What would you do?

Anonymous

July 10,2022 at 4:48PM UTC

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What would you do?

Roughly two years ago, during my annual review, my boss told me that if I ever needed him as a reference, he would be happy to provide a glowing one for me. At the time, my boss had very recently transitioned into the lead executive role, and the person who had held it prior to him hadn't had the best things to say about me or my work because he was sexist. It wasn't a secret that this other person hadn't always spoken well about me (or frankly to me), and it was very satisfying to hear my boss say the quiet part out loud in this instance.

Things have been mostly good since then (although nothing is ever perfect), and I'm looking to move on to my next adventure. I'm just ready. I've been toying with the idea of being upfront with my boss to allow enough time for them to find someone suitable to replace me and also to take him up on his offer to provide a glowing reference.

When I left my previous employer to come take my current one, I had been very fortunate to be able to be open enough with my boss to let them know that I was looking, and because my previous boss had considerably more career experience than I did, he graciously shared advice about where he thought would be the best step for my career when I received multiple offers. While I honestly don't think that my current boss could provide the same level of career coaching (and that's not a dig, it's just the way it is), I would like to get the reference as I job hunt.

What are your thoughts? Do I say something now? Do I wait until I have a request for references?

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AnonymousJuly 10,2022 at 7:30PM UTC
Do you have any interest in staying with your company in either a growth opportunity aligned to your current job or perhaps in another complimentary role? If so, then an open conversation about what's missing might put you on a new path internally. If not, then I think you'd have to judge not only his reaction but also everyone else's around you (co-workers, HR etc.) before you say anything. Alternatively, you could ask for something to add to your LI profile now and that way it would be readily viewable for any recruiter looking at your info. Bottom line - read the room before you make a move. Good luck!
Vanda LeeJuly 10,2022 at 8:04PM UTC
I would wait until you have a possible opportunity or offer..that requests references. There's no need to alert anyone at your current organization of your plans. Often times that shifts the dynamic of how you're treated. Not sure what field you work in but my field very seldom requests references & when they do, I have a list that includes former teammates & industry peers that can speak to my excellent qualities.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 10,2022 at 8:15PM UTC
Personally, I would never tell my boss. For me, the first time anyone at my company knows I'm looking to make a change is when I turn in my notice.
Not all companies check references these days. And what if you use your current boss as a reference and the offer falls through? It happens. There's a good chance that as soon as you let your current employer know you're looking, it will change how you're treated. Not assigned to the best projects, treated as a short timer even though a job search can take many months, sometimes longer.
When I did check references regularly (and it's been a while), I never expected the candidate to give me their current boss - for the reasons noted above. It sounds like you have a good relationship with your previous boss, I suggest you tap them if references are requested.
AnonymousJuly 10,2022 at 10:47PM UTC
Use your current boss as a reference? This is a very difficult question to answer, as bosses sometimes offer to provide references and then renege or take umbrage that you are seeking alternate employment.
Unless it is absolutely vital, I’d discourage you from using your current boss as a reference. Are there any current or former co-workers from this job who could fulfill this role? Or can you rely on references from other roles?
If you must use your boss as a reference, I would not bring the subject up until you have been asked for references.
CStiggerJuly 11,2022 at 12:02AM UTC
I would not recommend it. In my experience, I left a job at almost the one year mark because it was a toxic non profit with catty women. Despite the environment, I made sure to excel in my role.
I accepted a role and provided two weeks notice, provided sufficient documentation to handoff for my replacement.
as part of my new employer’s background check they required my previous supervisor as a reference
( fyi if your an HR leader, never require incoming employees to this)
anyways my former manager at the non profit talked bad about me despite all I did to leave on positive terms. Plus I had a positive performance review at the 6 month marker and ongoing positive reviews.
I am not disappointed because I’ve learned people will smile in your face and talk behind your back. Lucky for me my incoming supervisor was able to use discernment and still want my expertise.
in short, do not give your current employer advance notification. Provide your two weeks notice and this will be fine.
best if luck in your career search.
Kristie WhiteJuly 11,2022 at 4:21AM UTC
I don't recommend it. It sounds like your current boss made that comment right after his recent promotion. He was schmoozing you at the time, nervous and excited about his new promotion and he wanted everyone to like him and say great things about him. Fast forward 2 years and he has settled in. He has forgotten all about this off-handed comment and may or may not be a reliable reference. Your transition is too new and fluid right now. Wait until you have more leverage - like a new position offer -before you ask for that reference. Then - once you ask - you might be able to tell if you can use him as a reference or you need to avoid him.
AnonymousJuly 11,2022 at 8:26AM UTC
It's probably best to wait until you have a job offer on the table from a potential employer and they request references. Then I would bring it up again to your current boss about his offering to provide you with a glowing reference. Get a sense of where his head is and if he is still a good option. Good luck as you move on to your next adventure!!
Jacquelynn LucasJuly 11,2022 at 1:41PM UTC
I would wait until you have the request. A job search could take quite a while to find the best next fit and it could make your working environment a bit awkward.
AnonymousJuly 11,2022 at 2:42PM UTC
Hit him up when you need a reference. No need to tip your hand.
Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachJuly 13,2022 at 4:36AM UTC
Agree with this!