I’m planning on resigning from my company after 10 years.

46 Comments

1. Crystal TysonNovember 4,2023 at 6:40PM UTC

   I think an authentic conversation as you slide that letter of resignation across to him is needed. The fact that after 10 years, you are willing to let go should send a message to him. He needs to understand how it's impacting you. You can't keep picking up the pieces of his mess and if pride won't let him let this person go - then he will need to cover for her - not you. It's ok. I have found in my 30+ years, if it's gotten to a point that you're ready to go - go! Something better is right around the corner. Every time I've been laid off - I was offered another opportunity to grow and thrive! Trust that he will either wake up and keep you and let her go - or it's simply time for you to let go and move on. Either way, it's ok. And it's ok to save yourself and your peace.

2. AnonymousNovember 4,2023 at 7:27PM UTC

   First, you didn't help the situation by cleaning up her messes. It's not his problem because you've made it your problem. If you decide to stay, be clear that you are no longer doing/correcting her work. When it's his problem to fix, he's more likely to decide it's actually a problem. Second, is there any other issue that's been bothering you? This is your chance to negotiate for additional pay, professional development, an updated job description with more of what you enjoy and less of what you hate, or a promotion (or at least a clear path and timeline to one - and get it in writing). Since you're ready to walk, you have nothing to lose.

3. Erika CNovember 4,2023 at 7:52PM UTC

   First, stop fixing other people’s screw-ups and covering for them… even if it affects the outcome of work. You’re the one taking accountability for two people’s work without any reason for doing so. You’ve placed the burden on yourself instead of making her stand on her own. Now she knows she can rely on you to clean things up because you’ve allowed it. Throw down some boundaries right now. The people pleasing part of you isn’t helping you in this moment. If you plan this a little better, you can keep your job and make your boss see how she’s not doing her job. This either garners you some deserved respect or let’s you know to move on. However, from an outside perspective, the problem was never solved and you made sure to cover her for creating the problems. If there are processes for how workflow and collaboration are handled, are you both not ascribing to them? Assert yourself and find a way to show you e been doing all the work while she has been lackadaisical and inefficient with her work. If you’re angry, you may be reacting out of haste because this issue hasn’t been well communicated with follow up on progress. Talk to your boss and let him know what your plans are and that you’re going to give it x-amount of time. If things don’t improve with weekly meetings between all three of you on work progress, the decision for all will be clear. If this other employee has never had to take accountability in her position, if she’s leaning on her newness to get away with things, or if she’s never had proper training, those are all big problems with an adverse end result. Communicate with your boss, draw your boundaries, and offer a timeline. At the very least, you lay everything out on the table to change the situation for the best, or you learn you’re not appreciated or respected. Keeping it all under cover simply doesn’t work. In interviews, when you’re asked about difficult situations you had to overcome and find resolve, this would be the opportunity.

4. AnonymousNovember 5,2023 at 2:56PM UTC

   I agree with some of the other points, but disagree with several things. First and foremost, if you are responsible for the project and activities, letting her fail also makes you fail as the project leader. If you're not the lead, you also fail as part of the team. If she is unwilling or incapable of doing her tasks, someone has to, and if it isn't you, you also fail. That said, while it could have been handled with better onboarding and training (if it is her skillset, that's the problem), someone has to pick up the slack. I get that and would probably do the same thing in your position.

   As mentioned in numerous previous posts, the only thing you have to say when you resign is that you are leaving by giving two weeks' notice and stating what your last day is. This needs to be in writing and is best delivered personally to your boss. If you have another job lined up, there is no room for negotiation, and you can state that.

   When I left my first job (after three years), I told the director that if I stayed another ten years, I would still be doing the same thing I was doing today. His response was, "You're probably right." This was after my boss tried to get me to tell him how much I was offered so HE could negotiate a counteroffer. I told him the same thing I told the director, and he wouldn't relent in figuring out how much I was offered. It was the only reason I went to the director, and that conversation told me there would have never been any counter. All I'm saying is that if he tries to counter, state that you are leaving, and it isn't negotiable.

5. AnonymousNovember 5,2023 at 6:12PM UTC

   If OP doesn't have the ability to hire/fire, and the person who does have that ability doesn't see a problem, nothing will ever change. As long as the problems are being fixed before they reach the level of the one with authority, there IS no problem. I've seen this many times in action, and it's a very consistent first step from Ask A Manager. Lots of communication in email, copying the manager to make sure they know where the weak link is, and NOT fixing all the problems is the only way to get things moving in this kind of situation.

6. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 2:38PM UTC

   So you would sabotage a project rather than mentor a new employee? This would be very demotivating to the new employee. Like everyone is "ganging up on them. I typically work with the new employee as a mentor to help bring them up to speed rather than walk away and let a project go down the tubes. If they aren't "getting it" or they aren't motivated to do the work, I take that to management, but I still make sure that the job gets done. They had to do something to fill in the gap before hiring someone, so continue doing that until the person can take off on their own. Help them as much as you can along the way. This shows management that you can lead a team, and it will work well for your career advancement.

7. AnonymousNovember 5,2023 at 4:06PM UTC

   Unless you have another job lined up I wouldn’t resign. Think of all the escenarios. What if you resign and the say, cool thank you for your service bye bye! Would you be ok with that?. Have an honest conversation with your manager and explain the situation, and highlight that as much as you want to help this new person it has been quite demanding and it would not be a sustainable way to approach the situation.

8. Maggie StoneNovember 6,2023 at 1:41PM UTC

   You’re feeling angry, frustrated, under appreciated and undervalued and taken for granted after 10 years. Totally understandable. However, since you’ve been there 10 years, that’s probably not simply out of loyalty. Before you slide that resignation letter into the bosses hands, I would have a real conversation with your boss about these issues and see if you can come up with a plan of action about dealing with her. If he digs his heels in and won’t have a constructive conversation, then time for that exit plan.

9. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 1:50PM UTC

   Are those other options actual job offers? If not, you must have an honest conversation with your boss. It is clear he is aware of the situation but is it affecting other employees or just you?

10. GirlBossanova934974November 6,2023 at 1:51PM UTC

    Unless you have another job lined, there is no way I would resign. You can simply stop cleaning up the messes. Then see where the chips fall. Bad hires happen every day. Many times, managers ignore their staff and hire whomever they want to. In those cases, it is now on the manager to fix the problem. In my career, I cannot recall a single instance where going against the staff has worked out for the manager. The new employee does in fact turn out to be a bad hire. These sorts of signs show themselves during the interviewing process. In some cases, the candidate is very evasive when it comes to simple questions. In some cases, they are full of form answers and try too hard to impress. They are there to impress and make the interviewer feel good. I have seen them all.

11. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 5:49PM UTC

    Agree completely. Start looking for a new job. Stop picking up the pieces and let it all fall down. If you’re cleaning up for her, do they even know there is a problem?

12. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 2:06PM UTC

    There is great advice noted above

    a few points

    If you are resigning with hopes of “making a statement”, you will be the one left behind.

    There may be reasons unbeknownst to you as to why the person was hired and why they are not terminated. You cannot expect your boss to confide in you as to her strategy or reasons for her decision

    Your emotions are high and I would not be surprised if they are also coming through at your workplace.

    Please have an honest and unemotional conversation with your boss where you can be calm, forthright and provide solutions to the problem without an ultimatum.

13. Lori SchmitzNovember 6,2023 at 2:24PM UTC

    Unless you have a new job, I would not resign. (Unless you won the lottery). I am sorry this is frustrating for you, but resigning in protest without another job is something you do in the movies, not real life.

    I would find a confidant, a friend or therapist outside of work to download on. Get the anger & frustration out if your head so you can look at it as a whole vs the sparks currently occupying your brain.

    lastly? Find another job, then resign.

14. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 3:14PM UTC

    I have resigned without a job lined up, and the sense of freedom I experienced was incredible. I always save up enough money that I can coast for a few months without a job, and some of the happiest weeks of my life have been when I can just enjoy my life without the 40 hour grind taking up all my time and energy. Just saying… it’s not “just in the movies.” Don’t spend all the money you earn and you’ll be able to have the power to do what you want, when you want… including quitting a job that is bringing you down.

15. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 2:31PM UTC

    Why resign and lose income and benefits? Do your job well and leave it behind at the end of each day. I once almost resigned for righteous reasons when I realized I’m the only one going to suffer.

16. Michelle WilkinsonNovember 7,2023 at 1:28AM UTC

    Exactly. OP is only punishing herself, hoping that her boss will bend over backwards and fawn over her. Newsflash, 99% probability of this NOT happening. Unless you work fast food, 4 months is not enough time to be perfect at your job. I have a feeling that 10 years isn’t enough time either.

17. PaulaNovember 6,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

    I agree that walking away without another job is not a good solution. Instead what if you took a good long stretch of PTO and let the problem become apparent in your absence? That might shift things swiftly— your coworker might even step up! During PTO you could start your search for a new job.

18. Terrie McWhorterNovember 6,2023 at 3:21PM UTC

    First of all, if you are unhappy leave, BUT your leaving will only affect YOU. I hate to say it but everyone is replaceable and even a top performer can leave and not be missed. Second, unless you are a supervisor in this company the decision and the consequences rest solely on the supervisor. Third, if you are continually picking up the pieces, DOCUMENT what pieces you had to pick up. Show management what YOU are doing, not what the other employee is NOT doing. I like to refer back to Rosie from that famous You.tube video...worry 'bout yo'self....Believe me, I have had to take this approach a LOT because I am passionate about my job. But if it isn't your place to hire and fire, do you best and ignore the rest. Best of luck

19. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 3:26PM UTC

    I would just quit if you have the money saved up to coast for a year. Or, if you don’t, start cutting back on spending until you’ve saved enough to coast for a while. You’ve busted your butt for years, and you deserve a break for a little while. It sounds like you have plenty of good experience that will land you another job when you’re ready to rejoin the workforce. People are terrified of not having a job for a little while - it’s baffling to me. If you live below your means while employed for years, you can take a break and just enjoy your life for a little while without a full time job.

20. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 4:54PM UTC

    Please I implore you to NOT do this.

    you can't let this get on your nerves.

    Stay!

21. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 5:52PM UTC

    Why would you want to stay? The fact of the matter is if you cannot work with this person irrespective of the relationship being what it is why even think about a counter offer. I think you should just stay in your own lane, and let this person fail on their own. Stop cleaning up their messes and document the lies and cc others if need be. If you are not the boss then this peer needs to get help from the manager if they do their job poorly. Stop trying to fix and just do your own job and unplug at the end of the day. If your manager asks you to help this person then you will have to share details unemotionally about why you prefer not to. As for lack of appreciation, find another outlet for what you need there or sit your manager down and tell them what you do need in terms of acknowledgement. Unless they are clairvoyant how would they know how to make you happy? Rise above this mess and be the great you that you have consistently been. If you can't move on silently. The truth will come out when you are gone.

22. AnonymousNovember 6,2023 at 7:03PM UTC

    Is she supposed to know all you know in 4 months? Think of how long it took you and give some grace.

    I understand the perception is that the boss is too proud to let her go.

    She may be one of those "everything is fine" when it isn't.

    Above all, I've worked at my company for almost 7 years (2 as temp and 5 as perm). I will not let another person put me out of my job. I have worked too hard to get where I am and refuse to let another person take my place.

    Sounds like a one on one with your boss might help. Explain to them what you think needs to happen and maybe work on a timeline to get her at the same level of knowledge you are.

    Lastly, what if he says thank you for your service and accepts it? If you are cleaning up her messes, in his eyes, she is doing her job. This may be a surprise to him.

23. Rebecca A BrittNovember 6,2023 at 8:24PM UTC

    You sound a bit prideful rather than your boss.

    What is your end goal? Do you think that you are so integral to the company that your threat to quit will have your boss “see the light”?

    I’m a trainer and my first thought would be, “am I teaching this person what they need to know to do their job?”

    If you believe you are, then what are the gaps? In training it’s “hill” (processes and procedures are preventing them), skill (they don’t know how to do it), or will (they don’t want to).

    90% of the time it’s not will—unless they are being rewarded for not doing something (a call center isn’t polite to callers because they are rewarded for being fast, not nice).

    if you’re training this person, you set up milestones and they get measured on them and then receive feedback.

    Depending on the position, 4 months is NOT a long time to learn a new job. Most professional companies consider onboarding to be 4-6 months befor an employee is productive and a year until the are profitable.

    Lying is a concern but should be easily documented and shared with leadership. And again, why are they lying? Are they truly deceitful or trying to protect their job or afraid of being candid with you?

    Quitting without another job seems imprudent in this economy but you seem confident you’ll fine a new role and it won’t take you four months to learn the ropes.

24. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMENovember 6,2023 at 10:11PM UTC

    It sounds like emotions are running high and objectivity may be getting lost in the process.

    You mentioned that this new employee has lied to you. How IAre you suggesting that she is not trustworthy? Is she a liability and not an asset to the company? Do you and this new employee have different "core values," or "work ethics."

    Are you angry and hurt becasue you boss hired her and did not listen to your input? Before you resign -- think about what's at the core of your feelings. You may want to discuss your feelings with your boss, but be objective. Ten years is a long time!

25. Chere EstrinNovember 7,2023 at 1:50AM UTC

    Remind yourself that a job is not a marriage. At some point, you leave.

26. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 1:32PM UTC

    Remember, if you have already given feedback consistently about her work, then he obviously does not appreciate what you bring to the table. Why negotiate something that will never change?

27. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 2:45PM UTC

    The OP’s feedback apparently isn’t the decision-maker. The entitlement is misplaced. I hope there isn’t bias or envy in there. 10 years at this one company might be the only company the OP has worked for. They need to learn how to work & get along with others.

28. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 1:34PM UTC

    10 years? It's time to move on. Things have changed. You need to change too.

29. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 1:36PM UTC

    It sounds like you've already made up your mind to leave, so there's nothing to consider. If your boss asks you if there's anything he can do to change your mind, your answer should be no.

30. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 1:40PM UTC

    I think attributing pride as the reason why your manager has not let her go is really missing the mark. It takes time to learn the role, build your network, and make mistakes/receive feedback in order to learn the ropes and grow. I'm sure that your boss knows this.

    Based on this limited explanation, it really sounds like the one suffering a hit to the ego is you and I would recommend you use this as a learning opportunity for yourself also, especially if you aspire to any type of people leadership role.

    Also consider if you do decide to quit that you will be new after 10 years. You may think it will be easy to start a new role but I can assure you that you will also want someone's patience and guidance at some point.

    If you find this employee lying, ask yourself why - Do they intend to finish something but don't complete on time, etc. meaning they are trying to make themselves look better.

    And instead of cleaning up the mess - have you considered showing this person the right way to do it? How can someone learn if they aren't being given the tools.

31. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 2:02PM UTC

    If you, truly, leave, I think this @Fast Company article provides an excellent list of things you should do (and, btw, I hope you have secured another position, before taking this step?) https://www.fastcompany.com/90933006/things-should-do-before-leaving-job?

32. Dusti AveryNovember 7,2023 at 2:33PM UTC

    If its not about money then discuss what you need in order to stay. You need to be consulted on decisions and specific steps on how your boss can show appreciation toward you. Good effort. These are never easy conversations.

33. Laura L. Hadley BeasleyNovember 7,2023 at 2:56PM UTC

    think carefully because the job market is very different right now

34. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 3:33PM UTC

    You don’t want to leave, you want her gone. Your feelings are hurt because your boss hired her against your advice. You’ve probably never given her a fair shake.

    You have a fantasy scenario in your head that your boss will see the light, fire the new girl and all will be well. This post is looking for some help because in the back of your head there is a nasty niggling feeling that your resignation might be accepted and then what?

    Do yourself a favor and think and act like a mature professional person. This isn’t that. Good luck.

35. AnonymousNovember 8,2023 at 12:18AM UTC

    Scratching my head...how did five people miss that the OP said this new hire was lying on several occasions. That is acceptable to you? And you are lecturing her? Wow, just wow.

36. Rebecca A BrittNovember 8,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

    I'd like more details around the lying....is the employee saying "everything is fine" when she's struggling and that's a lie or is she saying, "yes I did X." when she didn't. And if she didn't "do X" was it totally NOT done or not done to the other person's expectations so "she lied that she did X."

    Also, if she's aware her boss doesn't like her or is suspicious of her, she might be lying to make it look like she knows what she's doing so the boss doesn't get mad.

    I totally get that lying isn't right, but without details, is it really lying?

37. Michelle WilkinsonNovember 8,2023 at 10:08PM UTC

    How about that she’s throwing a temper tantrum by threatening to quit but secretly hoping they beg her to stay? How’s she going to feel when they accept her resignation? She’s probably not a perfect and important as she’s made herself believe that she is

38. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    Time and again I hear employees who’s been with a firm say how they’re not appreciated. If you’ve been with a company for 10 years, you know the company in and out. Expecting someone else to come along and know what you know or more is unrealistic. Otherwise, that person would’ve been hired to replace you if they knew more. Patience is the key. Have you giving your all to train the new hire? I’m sure you haven’t because you rather see that person fired and their lively hood disrupted because of their lack of knowledge. We live in a society where people lack patience and look for others to fail immediately. People only want to glorify themselves. Have you shared how many mistakes you’ve made in 10 years with the company? Can you be honest about your shortcomings? Someone trained you and your love of self have you believing that you need someone to walk into your organization with full knowledge of how the company works internally. If you decide to leave just know that you have placed yourself back to square one and all eyes will be on you! Be careful what you ask for and know that the hole you dig for others you can find yourself in! Your manager may be reviewing you to see if your management material. Exemplify your leadership skills and train and help the new hire. Based on state laws and do your homework, you may be subjecting the new hire to a hostile work environment. Far too often this happens and that’s why employment attorneys exist. You don’t want to find yourself caught in that web. Be kind, show some compassion. So what if she’s lying. Train the new hire to succeed. Remember someone helped you! Success doesn’t equal to one person. It take a multitude of people to make a company run efficiently.

39. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 5:24PM UTC

    You make some good points. I wonder how she is coming to the new hire.

40. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 8:00PM UTC

    I think you missed the point.

41. AnonymousNovember 7,2023 at 4:11PM UTC

    This sounds similar to what my partner is going through with his work. Earlier posts are missing out on the point that the new hire is not being dependable, is underperforming and is lying to cover up their performance. The OP needs to report exactly what they are doing to clean up after their coworker, probably to the boss, hr and if there is a specific manager for that coworker. Document everything. How long is your new hire period? If it is only 3 months, then if you stay you will need to know that it'll be harder to have this person fired now. I think what needs to be considered is that things will otherwise go on as before with nothing changed. You are not being valued for your knowledge and experience so it may be time to go.

42. AnonymousNovember 8,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

    Leave if you want to leave. You're making this more complicated than it needs to be. Don't cover for the other employee. You are enabling the situation. You don't need to give a reason and you don't need to accept the counter- if you get one.

43. Regina BrownNovember 8,2023 at 5:46PM UTC

    Let them stew in their own "stupid sauce". When you write your resignation letter, everything that you have written here is what you should put in the letter. You DO have other options...let your boss know THAT part...

44. Kim PfeifferNovember 8,2023 at 6:54PM UTC

    Don’t do it unless you mean it

45. Mary PoolNovember 8,2023 at 9:22PM UTC

    The issue here isn’t that your boss hired someone you didn’t want; it is that you keep cleaning up the messes! You are making yourself unhappy! Have you documented the dishonesty? Have you documented the non-performance issues? If not, this is on you! Resign in a fit if you must, but why not use this as a learning opportunity to grow your management skills and teach yourself how to handle difficult situations. Those skills will serve you well in the future, and if it doesn’t work out, you were going to leave anyway. Stop paying mom, start playing co-worker or supervisor (whichever you are), and start handling the situation! Turn this into a growth opportunity.

46. RichNovember 9,2023 at 12:50AM UTC

    In our experience, you should never accept a counter-offer from your current employer.

    What we have seen happen is that accepting their offer brings things back into proportion, but only for a couple of months. As soon as they can, they will let you go and you won't have that other job offer to turn to.

    They do that because in their minds, you're being "disloyal." It's unfair, but in the last 11 years, I've never seen an exception to this.