I’m nervous about telling my employer that I’m pregnant.

7 Comments

1. Cyndi RosenblattDecember 4,2022 at 4:35PM UTC

   Realistically, how long will it take to prepare for a handover of responsibilities? Given the reception you're expecting, I would delay letting them know as long as possible. You can wear looser clothing for a while before it becomes obvious, especially if this is your first pregnancy. You don't need extra stress, and they can't stress you about it if they don't even know.

   As far as looking for another position, does the company have at least 50 employees? Because FMLA isn't mandatory unless they do. If they don't have a solid FMLA policy, you're probably not losing much by looking for another position where they might be more supportive.

2. Barbara SoninDecember 4,2022 at 9:40PM UTC

   I agree with Ms. Rosenblatt. Unless it's unavoidable (e.g., you have severe morning sickness), don't tell them until you begin to show. With a first pregnancy, if you switch to looser clothes you might get to 4-5 months before the pregnancy is obvious. Loyalty and understanding have to go both ways. If you're expecting a bad reaction, why bend over backwards to give them extra notice?

3. Shelly EdwardsDecember 5,2022 at 3:11PM UTC

   Tell them only when you are ready. You are not under any legal obligation to report a medical condition (pregnancy included) until you are ready or until you need to disuss FMLA if that's an option. I don't care if you have suddenly gained 60 lbs of baby weight, you still don't have to tell them and they can't really legally ask. Make sure you research pregnancy leave rights in your state before telling them so you are ready for whatever response they give you. Know your rights ahead of time. Then when you ready to disclose the information, have a plan in place for them, such as if you will return after the baby is born, how long of a leave you'd like to take, etc. That tends to help soften the news if they don't take it well. Then just be happy about your announcement and hopefully they will be too.

4. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachDecember 5,2022 at 10:54PM UTC

   Tell them with excitement. Share your due date and how long you plan working up until. That's really all you have to do. Let their thoughts and feelings about it be their own and if they cross legal/company policy, directly speak with HR.

5. AnonymousDecember 6,2022 at 3:29PM UTC

   I’m currently about 16 weeks pregnant with my second and haven’t told management. Unfortunately, for me, working in a male dominated field it has never appeared to me helpful to tell my manager and the team because I had seen how it influenced work opportunities with others and how it impacted me when I became a parent with my first. However, this is only one view point, your experience will be unique to you.

   I agree with wearing loose clothes and waiting to tell when you’re ready.

   I searched YouTube videos and there were some good examples about how to hide a bump. I like using scarfs to distract attention and I carry with me notebook so it is not so obvious. I also try to schedule conference rooms to eat several small meals through the day and to have time to relax with all of the pregnancy symptoms. Hope this helps! Good luck and congrats!!!

6. Joann S. LublinDecember 6,2022 at 6:00PM UTC

   I totally endorse recommendations from other commentators. But I also would make detailed plans for how you want your job duties handled during your leave -- in advance of informing management about your pregnancy;y. That plan should include whether you're willing to be contacted while away and if so, for what type of work emergency.

   In addition, I strongly encourage you to read my latest book about working women. It's called "Power Moms: How Executive Mothers Navigate Work and Life." I interviewed 86 women from two generations (boomers vs. millenials/GenXers) and many offered key lessons about coping with situations like yours. Good luck and let us know how things go!

7. AnonymousDecember 10,2022 at 3:18PM UTC

   Do you have paid company medical or maternity leave? If so, find the policy on whom you have to inform and when. For maternity leave, my last company had a requirement to notify several months in advance. Getting the leave approved was a process. Do you have an HR rep or benefits rep who can answer questions? Could your EAP line help? My advice is to stay where you are until after your leave and you figure out how your life will transition after the baby is born. COBRA is expensive, and so are babies. Once you determine how working with a child is then you can figure out your next move with confidence.