The management team at my company is super verbally and emotionally abusive.

38 Comments

1. Margrit PatelNovember 3,2022 at 1:29PM UTC

   I think there are places where you can report your employer, but I believe it varies state by state. Where are you located?

2. Hannah StepnerNovember 3,2022 at 1:34PM UTC

   I'm in Colorado

3. AnonymousNovember 3,2022 at 1:37PM UTC

   I would report them to your state labor board and get out asap. No job is worth that abuse. Can you do contract work until you find something permanent? You would still be getting income while looking. Document everything at least for your purposes. Unfortunately, HR mostly sides with the company, so I would not count on them. Good luck and please provide any updates if you feel comfortable doing so.

4. Hannah StepnerNovember 3,2022 at 2:06PM UTC

   We don't have an hr, so that wouldn't have been an option anyway. I think I'm going to spend sometime looking at options until I can find something else. No one deserves this kind of treatment.

5. AnonymousNovember 3,2022 at 2:25PM UTC

   agree with documenting it all!

6. Lyndsay FieldsNovember 3,2022 at 3:19PM UTC

   https://www.nlrb.gov/about-nlrb/who-we-are/regional-offices/region-27-denver#:~:text=Please%20visit%20us%20or%20call,.Officer%40nlrb.gov%20.

7. Lyndsay FieldsNovember 3,2022 at 3:20PM UTC

   https://cdle.colorado.gov/filing-a-complaint

8. Lyndsay FieldsNovember 3,2022 at 3:21PM UTC

   Also Hannah, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you find a better organization, one that respects your talents.

9. AnonymousNovember 3,2022 at 3:37PM UTC

   Stress is not illegal and so if they have nit broken the laws both federal and your state there is little you can do but leave.

   Just keep a journal of events you find questionable. If they act illegally and dangerously you can speak with the labor board in your area.

10. AnonymousNovember 4,2022 at 12:13PM UTC

    I co-sign this - document everything!

11. Julie HumbirdNovember 3,2022 at 3:46PM UTC

    Sounds like a 'hostile work environment'. You can report to the state labor board or EEOC.gov. You can also report this on behalf of others and not just yourself.

12. AnonymousNovember 3,2022 at 5:03PM UTC

    I worked at a toxic place once. We had a suicide. We had a case where presumably a coworker scrawled something on the bathroom wall. This is a professional, blue chip company that touted its mission and values. There is nothing you can do but leave. After I left, I worried about my coworkers and a specific potential for violence in the workplace, but I couldn’t stay in that environment. I was very relieved to go to a normal, healthy workplace, where I could heal from that experience. Good luck to you!

13. RenataNovember 4,2022 at 1:04PM UTC

    Not sure how things work in your neck of the woods but in my country verbal and emotional abuse are both criminal offenses and an individual can be charged criminally for this behaviour.

    If this is not an option for you, there should be some statutory labour body that you can access to report them to. Failing which get our of other sooner rather than later.

14. Moe HawkNovember 5,2022 at 1:17PM UTC

    Renata, if that person is in Texas resources are slim. If union protection doesn’t exist the state does provide any. Document the activity and file a tort claim/lawsuit based on their treatment towards you. Most Afro Americans file claims based on race which is almost impossible for them to prove because of the racist playbook that has a high burden of proof and Clarence Thomas running interference. Instead file a tort claim. I’m not a lawyer, just someone with experienced with Texas, racism in corporate America and a victim of Clarence Thomas.

15. Moe HawkNovember 5,2022 at 1:18PM UTC

    Self reply to correct.....the state doesn’t provide any employment protection whatsoever.

16. KarenNovember 4,2022 at 1:27PM UTC

    To echo another comment, keep a daily log of what is being said and done that is abusive. Read it on the weekend and ask yourself what you would tell your daughter, son, or Mom if they were in that situation. Would you tell them to stick it out or run for the woods? It can be scary to just leave without a job waiting for you, but your overall health is worth more than your paycheck. Things to consider.

    As for warning others, you can post company reviews on Glassdoor and Indeed.

17. Queens SpeakNovember 5,2022 at 12:24PM UTC

    You should leave an environment like that. It’s not worth your mental health. Hopefully you have saved for a rainy day because it sounds like it a downpour.

18. Cate McCarthyNovember 5,2022 at 12:34PM UTC

    Workplace Bullying Institute and they have an app called Safe Harbor. At least there you can get some support for yourself as you navigate out.

19. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 12:59PM UTC

    It sounds truly toxic! You sound like a caring person. Don’t spend too much of your energy worrying about someone else. Right now your mission is to get the heck out of there. It could be worth your time to call the EEOC and see if their behavior could be legally considered toxic and harassment. The state department of labor also also could be a good resource.

20. Shelby CNovember 5,2022 at 1:12PM UTC

    I'm sorry you're experiencing this and thank you for helping warn and protect others. You should notify and/or post on the following:

    - EEOC

    - DOL

    - Glassdoor

    - Indeed

    - Fairygodboss

    - And, other site where you can post anonymously, but do NOT do it from a machine they own (keyloggers).

    Best of luck on your new job! I'm sure it's right around the corner.

21. AnonymousNovember 8,2022 at 1:13AM UTC

    I agree. Use any site you can. If it is illegal please also file with your state's employment agency.

22. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 1:12PM UTC

    If not downright illegal, I don't think there is anything you can do. Some people that own companies have no idea how to manage people. What exactly is toxic and horrific? I am just curious as to what people think is actually 'wrong' - given that I have worked in what I felt was toxic, and other people thought it was normal (!) Some people have left my current company thinking it is toxic, but I just feel it is mis-managed. Nothing malicious on their end, but only what they know. Often mom and pop shops treat their employees like family, and we know how dysfunctional families can be!

23. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 1:39PM UTC

    I wouldn’t even wait to get another job. Just leave. As long as you have at least 60 college credit you can substitute teach in the meantime. I am totally serious. Get a sub certificate and it’s the perfect job to have while you look for work!

24. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 1:39PM UTC

    Ooh, I'm so sorry!

    I can only wonder about companies who think this is the greatest and best most possible thing they can do for their employees. Blows my mind. Great advice in the comments section. You do actually bring teams together - look at everyone weighing in here :). A couple additional points. Keep your mind really strong. It's outrageous - don't stew on it, you are making the right moves, trust your self, and also do very nourishing things for yourself. Document absolutely everything - it's not illegal to be a jerk (unless they're actually engaging in the legal definition of harassment or assault). But it is illegal to make it impossible for you to do your job. It's called constructive dismissal, so document everything in case you need to engage an attorney. Agree with the comment from Renata below. It can indeed be a criminal offense. Read up on your state laws and if appropriate, if it gets out of hand with screaming, and you or anyone else feels as if violence or harmful contact will ensue, feel free to call 911 and press charges for assault. I believe in you - i wish you the very very best of luck making the change you need to make in your world.

25. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 2:45PM UTC

    Document everything! And if you cannot take it anymore (nor should you!) and leave, while looking for a another position, sign up with a few temp agencies and work their jobs, which sometimes turn into permanent positions (while paying you more than the temp agency). Brings money in while you are looking. Unfortunately, if you quit, it is difficult to get unemployment.

26. GirlBossanova934974November 5,2022 at 2:53PM UTC

    Without any details on what is being labeled as "super verbally and emotionally abusive", it is very difficult to make any substantive judgement. If you don't like this place of work, the best is to start your job search in earnest. THEN please be prepared to have a explanation as to why you are leaving your current employer. That is going to be the tricky part. You don't want to tie the alleged misdeeds to a specific person. It should be third person and should be shone in the most positive light as possible. Best wishes!

27. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 3:08PM UTC

    In 2019 I had 9 different jobs because of this very same situation. They will say it’s you, your the problem. Something is VERRYYY wrong

28. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 3:14PM UTC

    I was in a similar situation couple years ago (once in 30 years working is not bad). There has to be someone representing human resources (probably the same peson that would deal with paychecks). Tell that person you woiuld be ok if the company does layoffs and if you were one of them. Document every interaction. With any luck they are doing end of year lay-offs and you can get a small package. While I dont condone 'quiet quitting' most times, this sounds like a great place to try it until you get your wish.

29. Bonnie Low-KramenNovember 5,2022 at 6:08PM UTC

    Yours is an all too common story all over the world and we must speak up to end workplace bullying. Here are three resources that will help you. 1. https://community.workplacebullying.org/ 2. Book Taming the Abrasive Manager by Dr. Laura Crawshaw https://www.amazon.com/Taming-Abrasive-Manager-Unnecessary-Jossey-Bass/dp/0787988375 3. TEDx talk The Real Reasons People Quit https://www.ted.com/talks/bonnie_low_kramen_the_real_reasons_people_quit You are not alone.

30. AnonymousNovember 9,2022 at 2:29AM UTC

    All over the world?!? Don’t know about that

31. AnonymousNovember 5,2022 at 6:40PM UTC

    It's not clear whether or not this meets the legal definition of a hostile work environment (i.e., OP is the recipient of unwelcome conduct based on a protected characteristic such as race, sex, age, disability, etc.). But it absolutely sounds dysfunctional and toxic and very psychologically unsafe.

    Unless it aligns with federal laws that prohibit harassment and discrimination on the basis of protected characteristics, toxic workplace behavior – bullying, threatening, favoritism, sabotage, persistent criticism - remains outside of meaningful legal consequences in the United States.

    I'll add that having HR resources doesn't always help, especially when they're part of the problem - and I say this as someone who has been an HR leader for 20+ years. I was bullied out of an HR leadership role at Salesforce, by a toxic HR executive and several of my toxic HR peers. It was back in 2020 while the world was still in lockdown; there were days of lonely isolation where I didn't know if I'd actually make it out with my sanity in tact and everyone involved just watched it happen.

    I refused to sign an NDA when I left Salesforce and I have no issues with publicly naming them in an effort to help others. My bully is still in a very senior role at Salesforce to this day and unfortunately you're at the same kind of company: one that protects bullies.

    Should you document? Of course; I did. Should you consult an attorney? Ditto. But above all, protect and heal your own mental health. You'll likely suffer the effects of this experience for a long time. I'm very fortunate and privileged to have been able to take an extended period of time to find a place for my values and talents, where treatment of employees is in complete alignment with their public image. You deserve the same.

32. AnonymousNovember 8,2022 at 1:10AM UTC

    I am so sorry you went through that.

33. AnonymousNovember 6,2022 at 8:00AM UTC

    This is so disturbing, you would think in this day and age that this kind of behavior would not be so prevalent but it seems to be getting worse for people, considering how many posts I read here, not to mention other places. Sending you good energy.

34. Crystal HowellNovember 6,2022 at 1:32PM UTC

    I would try SHRM.org, do they have outside HR?

    EEOC their are rules and regulations for all business

    Better Business Bureau have consultations

    Try to contact your local Employment Office or Senator

35. AnonymousNovember 6,2022 at 11:49PM UTC

    I'm currently experiencing the same environment and dealing with the same scenario of waiting to either getting fired or finding another job.
    Mental health is a huge thing that unfortunately these higher-ups and/or other peers don't understand. It's hard not to take it personally if nothing is being resolved and it persists overtime. Definitely document everything and protect yourself. Sending positive spirits your way and everyone else who's dealing with this unacceptable behavior in the workplace and pray that it works out in your favor. Hold your head up high, sis

36. Ellen Smith FaganNovember 7,2022 at 10:48PM UTC

    They are a "team"? Then it might be difficult to win here.

    Find new work, leave the current team and file complaint with your State's Department of Labor - they are great - BECAUSE NO ONE IS HERE TO BE ABUSED - it is illegal - a form of assault. IF you do not support your own survival who will? do ift

37. Communication CoachNovember 8,2022 at 11:53PM UTC

    You can report detailed and documented hostile and harrassing conversations and incidents to EEOC if meeting their criteria which is, "The EEOC defines harassment as: unwelcome conduct that is based on race, color, religion, sex (including pregnancy), national origin, age (40 or older), disability or genetic information."

    A number of well-documented incidents would be necessary to show a pattern of hostile enviroment. Call the EEOC and ask them for guidance

38. Georgia ComptonNovember 15,2022 at 3:52PM UTC

    Glassdoor is always my go-to for snooping companies before taking a role. Reviews can never be removed and future hires will see the truth you share. Reach out to your recruiter friends, network on LinkedIn, and get out of there ASAP!