, you might be able to sue on the grounds of constructive termination.

   -If you seek legal counsel, it’s best to use an employment law specialist who represents plaintiffs (employees), instead of a general legal practitioner. You might want to research a few firms now and discuss possible approaches

   -Get your resume and your references together and start seeking new employment now. If viable, look for internal transfers within the company as well as jobs elsewhere.

   -Put your energy into moving forward, not parsing your status with your current employer.

   -Take meticulous care of yourself and leave your troubles at the office. Use your out-of-the office time for your job search and for relaxation and rejuvenation.

   2)Your company is not intending to fire you, but your relationship with your boss needs repair or your boss needs retraining. If this is the case, is there an HR Department that can help resolve the situation constructively? If you approach HR on this subject, do it in the spirit of wanting the work process to run more smoothly both for you *and* your boss.

   By the way, is your boss singling you out for bad treatment, or is this the way your boss treats your colleagues? If the latter, would it make sense for a group to approach HR?

   3)A third possibility is that you are suffering from an anxiety disorder. What happens when your boss questions you? Is there always a negative outcome and is your worry excessive for the circumstances? If your worry and anxiety are excessive/interfering with your life, you might want to seek counseling with a private professional or professionals or your EAP (Employee Assistance Program.) The treatments for anxiety disorders are typically cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), supplemented by medication if needed. If you suspect an anxiety disorder, seek a psychologist or psychiatrist who specializes in anxiety issues. If it turns out that medication would be beneficial, you will need an MD (psycho-pharmacologist, psychiatrist or internist) to prescribe it and monitor your adaptation to it.