Female Misogyny in the workplace

43 Comments

1. maria roseFebruary 8,2025 at 4:29PM UTC

   Whoever is doing the harassment doesn’t get a protective mask shield to hide behind. You should report any individual regardless of their excuse label. Use the job description of their title as a starting point for documentation of their abuse of their role, especially if they are in a supervisor position, which makes them by definition the role model of decorum. Nowhere in a supervisor job description does it say they can harass others. But you need to document your experience and actions not just your hurt feelings.

2. AnonymousFebruary 8,2025 at 6:03PM UTC

   It's happening across the board. Men have been doing it for years so everyone is just used to it. Now that women are getting into it just more noticeable. It's in the DNA or Culture in certain organizations and will continue to grow if not answered with consequences and swift changes.

3. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 1:45PM UTC

   Yes, but your comment shows the double standard. When men do it, it is accepted because it has been normalized. When women do it, they are called bitches, catty, "mean girls," and other derogatory terms used specifically for women. Have you ever been asked if you're "on the rag" or "PMSing?" Being hateful and spiteful is an equal opportunity affliction.

4. AnonymousFebruary 11,2025 at 11:11PM UTC

   No, she is pointing that men has been doing this, but she is not saying its ok. She is saying, what I understand, woman learned this from men and are replicating the same behavior against other women.

   This may be true, but interactions between groups of woman and men are different and motivation are different.

5. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 12:08AM UTC

   Please don't take this as sarcasm because it's not. I'm truly asking this question. . .are you joking? Is this a young company? I've held a job since the age of 9 and my first W2 at age 16. I'm 43. For context, I guess. At the age of 23, I had my first office job. I worked in an office by myself and the main office was 300 miles north of me. I was mostly in charge of a lot of male work crews. We had one lady on one of the crews and she was awesome. I was laid off from that position and ended up in the court system. That is where I learned about horrible back-stabbing, two-faced, female co-workers who are flat out liars. I unintentionally made myself a target because of my work ethic. It got so bad the judges and their assistants ended up having to come to my aid because of the blatant lies. This was the first time a job made me so sick I was hospitalized. I ended up having to quit for my health and entered aggressive counseling to help me maneuver through what had happened and what to do if these kinds of things happened again. I am a competitive person. I grew up that way. However, I don't pit myself against other women in how my makeup looks that day or what I'm wearing, blah, blah, blah. I don't even compete against anyone for work. I compete against myself. I care about if my work is better than the day before. I don't care what it looks like next to someone else. I never have. This weird competing against one another for attention of certain people in the office, competing for being liked the best, for baking the best cookies, etc is so far beyond my understanding. I am not a person that goes to work to make friends. I go to work, to work and complete goals, and get paid. . .if I'm lucky enough to come across one or two people to call a friend, fantastic. That is never my goal.

   Women are mean. They are catty. They will become sneaky little turds to sabotage one another. They will backstab. They will tattle. They will keep notes on everything you do or don't do. They might time how long you leave for the restroom. They will then follow you to the restroom. Then they will time how long you are in the restroom for, write it down, and keep a log. Women are so bizarre. Yes, I am a woman. I did not grow up like this. I want harmony in my work place. This stuff is stressful and I have no time for women who play games like this. I have now become the woman who will tell others to leave my cube or excuse myself in the middle of a conversation if it turns negatively or bad gossip starts. I'll also tell them gossiping in that manner is not okay. There are some good gossip stories. . .so and so had a beautiful baby!! Stuff like that.

6. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 7:20PM UTC

   When we do this, men are watching and learning.

7. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 1:16PM UTC

   It’s a thing, unfortunately

8. Ruth SathreFebruary 9,2025 at 1:20PM UTC

   I am a nurse. There's a statement in the field "Nurses eat their young." Bullying and gender on gender hostile behavior exists and accepted. However, a large percentage of new Nurses leave the field in the first 5 years. The industry is working to address the problem. But each individual needs to stop the process. I like your intervention on gossip. Just because a person survived Bullying, they don't have to bully others.

9. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 1:48PM UTC

   My problem with your question is that "female misogyny" is an oxymoron because misogyny comes from a place of privilege. Being hateful and spiteful is prevalent across the gender spectrum and not limited to one or the other. To answer your question correctly, hatefulness and spitefulness in the workplace have been there my entire career, which spans almost six decades. Suppose there is an uptick in females on females. In that case, it is likely because society has normalized misogyny (men using their privilege to degrade women), and more women in the workplace compete for their place at the table. All that said, there is no place where workplace violence (physical or verbal) should be tolerated, but I have also seen it encouraged, especially in high-pressure sales areas, and the bigger the stakes, the worse it is.

10. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 2:04PM UTC

    This reply devalues the OP and is a perfect example of the problem. It devalues the posters basic question by focusing on one word and reeks or superiority. We need to call out each other when an unnecessary takedown is part of fake coaching. We are better than this.

11. RobinFebruary 9,2025 at 2:37PM UTC

    I don’t agree. The poster answering the OP took the main argument and broke it down in order to validate what the OP was describing. YOUR post, on the other hand, having to be said anonymously does nothing for women learning to discuss and solve the issues they experience.

12. AnonymousFebruary 10,2025 at 8:59PM UTC

    And I take exception to your calling this "fake coaching," as it is my response that you are disparaging. Being nasty and back-biting is an equal opportunity affliction. Misogyny is reserved for the privileged gender (male in this country). Just like racism is reserved for the caucasian race, this was not to get into a war over semantics. It was to point out that there are character defects other than misogyny. Misogyny is "putting women in their place" and telling them that they are "less than" for being women. What the OP was describing is women attacking women and not (generally or even necessarily) men.

13. AnonymousFebruary 10,2025 at 3:03PM UTC

    No, you're wrong about the female misogyn, it's a correct term. and why always it had to relate to men when we are talking about problems between women?

    with all respect to your six decades, I think you got stucked in the 1990 ideas.

14. AnonymousFebruary 11,2025 at 3:03AM UTC

    She was talking about females abusing each other, not men. Misogyny is men degrading women for being women.

15. AnonymousFebruary 11,2025 at 10:48PM UTC

    Please read Michael Flood "international encyclopedia of men and masculinities".

    You're wrong, but its ok, we always can learn something new :)

16. AnonymousFebruary 13,2025 at 3:32PM UTC

    According to Webster's Dictionary, misogyny is: "hatred of, aversion to, or prejudice against women." Yes, we can all learn. I wasn't wrong. Prejudice against women implies they are being treated poorly for being women, nothing else.

17. AnonymousFebruary 23,2025 at 11:45AM UTC

    Interesting statement "you're wrong... we always can learn something new." Female Misogyny is alive and thriving. Turn on the news, it's everywhere. While I won't say you're wrong, I will say I appreciate your view.

18. GirlBossanova934974February 9,2025 at 2:33PM UTC

    I think you really need to get over the idea that women are a bunch of angels and men are evil incarnate. There are ALWAYS going to be bad apples on each side of the aisle. It is all about MANAGEMENT and the tone the leader sets. In my last role, we had a strong female leader. A leader who took responsibility for her actions and set an example. No excuses for anyone. Show up on time. No tolerance for whiners etc. No teacher's PETS! Compare that to the job before that. A vast collection of whiners. Absenteeism out of control. The group SLACK channel used for personal gripes. Endless back stabbing and behind your back shenanigans non scheduled ZOOM calls for gossip and gripe sessions. The leader? A weak knee-ed whiner with ZERO enthusiasm for what he was doing.

19. RobinFebruary 9,2025 at 2:35PM UTC

    You live in dream land. Women make $0.75 on the dollar of men in the same roles. This is worse than 1980 currently with the roll back of even celebrating women. Please read a newspaper.

20. AnonymousFebruary 10,2025 at 2:58PM UTC

    we are not talking about wages, we are talking about mean girls in the workplace. And yes, there's Female Misogynist everywere, but his is not the case.

21. AnonymousFebruary 23,2025 at 11:49AM UTC

    We are talking about Female Misogyny, not mean girls. And it has a lot to do with how women are paid and treated. Many studies show that women are paid less, work harder, and are more emotionally unwell today than years ago because of female misogyny.

22. Madeline M.February 9,2025 at 2:55PM UTC

    Starts with leadership. If they are behaving the same way they are setting the standard. If they are allowing it, not addressing the issues, it will continue and get worse. Unless that changes you’ll being a hostile environment and should look for another job.

23. AnonymousFebruary 11,2025 at 1:43PM UTC

    It starts with childhood. Who is the prettiest, who has the best toys, who has the best clothes/makeup/hair. Who is the most popular, who has the best boyfriend.

    And now with social media, it's 24/7 girls never get a break from the messaging that other women are competition they have to "Beat". Mean Girl Boss is just the outcome of a lifetime of training.

24. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 3:05PM UTC

    I have found that women can be their own worst enemies…

25. AnonymousFebruary 9,2025 at 4:58PM UTC

    It's professional jealousy and power play. Best way to get rid of it is to set expectations for how to get along, how to disagree, and how to collaborate. Don't let it persist and call it out when you see it. It's never okay to bully others.

26. Tami L CannizzaroFebruary 10,2025 at 4:28PM UTC

    Ahh. While I have no idea if women-treating-women badly is increasing, I do know that it's been around my entire career. In my experience, if I'm treated badly at work, the majority of the time it's by another woman. Which always makes me sad, but I've learned to deal with it. My career began in engineering, where I was the only female in a slew of men, and while they were interesting to work with, I found them to be easier since they tend to be straight-forward, whether they are nice, condescending, arrogant, whatever. At least I know what I'm dealing with and can address it immediately. Women, on the other hand, tend to be more under-the-radar: they smile, speak politely and lead you on to your face, providing a false sense of security and then Bam! You never see the arrows coming. Since I'm not a game player and prefer to speak openly and honestly, my style usually works better with men than women, many of whom are put off by my directness. That said - I've had great bosses and coworkers who are women. It's awesome when you find someone who leaves the drama out of the workplace and is focused on getting the job done.

27. AnonymousFebruary 10,2025 at 8:36PM UTC

    I logged in today to post a similar comment!! It is reassuring to know that I'm not the only once experiencing this. At the same time, sad that women are perpetuating bad behavior. My assigned female mentor is constantly stating why all others (men and women) are idiots, useless, sexist, etc. Not exaggerating, there is not a person that she looks up to at my company. I've gently pointed out that I don't benefit from how she manages situations, or how she "motivates". I find her behavior and attitude discouraging, confidence depleting, and confusing. My feedback was not received well.

28. AnonymousFebruary 10,2025 at 10:02PM UTC

    Ugh...this is your mentor? And can I assume that this is through your employer as you mention that she is assigned? I might explore seeking out a new mentor if I were you.

29. AnonymousFebruary 10,2025 at 11:13PM UTC

    It's running rampant with the younger generations. I'm a millennial and its huge with us (I hate it).

30. AnonymousFebruary 11,2025 at 1:41PM UTC

    Woman have been trained since childhood, through media and society, that other women are competition and that being the Mean girl is the only way one gets ahead. Why would they be any different as adults?

    In the US everyone has been given permission, hell we're told it's the way to be if you want to succeed, to be the very worst versions of themselves and they are indulging themselves well.

31. Kim RaperFebruary 11,2025 at 3:40PM UTC

    I have always been subjected to Mean Girls... I am a no nonsense type of person who mainly gets along with everyone but wow... successful women are a target for sure. A customer service dept years ago was the absolute worst environment. Catty does not even come close to describing how they all behaved... Whoever was not present was the target of the day... HOW on earth do you do that? Knowing its you when you are out sick or at an appt ??

32. AnonymousFebruary 11,2025 at 5:15PM UTC

    I've not seen it where I am now.

    Also, is it appropriate to call this misogyny?

    I'm curious what other changes have occurred where you are that may have possibly contributed to this uptick? Are these new employees? Has there a new underlying culture of fear (maybe changes at the top that have caused a bit of a trickledown effect)? What sort of an organization are you employed by (what industry, what setting)?

33. Cynthia Armistead NewmanFebruary 13,2025 at 7:34PM UTC

    Yes, it's appropriate to call it misogyny. Internalized misogyny is pretty common.

34. AnonymousFebruary 23,2025 at 11:31AM UTC

    The Presidential change caused it.

35. AnonymousFebruary 24,2025 at 12:23PM UTC

    Ahh, yes, that. And that's unfortunate. That man has created so much stress, uncertainty and a giant divide in this nation.

36. AnonymousFebruary 13,2025 at 4:53PM UTC

    You need some serious leadership

37. AnonymousFebruary 14,2025 at 5:30AM UTC

    Yes - my manager (woman) started to sabotage me and block me from showing my work after the customer loved my inputs and work in a big offsite meeting.

38. AnonymousFebruary 14,2025 at 1:30PM UTC

    No but I'm dealing with misandry. We have a Black woman as our CHRO and she ONLY PROMOTES blck women even if unqualified. Men are either boxed or fired if they are too strong. Most of society don't talk about that

39. AnonymousFebruary 23,2025 at 11:28AM UTC

    You should leave the organization.

40. LisaFebruary 14,2025 at 1:36PM UTC

    I don't feel like it's anything new. If it is permitted, it will perpetuate.

41. Titra HamiltonFebruary 14,2025 at 8:45PM UTC

    Sadly, it has been my experience that women have always been meaner in the workplace than men. For example, it was a woman who tried to prevent my promotion via back channels (She did not realize that I had access to a back channel, too). It was women who threatened me with termination, questioned my loyalty when I needed to leave to pick up my kids from daycare, questioned by ethnicity, tried to take credit for my work, got angry when a man showed me some interest, etc. If she has no credibility in the organization, then build a rapport with people who can speak up for you when you are not in the room. Definitely document outcomes and value delivered. Keep copies of your work and "kudos". "Keep your head on swivel", keep your ears and eyes open, and keep your resume updated so that you can make a graceful exit, if necessary. Good luck.

42. Zenzelai 18February 17,2025 at 1:49PM UTC

    Yes, I don't wear flashy make up for religious reasons and was bullied by a group of women that sported a lifestyle of wigs, weaves, and luxury the salary never justified.

    Eventually they were fired one by one after the team as a whole began to speak up about their bullying.

43. AnonymousFebruary 23,2025 at 11:25AM UTC

    Sorry you went through that.