I unexpectedly lost my job in a departmental restructure at 5 months pregnant.

Anonymous

March 30,2022 at 3:27PM UTC

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I unexpectedly lost my job at 5 months pregnant from a departmental restructure. I am the sole breadwinner of my household, with a 2.5 year old as well, so this is definitely difficult timing. I have been actively searching for opportunities, have put in 20 applications over the past 2 months, and have had interviews for 4 positions, some of which are still in play. Now I am seven months pregnant, and so it feels more and more unlikely that I will be able to get through a hiring process and start a new position before the birth. (I'm in the US, mid-level career, in the international humanitarian/development field.)

I am writing for advice on how people would handle moving forward at this point:

-Does anyone have experience of being hired in late stages of pregnancy, starting a job and then going on parental leave? I would like to take 3 months. I am starting to assume that I might have to set a start date for after parental leave, which means sacrificing more months of working and income. This feels like a lot, and hard and sad to lose that. So I could use motivational stories and advice.

-How did you navigate those conversations about pregnancy and leave--during interviews (if so, which one--typically 3 in my field)? after an offer is on the table? after starting a position?

All but one of my female friends, colleagues and other professional connections have recommended not disclosing the pregnancy during the interview process, based on the research that even for well-meaning employers, bias continues to exit. But not disclosing feels more challenging the later it goes. I have always felt I would want to have an offer on the table and then disclose and negotiate leave, in an understanding way towards the employer, so that if leave wasn't possible, I could walk away and they could hire their second choice. Then it would be clear that I was selected (or not) based on my merits rather than pregnancy or another family situation. The only female colleague, my former manager with whom I had an excellent relationship, who has recommended disclosing, says that it's always better to be honest and transparent. I did not disclose to her that I had a 4 month old when offered the position with her (which required frequent travel), and she was very annoyed about that and feels that it causes an employer to wonder what else an employee may be hiding. However, she also admitted later that she probably would not have hired me in the role had she known, and that she is so glad she did because I was an excellent fit and it worked out well. So that to me proves the point of not disclosing.

Anyway, thank you for any advice and encouragement as I continue navigating this.

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AnonymousMarch 31,2022 at 2:21PM UTC
This is actually how Fairygodboss was started — our CEO was unexpectedly left without a job while pregnant. Here's her story: https://fairygodboss.com/articles/getting-fired-while-pregnant-inspired-this-ceo-to-revolutionize-the-way-women-find-jobs
Here's an article that also might be helpful. It discusses questions to ask, benefits and for job searching with pregnant. https://fairygodboss.com/articles/applying-for-jobs-while-pregnant
Echo SchneiderApril 1,2022 at 6:30PM UTC
While in the US it's not illegal for them to ask about it, the EEOC discourages employers from doing it so that they don't discriminate in their hiring practices.
ILHAM ALAMApril 1,2022 at 11:41PM UTC
I would recommend being transparent and perhaps looking for companies that are founded by women and/or have women, who are also mothers, in a hiring capacity. They may be more understanding.
And as another poster suggested, remote jobs or flex jobs could be an option. Are you even able to work as a contractor or a consultant or a freelancer, during this time? That may allow you to do a short term project, you give birth, take 3 months leave and then job search?
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:29PM UTC
Thank you.
Yes I have been targeting contract short term jobs to do before the birth while also having conversations with longer term positions that could be lined up for after. Nothing has panned out yet, but still looking. It's hard though as the hiring process even for contract positions can take a while, and some that lined up perfectly with my birth timeline, are still in the hiring process over a month later, so the window is closing.
And I have been working remotely and will continue to target mostly remote positions.
Amy GeffenApril 2,2022 at 1:00PM UTC
No need to disclose unless you are obviously showing. You are less likely to be hired if they know you want three months off soon after you start. I agree with those who suggested try working for a women owned business, a non-profit that is more women friendly, or a telecommuting role.
AnonymousApril 2,2022 at 1:18PM UTC
I read a story about a woman who joined Deloitte 6 months pregnant and took leave after. I think it depends more on the level of empathy and understanding at the hiring manager level.
If you want to email me with more specifics as to what you’re looking for, I’m happy to try to help! Karen.eisengruber@fairygodboss.com
AnonymousApril 2,2022 at 3:22PM UTC
Agreed, it depends on the empathy of the hiring manager and the company.
A friend of mine got a new people-manager role at Microsoft when she was 7 months pregnant, and the team has been enthusiastically supportive of her going on 3-5 months of parental leave.
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:30PM UTC
This is so encouraging to hear! Thank you! Do you know any details about how she handled those conversations?
AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 7:12PM UTC
I don't know any specifics about her conversations with the hiring manager (and she just gave birth so likely isn't interested in telling me about that right now ;))
I do know that Microsoft hires for the long term and for the good of the individual AND the company, and family is very very important to leadership. So I wasn't surprised at all to see her get hired while far along in her pregnancy.
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:31PM UTC
Hi Karen. Thank you so very much for this generous offer. I will email you.
Abegail JApril 2,2022 at 2:05PM UTC
As an expectant Mum this is the last thing you need to be worried about especially as the family's only source of income. I encourage you to think positively to balance your levels to have a happy baby. As you're clearly able to work, any sensible employer would rather you put your cards on the table, on your part it reflects honesty. I wish I could say that we aren't still living in times where pregnancy is viewed with such abhorrence by some employers when it's such a normal thing. Having experienced exactly what you're going through I know how it feels, in my case I hid my pregnancy until I couldn't anymore and had to leave the job as I was on zero hour contract. If I had disclosed my contract would have ended.
You will get through this as many of us has in the past. Keep applying the right position will open or your entrepreneurial side might emerge and change your whole landscape.
Stay fearless!
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:32PM UTC
Thank you for your encouragement.
Rebecca Gale-GonzalezApril 2,2022 at 2:06PM UTC
You should not by law have to disclose any family details. As long as you can fulfill the duties of the role...it's irrelevant. And you likely were let go because of it during the restructuring and that is a problem. There are many options to accommodate both the employee and employer with a remote work schedule. This just points out the still deep inequities in the workforce that favor men over women. You have legal options. Best wishes.
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:34PM UTC
I have no idea whether it was tied to the pregnancy because I had not disclosed it to the person who made the decision (not my boss). I did speak to quite a few lawyers, but it sounds like you only have a legal course of action if you can prove it was done because of pregnancy, and I don't have that evidence.
AnonymousApril 2,2022 at 3:00PM UTC
Check out The Mom project online. They post open roles across industries with fair parental leave as well as other resources tailored for working moms
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:35PM UTC
Thank you, I will!
Michelle S.April 2,2022 at 3:33PM UTC
I love all of these suggestions and at the very worst, can you apply for unemployment? I was actually laid off when I was five months pregnant with twins. And I went to three or four interviews per week trying to find a new job and it was such a blessing that, for the only time in my life, I was able to get unemployment. I looked constantly for a job but, 16 years ago, people were not shy about saying they wouldn’t hire me while I was pregnant. I was able to stay at home with my twin daughters until they were two months old- when I was finally hired again. ??‍♀️ In the meantime, you just use it as a back up to keep everybody fed while you’re looking. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. Best of luck to you! (And I know it sounds weird, but try to manifest what you want. Positive thinking is a superpower!)
AnonymousApril 2,2022 at 4:04PM UTC
Amazing advice to her.
I couldn’t agree more. I was also laid off at 5 mos. pregnant and my fellow coworkers told me that was the reason. Try to enjoy your pregnancy and seek assistance with resources you can get for the time being. They asked for me to come back after I had my baby. I said heck no!!
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 3:52PM UTC
You can only apply for unemployment if you are eligible to go to work right away and have to be actively searching and reporting a minimum of three applications per week. This is in Washington State. A coworker of mine could not apply for unemployment, even though we work seasonal positions, as she was going to have knee replacement surgery the month after layoff. She had no income for the two months she was off.
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:39PM UTC
Thank you, yes unemployment finally came through three weeks ago, after a runaround with denied claims, and that is indeed helpful, covering my rent.
I dread not having something lined up before the birth though, because it is really hard to turn in the 3 job applications/week and continuing the interviewing process the week you give birth and after, especially balancing breastfeeding challenges, postpartum health issues, etc! I had to do that with my first, and while I'm proud of how hard I fought (applying for the job I landed when she was 1 week old, 1st interview when she was 3 weeks old, in person interview at 6 weeks old), it was really really difficult doing and I don't want to have to do it again. Was that your situation with your twins? Did you continue the applications in the early weeks after the birth in order to keep receiving unemployment?
AnonymousApril 2,2022 at 4:02PM UTC
We had a women start in our group IT that was 7 months pregnant, she did not say anything on the interview and it is illegal to ask such questions. She signed the offer letter, and told us after she started. I don’t think there is an easy way to say it so you should do it after the offer letter. My only concern would be FMLA protection, usually you must be with a job for 12 months before your job is protected when you go on leave, depending on other state laws. The woman at my job is only taking 6 weeks because she’s afraid they will terminate her. But again I think a lot of this will depend on the hiring management and the job/projects on hand. I also had another situation when a man we hired hurt his back first week on the job and took 8 weeks off and he did not feel sorry or apologetic.
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:45PM UTC
Thank you for sharing this experience! It's true, that I wouldn't be eligible for FMLA without the 12 month tenure, but possibly other options depending on the organization. I think this is why I would want to be open and transparent after receiving an offer letter, but BEFORE I accepted and started a position, saying "look, this is the situation, how would you feel about leave, I can understand it could be difficult." And then if the employer was open to it I could accept and move forward, and if it wasn't feasible, I could not accept and they would be free to go with another choice.
In the woman in your group, how was that received that she signed before disclosing? Do you know what those conversations were like, either with her, or with the team?
AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 11:00PM UTC
The reactions were mixed behind the scenes but the company is also going through a major transformation which includes initiatives to protect D&I things which includes women and pregnancies. The hiring manager, a woman and mom, obviously valued her skills so they were willing to give her the 6 weeks and she could of gotten more actually but she didn’t ask. Everything depends on management, company culture etc. I am sure it is not easy to disclose this during an interview because you don’t know what the reaction would be. In my former department, mostly ran by men, I think they would let go of her or not hire her if she disclosed. If this was me, I would of not said anything until I signed that offer letter, you have to be selfish sometimes and think of you, but it depends on your industry really and how you can sense the people.
AnonymousApril 2,2022 at 4:58PM UTC
First, regarding your family's health care: if your former employer did not leave you with a severance package that includes health insurance, please make inroads right away toward a viable health care backup plan for your maternal medical needs and your newborn's. COBRA insurance premiums can devastate your finances very quickly. If you're the only breadwinner in the household and you're now without an income, you may qualify for insurance under the Affordable Care Act and it's never too early to look into that so you have a solid plan B just in case.
In terms of disclosing pregnancies or not, it appears that we are now in an age where the disclosure isn't really up to the individual any longer. The info is out there, in spite of HIPAA and other privacy laws (article link below.) We all have to be careful about voluntarily and unwittingly providing our private data to our social media accounts and those "free" employer-sponsored wellness programs that are actually doing data mining without our knowledge.
It's suspicious that you were laid off while pregnant due to "restructuring" and such a shame that we have to rely on our employers for both income and health care. Employers are no longer willing to foot the bill for both. Health insurance benefits costs are eating into their profits so they are finding ways to work around discrimination laws by hiring subcontractors who get the private data. Pregnant women, jobseekers over 50, and those with disabilities and pre-existing conditions may as well go into job interviews with a big $ sign on their foreheads. Imagine how much easier it would be for you to get another job if your pregnancy didn't affect the new employer's bottom line. What if the employer's only interest was in your ability to perform in your role, and not the potential cost of your medical care and the size of your family? Sigh. Maybe someday...
In the meantime, wishing you great happiness on your maternal journey and a fantastic new job with an amazing employer!
Here's an article:
"A growing number of businesses have contracted with insurers or other independent firms to keep an eye on trends in employee claims for evidence of medical conditions or diseases, such as diabetes, heart conditions or pregnancy. " https://money.cnn.com/2014/02/12/news/economy/employer-health/index.html
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:51PM UTC
Luckily we did qualify for Medicaid because of the pregnancy, so we are covered there and that is indeed a Godsend! Phew.
Yes the whole circumstances around the restructuring were very strange. My position was the only one eliminated. But I think it was due to other factors related to another individual wanting to move into a similar role and clear the path. But who knows. Maybe more concrete information will emerge someday or maybe it will always be a mystery.
That is terrifying that businesses are doing what you shared in the linked article. Wow. I had no idea.
Thank you for the good wishes.
GirlBossanova638127April 2,2022 at 5:05PM UTC
I lost my job at 3 months pregnant as the sole breadwinner and fortunately got hired at 6 months.
I had to be on unemployment for those couple of months, but also qualified for Medicaid. That was a life saver. The only thing about leave was that I barely qualified for short term disability since I had to be employed for 3 months and my baby was a few days past my due date. I was only alotted 5 weeks, but it was definitely better than the two weeks we initially thought I would only be alotted. The key was that I was upfront about my pregnancy, and while several companies rejected me, two sent me offers, and I accepted with my current company. The transition back post partum was actually significantly easier than I anticipated.
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 7:54PM UTC
That is really encouraging that you received offers when being upfront. How did you share during the interview process? At what stage? How did you phrase it? Were there discussions, and what were they like?
So glad to hear the transition back was easier than anticipated for you.
Suzanna LouisaApril 2,2022 at 8:41PM UTC
When I was seven months pregnant with my first child some people could hardly even tell depending on what I was wearing. A lot of women can hide their baby bump. I say wait until you start working and it can’t be hidden anymore. If you can work from home part time tell them you’ll do that. Good luck!
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 9:07PM UTC
This doesn't even make sense when she says in the post she wants to take 3 months off after giving birth.. so how can you hire and than magically say 'oh crap I've just given birth, be back in 3 months' ?? Even starting a full-time role and then in 2 months going to 'I'll be working part-time' with no warning is bad form.
Mara Jevera FulmerApril 2,2022 at 9:12PM UTC
I was/am also the main breadwinner in my household. Always have been.
I had hoped things had gotten better in the 35 yrs since my daughter was born. I had been at a job for three years and was finally thinking it was stable enough to start a family. Just before Christmas I asked my boss what their maternity leave policy was and he just said "same as the state (NY)" since his wife worked for the state. A week or two into the new year (1986), I learn I was pregnant. But then I also learned within a day or so, that the boss was now "restructuring" the department and was giving a few of us three months notice. During that time I was supposed to "train" my replacement. I told him his timing was poor due to the confirmed pregnancy. These were the early days of trying to make things "right". So he figured out a way to keep me paid by hiring me back as a contractor for a couple days/week and I'd get unemployment the other two days we were allowed (NYS agreed to this deal). I dutifully applied for jobs and even had some interviews. Those days it was all in person. I remember a second interview I got 2 days AFTER my due date (baby was hanging around longer than I'd hoped). The guy on the other side of the table was so nervous his hand was shaking when he reached out to shake my hand while asking "is your husband nearby?" Told him "I got this... hospital's just up the road!" I still laugh about this today.
The hard part was health insurance. We did COBRA at the time. It was a stretch doing the math on what the break-even point would be but being a first-time mom I didn't want to risk not being covered.
I kept doing freelance work that was enough to cover the bills, and kept applying for jobs.
In the end, I got a fantastic job that launched my career in a new and more satisfying direction. And my new boss was very accommodating when it came to work flexibility with baby .
You never know how things are going to work out. But like someone else implied - manifesting what you want sure doesn't hurt!
AnonymousApril 3,2022 at 9:03PM UTC
Disclose. Disclose. Disclose.
You should never hide from you new potential company, it doesn't end well.
As a hiring manager, I just had an interviewer share she was looking at taking leave this coming April, for her pregnancy, and that is when we were looking at launching a new product, so that ruled out that candidate even though she was overly qualified, she has to understand the needs of the company, etc. Having not shared until you're offered the role would have wasted all of your times. Don't waste peoples time. It doesn't end your relationship well. Who knows what will come up in a few months, but if you end it wrong I won't be contacting you for wasting my time.
Heather BinghamApril 3,2022 at 10:21PM UTC
Absolutely disclose. You may feel that you need to be brave to do so, but it is the right thing to do and you both need to start on the right foot - you and the organisation. If we hired someone who then popped off a couple of months later, I don't think the relationship would ever recover.
The great news is that I have worked in organisations where we have successfully recruited people in your position. It has, genuinely, always worked out well. Some organisations won't be able to consider you, because they need to hire someone who can start as soon as possible, and that is fair enough. However, the more far-sighted and organised will still look at you fairly - they might give someone else a position to start now, but if they like you and are growing they will offer you the next opening, with a firm start date as well. I suggest it is a good idea to look for organisations that are in a growth phase, because they can predict if they will need someone in a few months' time.
Jennifer RadosevichApril 4,2022 at 2:39PM UTC
In a past company, I hired a woman who was 6 months pregnant knowing that she would need to go out on leave shortly after starting. She was the right person for the job and I didn't think twice about having her go on leave. I needed the right person in the role. Period.
AnonymousApril 4,2022 at 5:42PM UTC
Are you able to find a temporary WFH position to bring in income until after the baby is born and you are ready to get back to a long term position? You're in a tough situation. Hoping for a happy outcome.
AnonymousApril 13,2022 at 6:01AM UTC
Pregnancy discrimination and harassment is one of the most common forms of employment discrimination in the US. Its so profoundly imbedded into employ,et culture that many countries are now experiecing a decline in replacement birth rate. One of the most commonly cited reasons for women delaying or not planning to have children is career ambition and not wanting to live in poverty with a child. At least several countries are offering incentives for having children but all except for one area, it's not working. So we can advocate for women but the truth is women often choose between family or work, a decision men dont often need to make.