Received an offer from my old job - I want to be back in that industry, but I'm not sure about going back...I feel like it's appealing because it's nice to be wanted - But I left for a reason, Right?

15 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 20,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

   If they have lost several people recently, they still have problems. You have several issues, I can see:

   1. A potentially toxic new workplace. The negativity that surrounds you can become draining,
   2. Your current salary may be significantly more than your old job is willing to match, let alone exceed.
   3. The benefits at your new place are better. Are you taking advantage of and using all of those benefits?

   I can see several things you need to do if you choose even to entertain going back.

   1. Explain precisely why you left and ask if those issues have been addressed. Have them explain exactly. If it was pay, demonstrate your new pay scale. If it was a promotion, ask to come in at a higher level than when you left (due to your current salary, that may be a requirement anyway). Are they among those who left if it was toxic co-workers or bosses?
   2. Ensure that they understand that you are not currently looking for a new job, so they will have to make it well worth your while to return.

   Being wanted is always appealing, but it alone cannot be the reason to return to something you felt compelled to leave. It also sounds like your new workplace has a lot of negativity, although they make up for it with a higher salary and better benefits. Take it from someone with experience; in the long run, this will significantly impact your mental health.

   I hope I have given you some things to consider as you process this new offer. Good luck to you!!

2. Amy KeachMarch 20,2023 at 1:37PM UTC

   I think this advice is spot on. Specifically regarding the negativity in your current workplace - you're a new mom, after all. That negativity is not only going to affect you, but your family as well. I recommend taking stock of what you really want to do. Be clear on your goals and your must-haves and nice-to-haves, and what you want to avoid if at all possible. Then I'd take a good hard look at both companies and see where each falls. You may have just returned from maternity leave, but don't let that stop you from looking around and really evaluating. I could have been in a much better, more supportive role if I had let myself entertain the opportunity of moving when it was presented to me, instead of feeling like I needed to wait a little while. The bottom line here is knowing what you want, and going for it. Best of luck to you!

3. AnonymousMarch 20,2023 at 2:03PM UTC

   Thank you both! My current workplace is full of men who are not super forward thinking - they don't like new advances to make things more efficient, they think it causes more problems, and I've been one of the people helping push some of these updates. It's hard not to take some of that negativity personally.

   I'm trying to really remember why I left. My previous boss was the President of our division and when I put in my notice he was not happy at all. He was a micromanager, and did not like how we were doing things. It makes me nervous to go back because I don't want to have to work with him. I would be on a different team, but he would still be there... I also left because I didn't make that much money, and I wasn't getting promoted. I was managing a team of 5 people and wasn't recognized for that.

   Do I reach out and just say, before we waste too much time, here is the salary I would need to even consider making a move? And then discuss further? because honestly the whole point is moot if they can't pay me what I need.

4. AnonymousMarch 20,2023 at 2:53PM UTC

   Yes, and I like your approach. I would also insist on it being a supervisory or management role, as you did before, just not being recognized for it. If it goes any further than that, ask about how involved the president is in the day-to-day affairs of the new team. Go from there, and trust your gut. You have a clear picture of why you left from what you wrote here.

5. Mare LevineMarch 20,2023 at 2:11PM UTC

   I think it depends upon how risk-adverse you are, and only you can know that.

   Here's my view of your options:

   A. Return to Previous Employer

   The good thing is you and your skills were remembered and they have reached out to you. They have great benefits. This would be a different supervisor and slightly different work than the job you had before that didn't thrill you. It also USED to pay 30% less than what you are currently making, and it USED to be more customer-facing than you liked.

   B. Stay Where You Are

   The good news is that your bosses like you and you get paid 30% more than at your last job (Yay!). Not so great news are the lackluster benefits and a negative culture with co-workers who would rather complain than produce.

   C. Go Somewhere Else

   Recognize that you do good work and are valued by both your current and previous company. That means other companies out there would probably want you on their team, too.

   You could do A, B, and C if you felt really rowdy. You could reach out to your original job and say, 'I am flattered that you remember my work so highly. I am interested in finding out more details around what my possible work would entail.' Then you have a conversation. Find out what they're willing to pay and if the new position would be more engineering and less customer-focused.

   Meanwhile, at your current position is there a way to either 1) Can you anonymously make a suggestion about improving company culture to help deal with the negative coworkers (This has to be done so carefully as you don't want any backlash from supervisors or those negative coworkers) or 2) Can you mentally put their complaints on mute/ignore? With a new baby, you may be more tired and stressed. This negative culture issue could become more important to you now, and put a bigger dent in your work/life balance than it might have in the past.

   Finally, if you decide neither options A nor B really thrill you any more, start looking for a job that checks more boxes for you. We all have a wish list in our heads of what the perfect job would be like. However, just like buying a home or renting an apartment, you usually have to compromise somewhere.

   You should always have your resume updated anyway, so if it's in need of a make-over, now might be the time to do it. Then review the risk/reward ratio in your options and get started on your plan.

   Cheering you on!

6. AnonymousMarch 20,2023 at 5:18PM UTC

   If you received an offer, you must know their salary intentions. You left for a reason, and ALL business gurus tell us to never go back. Sounds like you need to make the old Pro/Con list and really, really review it looking at your wants vs. needs. Maybe there's a way for you to speak about benefits to management somehow. Create a task force to see what could be added or exchanged for what is currently offered. Benefits cost money, so if you're making that great money, maybe the company can't afford those benefits. Good Luck to you.

7. LMarch 21,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

   I went back once and it felt like a time warp. Meaning it felt the same and I'd changed my point of view on things, we weren't a fit anymore. I'm in the camp of if you left once, you'll probably leave again and you left for a reason. I'd say avoid going back, look for something new and an even better fit.

8. AnonymousMarch 21,2023 at 1:12PM UTC

   Did you apply for the job?

9. Meg SungaMarch 21,2023 at 3:25PM UTC

   Respectfully, don’t do it.

   I was courted by a former colleague to come back to work at a company I had left. I was promised it would be different— that I would

   be under a new supervisor, that the role was “made for me in mind” and that the salary was exactly what I wanted….

   Harsh reality: The exec director was still toxic and the team all worked in fear. I lasted a week.

   forward momentum always.

10. AnonymousMarch 21,2023 at 7:38PM UTC

    I would suggest you find out why people are leaving. This could be a red flag.

11. AnonymousMarch 21,2023 at 10:08PM UTC

    Yes, I have been. I would definitely meet with your former boss and just listen. Don't react directly during the meeting but definitely hear what he has to say. Ask him why you? Definitely let him know directly 100% of what made you leave. Don't talk about money at all. After the meeting you can go back to your current job and then can compare the before and the possibility of going back. You can then lay things out on a spreadsheet but definitely be certain that a move benefits you and no one else. Don't take less money unless you get something in exchange.

12. TanviMarch 22,2023 at 1:59AM UTC

    The pros you have in the current company:

    • A good boss (not easy to find)
    • a really good pay check

    if the negativity around you is affecting your performance/efficiency, it’s time you addressed it. However, going back to the previous company may not be the best solution, since you left it for a reason, and a good one.

    I would suggest try and manage negativity around you. May be not always get involved in a conversation or when you do, talk about things YOU want to talk about. Try and focus on your work and less on the surroundings. I know it’s easier said than done, but try!

    also, never switch to any company on the same payscale. Always look for a hike. That’s the way it works.

    I suggest try things here first. If it still doesn’t make you happy, apply elsewhere, where you get to use your skills to max your performance. There are many companies with great perks and benefits for employees. I hope you find one of them for you if the current one doesn’t work.

    all the best!

13. AnonymousMarch 22,2023 at 2:16AM UTC

    I guess I’m in the minority here. Let’s say they do match your pay. If the culture has not changed you will probably not be very happy, even with the better benefits. It’s always great to be wanted and approached. To me jobs are like relationships going back hoping it will be different does not guarantee it. If you’re ready to move on maybe dipping the pool with a new employer would be worth the try. Overall it’s always good to have a conversation with what they have to offer. It may give you the clarity you need.

14. AnonymousMarch 22,2023 at 2:43PM UTC

    I left the my previous company after 15 years for something that had less stress, less hours, and about $10k more a year plus hefty bonuses. About 6 months after I left someone from my old company called to see how I was doing. It was to feel me out as my old role had an opening. I wasn't super happy at the new company (still am not but it's getting better) though it is a better fit for my health, work-life balance and sanity. It's a tough thing to think about, I wish you luck!

15. AnonymousMarch 22,2023 at 7:16PM UTC

    Assuming they will match your current salary, I think you want to compare how you felt working at your old company with how you feel working at your new company.

    All things considered, at which place were you more content with the day to day of the work, the culture and the people? And if the old company modified your job duties, would that be enough?

    Or have you been relatively discontent with both and perhaps would prefer to seek a third option (which will have a high element of the unknown)?